The God Box by Alex Sanchez

she is."Over the years I had gotten used to the quirkiness. I admired her faith, and I think she paved the way for my own relationship with Jesus.On Thanksgiving morning, I woke up early to help Abuelita make her best-turkey-on-earth recipe, mole poblano de guajolote, with the magical ingredient, melted chocolate. She knew how much I loved chocolate. My mouth watered the entire time we were making it.97Pa invited Raquel and some of their friends. And later in the day, after we'd finished our feast, Angie came over, bringing a pumpkin custard pie. The three of us sat in the kitchen, and Abuelita told us funny stories about growing up in her Mexican farm town: having to run away from snakes in the outhouse; how mischievous girls at her convent school secretly tacked their nun's habit to a chair to find out if she was bald, so that when the sister stood up, her headdress pulled off; and the cooking disaster when Abuelita became a restaurant chef and used too many chili peppers. I loved her stories and laughed so much that my ribs hurt.After Angie left, I was helping Abuelita unload the dishwasher when she abruptly asked, "Are you in love with her?"I almost dropped the cup I was storing. Why is she asking that? What should I answer? Am I in love with Angie? I want to be.Abuelita adjusted her clunky glasses and peered at me with her enormous eyes. "If you're not," she said sternly, "don't mislead her, mi amor. Be honest with her--and yourself."I swallowed what felt like a pumpkin-sized knot in my throat and looked away. Why was she telling me this?But she gently took my chin and turned my face back to her. "Have you ever been in love?"I hesitated, recalling Manuel's description of being head over heels about Bryan, and comparing it with Angie and me."Um, I don't know.""If you don't know," Abuelita said sternly, "then you haven't. When you're in love, you'll know."I quietly put away the last of the dishes, aching to confess to her all the turmoil bottled up inside me: my unwanted attraction toward guys, my fear of going to hell because of it, how much I wanted to be in love with Angie, and how confused I felt about the new boy at school named Manuel. I wanted to tell Abuelita all of it.98But I couldn't. It was too much to sort out. Instead, I changed my clothes and told Pa, "I'm going for a run."After spending the whole day inside, I breathed in huge gulps of fresh air, while the conversation with Abuelita dogged my every step. Had I ever been in love? Was I falling in love with Manuel?The thought tripped me mid stride; I nearly tumbled to the pavement.No way! I told myself, regaining my balance. I am not falling in love with Manuel.
    Uh-uh. No, no, no!I ran harder against the cold wind, hoping to leave my thoughts behind. But in my heart I knew that my feelings for Manuel were growing. With each step I asked Jesus, Am I falling in love with Manuel? Why?And even though it was Thanksgiving, I felt more confused than thankful.99

Chapter 21
    THE SATURDAY FOLLOWING THANKSGIVING, ANGIE AND I WENT ON OUR
    REGULAR DATE TO DINNER AND THE (S)MALL. WE WERE WALKING HAND IN
    HAND TOWARD THE MOVIE WHEN ANGIE SUDDENLY SHOUTED, "DAKOTA!
    MANUEL!""Angie!" Manuel yelled back, so loud that people turned to stare. Then he stretched his arms out, like in some corny romance, except he was laughing, and swooped her up off the floor, twirling her in a circle while she whooped.As I watched them, a feeling that I couldn't identify nagged me. Then I recalled Angie sitting beside me in the car and asking, "Are you jealous of him?" Except it wasn't Manuel I was jealous of--it was Angie, being swung around. I wished that it was me in his arms.I stood paralyzed by that realization as Manuel set Angie down, both of them still laughing."We're going to see the creature feature," Angie told Dakota, and gave me a look. After so many years with Angie, I knew what the look meant."Um, you guys want to join us?" I asked, coming back from my daze.100"Nah," Dakota