thinner. She closed her eyes and thought of her hometown: the old store with pouches of tea; green hills and the trees of Qingshan Valley. When she opened her eyes, she felt the eyes on her. She had attracted a few bystanders.
“ Are you alright ?” asked a man in his early forties reaching with one hand.
Qiu looked straight up at him. She looked bewildered as she stretched her arm toward his hand. Grabbing Qiu’s hand the man repeated his question.
“ Yes, thank you ,” was all Qiu could manage. She turned away from him as she settled on her feet and the man looked at her suspiciously. Qiu throttled the Vespa with its engine still running and was sent off in the direction of the pink brick building. She arrived in front of her building with a dazed expression on her face and feeling about herself. She parked the Vespa in a diagonal direction, preventing other scooters from lining up in a straight row. Usually she would have cared, this time she didn’t. She struggled to find the key to the big wooden door and became increasingly frustrated. She finally found it in deep in the left pocket of her blue jean shorts and opened the door. She tumbled her way through the dimly lit foyer and braced herself against the wall as she ascended the stairs to the first floor. She made sure she had her key ready when she arrived at the door to Unit 203. The door opened without any delay and she slammed the door behind her, as she darted to the bathroom. She began to run water from the faucet and splash it in her face. Her throat was burning so she swallowed some water as well.
In the bedroom, Qiu collapse on the bed leading with her back. She lied on the top sheet and stared at the ceiling. She began rolling her head from side to side to shake the dazed feeling. The room gained a sudden chill causing Qiu to wiggle her body to get under the top sheet. She didn’t bother to change her clothes. When her body went under the covers, so did her consciousness. Her head rolled to the side and she slept a dead sleep. Qiu woke up forty-five minutes later feeling less nausea but more of a threat. It was the same feeling that she had the day before, when she was convinced she would need to leave the apartment door open for escape. The feeling made her uneasy and she didn’t know the time. She thought she might have overslept, forcing her daughter to ride the city bus home. She thought the threatening presence was her daughter sitting frustrated in the living room because she had come home alone. Qiu called out to her daughter. Her voice rang once throughout the apartment and no other voice came back. There was no one in the apartment but Qiu. Still she felt the presence.
The weeks passed with Qiu’s worsening health. She grew pale beyond what foundation makeup could hide. Watching her at work was watching her balance on stilts, not walk on legs. A worried Mr. Nan finally thought of an argument to intervene. He wouldn’t say anything because Qiu was always on time, always worked and never complained. But he couldn’t ignore the fading looks of a woman he wished he were young enough to marry. He called her into the kitchen and made her look into the mirror over the sink in the back, where employees washed their hands.
“ You see this face ?” he said, “ This is a face that used to bring in customers, now it’s scaring them off. This is the face of someone who, no matter how much she smiles at customers, still looks like she doesn’t want to be here. You see this woman? This woman needs to know her limits. This woman needs to take care of herself. This woman has two weeks to go get herself checked out. Two weeks paid. ”
Qiu had been too sick and dumbfounded to even thank him. As the thin framed man trailed off, he pretended he was only concerned about his business. Qiu stared at him and small tears came to her exhausted looking eyes.
“ Are you alright ?” asked a man in his early forties reaching with one hand.
Qiu looked straight up at him. She looked bewildered as she stretched her arm toward his hand. Grabbing Qiu’s hand the man repeated his question.
“ Yes, thank you ,” was all Qiu could manage. She turned away from him as she settled on her feet and the man looked at her suspiciously. Qiu throttled the Vespa with its engine still running and was sent off in the direction of the pink brick building. She arrived in front of her building with a dazed expression on her face and feeling about herself. She parked the Vespa in a diagonal direction, preventing other scooters from lining up in a straight row. Usually she would have cared, this time she didn’t. She struggled to find the key to the big wooden door and became increasingly frustrated. She finally found it in deep in the left pocket of her blue jean shorts and opened the door. She tumbled her way through the dimly lit foyer and braced herself against the wall as she ascended the stairs to the first floor. She made sure she had her key ready when she arrived at the door to Unit 203. The door opened without any delay and she slammed the door behind her, as she darted to the bathroom. She began to run water from the faucet and splash it in her face. Her throat was burning so she swallowed some water as well.
In the bedroom, Qiu collapse on the bed leading with her back. She lied on the top sheet and stared at the ceiling. She began rolling her head from side to side to shake the dazed feeling. The room gained a sudden chill causing Qiu to wiggle her body to get under the top sheet. She didn’t bother to change her clothes. When her body went under the covers, so did her consciousness. Her head rolled to the side and she slept a dead sleep. Qiu woke up forty-five minutes later feeling less nausea but more of a threat. It was the same feeling that she had the day before, when she was convinced she would need to leave the apartment door open for escape. The feeling made her uneasy and she didn’t know the time. She thought she might have overslept, forcing her daughter to ride the city bus home. She thought the threatening presence was her daughter sitting frustrated in the living room because she had come home alone. Qiu called out to her daughter. Her voice rang once throughout the apartment and no other voice came back. There was no one in the apartment but Qiu. Still she felt the presence.
The weeks passed with Qiu’s worsening health. She grew pale beyond what foundation makeup could hide. Watching her at work was watching her balance on stilts, not walk on legs. A worried Mr. Nan finally thought of an argument to intervene. He wouldn’t say anything because Qiu was always on time, always worked and never complained. But he couldn’t ignore the fading looks of a woman he wished he were young enough to marry. He called her into the kitchen and made her look into the mirror over the sink in the back, where employees washed their hands.
“ You see this face ?” he said, “ This is a face that used to bring in customers, now it’s scaring them off. This is the face of someone who, no matter how much she smiles at customers, still looks like she doesn’t want to be here. You see this woman? This woman needs to know her limits. This woman needs to take care of herself. This woman has two weeks to go get herself checked out. Two weeks paid. ”
Qiu had been too sick and dumbfounded to even thank him. As the thin framed man trailed off, he pretended he was only concerned about his business. Qiu stared at him and small tears came to her exhausted looking eyes.
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