them because I give a hand job that’s worth $500.”
Guy says, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.” They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he’s just experienced the hand job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow job is $1,000?”
The hooker replies, “$1,500.”
“I wouldn’t pay that for a blow job!”
The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “Sign me up.”
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, “How much for some pussy?”
The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?”
“Damn!” the guy says in awe. “You own the whole city?”
“No,” the hooker replies, “but I would if I had a pussy.”
Two old guys walk into a brothel and ask the madam behind the counter for her two best whores. The madam thinks, I’m not giving these men my two best whores. So she asks someone to put two blow up dolls in two separate rooms. The men go in and do their thing.
They come out when they are done and one says to the other, “How was your whore?”
“Mine was the best I ever had. How about yours?”
“I think mine was a witch.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Well, I got to nibbling on her nipple and she let out a loud fart and flew out the window!!”
Back in the 1800s, a farmer and his daughter head into the market to sell that year’s crop so they can survive the winter. They sell everything and have plenty of money to make it through the winter. On the way back, the father notices a pack of robbers behind them. He breaks down because he knows that they are planning to take all of the money.
The daughter says, “Quick, Dad, give me the money!”
Moments later the robbers take everything they can. The father begins to cry and the daughter says, “It’s OK, Dad, I have the money still.”
He replies, “Where did you hide it?”
She says, “In my pussy.”
He replies, “Damn, if we had brought your mother we could have saved the horse and cart, too.”
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word “penis” in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word “penis” again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson. Every morning for about a week she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, and each day the word was larger than the day before.
Finally, one day she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead found the words: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!”
A blonde and a brunette walk into a bar. As they sit down, the brunette notices a guy checking out the blonde. So the brunette decides to go and talk to this guy. She walks up to him and says, “I see you’ve been checking out my friend. You know, the blonde sitting over there. She’s pretty isn’t she?”
The guy responds, “Oh, man, she’s just gorgeous, absolutely beautiful.”
The brunette says, “Well, for $50 I can arrange for you to
Guy says, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.” They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he’s just experienced the hand job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow job is $1,000?”
The hooker replies, “$1,500.”
“I wouldn’t pay that for a blow job!”
The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “Sign me up.”
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, “How much for some pussy?”
The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?”
“Damn!” the guy says in awe. “You own the whole city?”
“No,” the hooker replies, “but I would if I had a pussy.”
Two old guys walk into a brothel and ask the madam behind the counter for her two best whores. The madam thinks, I’m not giving these men my two best whores. So she asks someone to put two blow up dolls in two separate rooms. The men go in and do their thing.
They come out when they are done and one says to the other, “How was your whore?”
“Mine was the best I ever had. How about yours?”
“I think mine was a witch.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Well, I got to nibbling on her nipple and she let out a loud fart and flew out the window!!”
Back in the 1800s, a farmer and his daughter head into the market to sell that year’s crop so they can survive the winter. They sell everything and have plenty of money to make it through the winter. On the way back, the father notices a pack of robbers behind them. He breaks down because he knows that they are planning to take all of the money.
The daughter says, “Quick, Dad, give me the money!”
Moments later the robbers take everything they can. The father begins to cry and the daughter says, “It’s OK, Dad, I have the money still.”
He replies, “Where did you hide it?”
She says, “In my pussy.”
He replies, “Damn, if we had brought your mother we could have saved the horse and cart, too.”
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word “penis” in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word “penis” again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson. Every morning for about a week she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, and each day the word was larger than the day before.
Finally, one day she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead found the words: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!”
A blonde and a brunette walk into a bar. As they sit down, the brunette notices a guy checking out the blonde. So the brunette decides to go and talk to this guy. She walks up to him and says, “I see you’ve been checking out my friend. You know, the blonde sitting over there. She’s pretty isn’t she?”
The guy responds, “Oh, man, she’s just gorgeous, absolutely beautiful.”
The brunette says, “Well, for $50 I can arrange for you to
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