can’t honestly say that I paid much attention to it. About half way through, Joshua got up to go check on the tumble dryer and the swirl of confusion that spiraled through my mind in those few moments he was gone were just indescribable.
I tried to organize my thoughts but I wasn’t successful. Instead, I focused my attention on Bruce Willis who was running all over the place firing his gun.
“The clothes are dry,” he signed when he came back in the room.
“Good. I’ll put mine on. They’ll keep me warm,” I answered. Joshua nodded. I walked into the kitchen to find that he’d folded our clothes into two piles on the kitchen table.
I watched the rest of the film after I was dressed and then I left to go home but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I knew I was being foolish but the emotions were much stronger than what I remembered of them from before.
Chapter 18
Joshua insisted on walking me home and we walked most of the way in silence. I was under the impression he was trying very hard to please me after the heartache he’d put me through.
I looked up at the sky as we walked and noticed the array of colors from the setting sun. The pinks, blues and purples. Before we’d left the house, Joshua had shown me the painting that I had done for him of the sunset and I cast my mind back to the bright colors of the image. I was touched that he had kept it. I admit though I would have been upset if he hadn’t. I thought of the day we’d spent together and how he’d so easily revived the spirit in me. He’d shown me the things that I had once appreciated and no longer noticed. I smiled to myself.
“What are you thinking?” He signed to me.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You’re smiling to yourself.” My smile grew wider.
“I was thinking how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me today,” I signed. I put my hand in his and he squeezed gently. We walked in silence. The silence that was our lives. The silence that never left.
I realized how slow we were walking and it was all because I secretly didn’t want to go home. I wanted to stay with him and enjoy the moments but despite that, I was still wary of him. He had, after all, deserted me at the point when I thought it would have been impossible.
We stood awkwardly outside my front door. I didn’t know what to do and he didn’t know what to say. I avoided looking at his face because I knew he was staring straight at me. When I eventually looked up, his gaze was so intense I couldn’t look away.
“Jocelyn, I’m so sorry for everything that has happened. For abandoning you, for your sister getting ill, for everything.”
“Thank you.” I expected him to lean in and try to kiss me. I’d been thinking how I would handle the situation if he did but to my surprise he simply turned and walked away. There was no promise of seeing me soon, there was no flirting, there was no imposed conversation. He just left, like he did over a year ago. I watched him walk away before entering my house.
There was no-one downstairs so I assumed Daddy was tucking Helen into bed. I gently opened the door to her room to see him sat on the bed talking to her. She looked so frail but at least there was a little bit of color back in her cheeks. They both looked up as I entered, a smile spread across Helen’s face.
“Can you tell me a story, please,” she asked. I nodded in reply. Daddy smiled. I lip read as he said his goodnight to Helen and then left the room.
I went and settled myself in Daddy’s space on the bed. I could feel the warmth that he had left there. “Have I ever told you the story of Beauty and the Beast?” I asked. Helen shook her head.
“Once upon a time there was a rich Prince. He was greedy and ungrateful. His parents encouraged him to take a wife but he refused, saying that he needed no such thing. One rainy, stormy night, an old Woman visited the castle and asked the Prince to give her shelter for the
I tried to organize my thoughts but I wasn’t successful. Instead, I focused my attention on Bruce Willis who was running all over the place firing his gun.
“The clothes are dry,” he signed when he came back in the room.
“Good. I’ll put mine on. They’ll keep me warm,” I answered. Joshua nodded. I walked into the kitchen to find that he’d folded our clothes into two piles on the kitchen table.
I watched the rest of the film after I was dressed and then I left to go home but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I knew I was being foolish but the emotions were much stronger than what I remembered of them from before.
Chapter 18
Joshua insisted on walking me home and we walked most of the way in silence. I was under the impression he was trying very hard to please me after the heartache he’d put me through.
I looked up at the sky as we walked and noticed the array of colors from the setting sun. The pinks, blues and purples. Before we’d left the house, Joshua had shown me the painting that I had done for him of the sunset and I cast my mind back to the bright colors of the image. I was touched that he had kept it. I admit though I would have been upset if he hadn’t. I thought of the day we’d spent together and how he’d so easily revived the spirit in me. He’d shown me the things that I had once appreciated and no longer noticed. I smiled to myself.
“What are you thinking?” He signed to me.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You’re smiling to yourself.” My smile grew wider.
“I was thinking how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me today,” I signed. I put my hand in his and he squeezed gently. We walked in silence. The silence that was our lives. The silence that never left.
I realized how slow we were walking and it was all because I secretly didn’t want to go home. I wanted to stay with him and enjoy the moments but despite that, I was still wary of him. He had, after all, deserted me at the point when I thought it would have been impossible.
We stood awkwardly outside my front door. I didn’t know what to do and he didn’t know what to say. I avoided looking at his face because I knew he was staring straight at me. When I eventually looked up, his gaze was so intense I couldn’t look away.
“Jocelyn, I’m so sorry for everything that has happened. For abandoning you, for your sister getting ill, for everything.”
“Thank you.” I expected him to lean in and try to kiss me. I’d been thinking how I would handle the situation if he did but to my surprise he simply turned and walked away. There was no promise of seeing me soon, there was no flirting, there was no imposed conversation. He just left, like he did over a year ago. I watched him walk away before entering my house.
There was no-one downstairs so I assumed Daddy was tucking Helen into bed. I gently opened the door to her room to see him sat on the bed talking to her. She looked so frail but at least there was a little bit of color back in her cheeks. They both looked up as I entered, a smile spread across Helen’s face.
“Can you tell me a story, please,” she asked. I nodded in reply. Daddy smiled. I lip read as he said his goodnight to Helen and then left the room.
I went and settled myself in Daddy’s space on the bed. I could feel the warmth that he had left there. “Have I ever told you the story of Beauty and the Beast?” I asked. Helen shook her head.
“Once upon a time there was a rich Prince. He was greedy and ungrateful. His parents encouraged him to take a wife but he refused, saying that he needed no such thing. One rainy, stormy night, an old Woman visited the castle and asked the Prince to give her shelter for the
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