smell her crotch.”
The guy says, “Well, yes, of course!” He pulls out the money and hands it to her.
She takes it and breathes in his face.
Q. What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A. How am I suppose to get hard if I just got laid 10 minutes ago?
A young man had been dating his girlfriend for over a year, and so they decided to get married. His parents, family and friends helped him in every way. There was only one thing bothering him, very much indeed, and that one thing was his fiancée’s younger sister. She was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts and low-cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near him and he had many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day, little sister called and asked him to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when he got there. She whispered to him that soon he was to be married, but she had feelings and desires for him that she couldn’t overcome—and didn’t really want to overcome. She told him that she wanted to make love to him just once before he got married and committed his life to her sister. He was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.
She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.”
He was stunned. He was frozen in shock as he watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at him. He stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. He opened the door and stepped out of the house. He walked straight towards his car. His future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged him and said,
“We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Q. What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
A. Men miss them all.
In a mental institution, a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he’s driving a car.
The nurse asks him, “Charlie, what are you doing?”
Charlie replies, “Driving to Chicago!”
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie’s room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, “Well, Charlie, how are you doing?”
Charlie says, “I just got into Chicago.”
“Great,” replies the nurse.
The nurse leaves Charlie’s room and goes across the hall into Bob’s room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed, furiously masturbating.
Shocked, she asks, “Bob, what are you doing?”
Bob says, “I’m screwing Charlie’s wife while he’s in Chicago.”
A man picks up a hooker and takes her back to his room. She strips off all her clothes and all he does is stare at her.
“What, honey, is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?”
“No, it’s just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into!”
One night a man got drunk, walked home from the bar, passed out in bed right next to his wife and started dreaming. He dreamed that he went to heaven and was at the Pearly Gates and saw Saint Peter waiting there. He walked up and said, “Am I in heaven?”
Saint Peter replied, “Yes, you’re in heaven.”
The drunk man asked how he died and Saint Peter said, “Umm, hold on, wait a little while and I’ll get your records.” While he was waiting, the drunken man saw a blonde angel pass and asked if he could have sex with her.
Saint Peter said, “Yes, do it behind the cloud.” So he spent 30 minutes fucking the blonde and then she left. Shortly afterward, a brunette angel walked past him and he asked if he could have sex with her.
Saint Peter said, “Yes.” So once again the drunk went behind the cloud and spent 30 minutes having sex before the brunette angel left. The same thing
The guy says, “Well, yes, of course!” He pulls out the money and hands it to her.
She takes it and breathes in his face.
Q. What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A. How am I suppose to get hard if I just got laid 10 minutes ago?
A young man had been dating his girlfriend for over a year, and so they decided to get married. His parents, family and friends helped him in every way. There was only one thing bothering him, very much indeed, and that one thing was his fiancée’s younger sister. She was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts and low-cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near him and he had many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day, little sister called and asked him to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when he got there. She whispered to him that soon he was to be married, but she had feelings and desires for him that she couldn’t overcome—and didn’t really want to overcome. She told him that she wanted to make love to him just once before he got married and committed his life to her sister. He was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.
She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.”
He was stunned. He was frozen in shock as he watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at him. He stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. He opened the door and stepped out of the house. He walked straight towards his car. His future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged him and said,
“We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Q. What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
A. Men miss them all.
In a mental institution, a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he’s driving a car.
The nurse asks him, “Charlie, what are you doing?”
Charlie replies, “Driving to Chicago!”
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie’s room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, “Well, Charlie, how are you doing?”
Charlie says, “I just got into Chicago.”
“Great,” replies the nurse.
The nurse leaves Charlie’s room and goes across the hall into Bob’s room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed, furiously masturbating.
Shocked, she asks, “Bob, what are you doing?”
Bob says, “I’m screwing Charlie’s wife while he’s in Chicago.”
A man picks up a hooker and takes her back to his room. She strips off all her clothes and all he does is stare at her.
“What, honey, is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?”
“No, it’s just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into!”
One night a man got drunk, walked home from the bar, passed out in bed right next to his wife and started dreaming. He dreamed that he went to heaven and was at the Pearly Gates and saw Saint Peter waiting there. He walked up and said, “Am I in heaven?”
Saint Peter replied, “Yes, you’re in heaven.”
The drunk man asked how he died and Saint Peter said, “Umm, hold on, wait a little while and I’ll get your records.” While he was waiting, the drunken man saw a blonde angel pass and asked if he could have sex with her.
Saint Peter said, “Yes, do it behind the cloud.” So he spent 30 minutes fucking the blonde and then she left. Shortly afterward, a brunette angel walked past him and he asked if he could have sex with her.
Saint Peter said, “Yes.” So once again the drunk went behind the cloud and spent 30 minutes having sex before the brunette angel left. The same thing
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