test. And put things right. There is still a chance to do right.”
Leo heard her. Chance to do right. Chance to do right. Chance to do right. The baby woke and struggled in his arms. He passed her back to Pauline.
“Why is she called Perdita?”
“It means little lost one.”
“I’ll come to the house tomorrow. We’ll go and take a test. OK?”
That evening Pauline and Tony went to the Everyman Cinema.
Pauline was wearing a pretty dress and Tony had brushed his sports jacket. He bought the cinema tickets even though Pauline could have bought the cinema.
They sat upright and formal in the comfy couple seats. Pauline realised that she never went to the movies because it made her feel sorry for herself. She thought about her mother’s parents, fleeing Nazi Germany and starting a salt-beef bar in the East End. It was a hard life but a happy marriage. Her mother trained as a nurse and married a dentist. Pauline had gone to an academic girls’ school, then to university, then into investment banking. Refugees to riches in three generations. But she hadn’t met anyone she liked well enough to be with. She knew her parents worried about her; about being lonely, old, uncared for.
Now, sitting next to Tony studiously watching Lauren Bacall and making sure his body was a clear three inches away from hers, she suddenly moved close to him. Very slowly he took her hand.
Afterwards, walking back down the hill from the cinema in Hampstead towards Pauline’s house in Belsize Park, she asked Tony what he liked to do at weekends. “Go walking,” he said. “I feel better outside. I’m going to Kew Gardens tomorrow.”
Pauline did not really believe in walking; first there were legs, then there were bicycles and now there were cars. But she thought she might give it a try.
At her front door Tony thanked her for the evening. They agreed to meet the following day. They stood smiling at each other under the street lamp. Neither of them knew what to do next. She touched his arm, nodded and went up the path to the front door. He watched till she was safely inside.
Pauline looked at herself in the hall mirror. She thought she’d pop to the chemist in the morning and get a new lipstick.
—
When Tony got home, strangely, or not strangely, light-hearted, there was a message on his answer machine.
Tomorrow. Heathrow. Twelve noon.
—
The next morning Leo got up early. His mind felt clean and clear. For the first time in weeks, months, he could stop thinking because at last he knew what to do.
The emptiness of the house that had seemed hateful to him now seemed like a space to create something new. What had happened could unhappen.
—
Leo arrived an hour early at Pauline’s. He was shaved, dressed; he seemed different, better.
Pauline was wondering if she needed walking boots to go to Kew Gardens. And what were those things people wore in the country? Barbours?
“Kew Gardens is a park,” said Leo.
“Well, all right,” said Pauline, “but Jews don’t do rain. It makes us nervous. Look what happened to Noah.”
“Who are you going with?” asked Leo.
“I’ve got a date. What’s it to ya?”
“So you’ll be out all day?”
Pauline nodded. “MiMi’s taken Milo swimming. She won’t be back till eleven.”
“I know. He told me.”
“Leo—I’d like to pop up to the chemist before we go for the test. Will you look after Perdita for half an hour?”
“No problem, Pauline. Give her to me.”
He was charming Leo, smiling Leo, persuasive Leo. Pauline grabbed her handbag and went on her errand.
As soon as he was sure she was out of the way, Leo let himself out of the house and got back into his car. In his car was a wine box with a blanket in it. He laid the baby down. She started to cry. He put the radio on.
—
Tony was waiting at the entrance to Terminal 5. Leo gave him the passport and a bag. “Nappies. Formula milk. Clean clothes. Rash cream. All the shit. You know how to change a baby, don’t
Leo heard her. Chance to do right. Chance to do right. Chance to do right. The baby woke and struggled in his arms. He passed her back to Pauline.
“Why is she called Perdita?”
“It means little lost one.”
“I’ll come to the house tomorrow. We’ll go and take a test. OK?”
That evening Pauline and Tony went to the Everyman Cinema.
Pauline was wearing a pretty dress and Tony had brushed his sports jacket. He bought the cinema tickets even though Pauline could have bought the cinema.
They sat upright and formal in the comfy couple seats. Pauline realised that she never went to the movies because it made her feel sorry for herself. She thought about her mother’s parents, fleeing Nazi Germany and starting a salt-beef bar in the East End. It was a hard life but a happy marriage. Her mother trained as a nurse and married a dentist. Pauline had gone to an academic girls’ school, then to university, then into investment banking. Refugees to riches in three generations. But she hadn’t met anyone she liked well enough to be with. She knew her parents worried about her; about being lonely, old, uncared for.
Now, sitting next to Tony studiously watching Lauren Bacall and making sure his body was a clear three inches away from hers, she suddenly moved close to him. Very slowly he took her hand.
Afterwards, walking back down the hill from the cinema in Hampstead towards Pauline’s house in Belsize Park, she asked Tony what he liked to do at weekends. “Go walking,” he said. “I feel better outside. I’m going to Kew Gardens tomorrow.”
Pauline did not really believe in walking; first there were legs, then there were bicycles and now there were cars. But she thought she might give it a try.
At her front door Tony thanked her for the evening. They agreed to meet the following day. They stood smiling at each other under the street lamp. Neither of them knew what to do next. She touched his arm, nodded and went up the path to the front door. He watched till she was safely inside.
Pauline looked at herself in the hall mirror. She thought she’d pop to the chemist in the morning and get a new lipstick.
—
When Tony got home, strangely, or not strangely, light-hearted, there was a message on his answer machine.
Tomorrow. Heathrow. Twelve noon.
—
The next morning Leo got up early. His mind felt clean and clear. For the first time in weeks, months, he could stop thinking because at last he knew what to do.
The emptiness of the house that had seemed hateful to him now seemed like a space to create something new. What had happened could unhappen.
—
Leo arrived an hour early at Pauline’s. He was shaved, dressed; he seemed different, better.
Pauline was wondering if she needed walking boots to go to Kew Gardens. And what were those things people wore in the country? Barbours?
“Kew Gardens is a park,” said Leo.
“Well, all right,” said Pauline, “but Jews don’t do rain. It makes us nervous. Look what happened to Noah.”
“Who are you going with?” asked Leo.
“I’ve got a date. What’s it to ya?”
“So you’ll be out all day?”
Pauline nodded. “MiMi’s taken Milo swimming. She won’t be back till eleven.”
“I know. He told me.”
“Leo—I’d like to pop up to the chemist before we go for the test. Will you look after Perdita for half an hour?”
“No problem, Pauline. Give her to me.”
He was charming Leo, smiling Leo, persuasive Leo. Pauline grabbed her handbag and went on her errand.
As soon as he was sure she was out of the way, Leo let himself out of the house and got back into his car. In his car was a wine box with a blanket in it. He laid the baby down. She started to cry. He put the radio on.
—
Tony was waiting at the entrance to Terminal 5. Leo gave him the passport and a bag. “Nappies. Formula milk. Clean clothes. Rash cream. All the shit. You know how to change a baby, don’t
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