The Frenzy by Francesca Lia Block Page A

felt so real, as if I were running through the darkness with my scary, beautiful brothers, following the scent in the air that would lead us to our prey. I woke with the ache in my hips and teeth and had to touch myself to make sure I hadn’t changed. I sniffed my skin for the scent of the forest and felt for leaves in my hair, wondering if I had wandered into the old grove in my sleep and found my way back to bed. But I knew I could only go in my dreams. And besides, I had Corey’s body and his sweet words to help me forget.
    Corey didn’t question the change of location. He just seemed happy to be alone with me. There was an abandoned barn on the outside of town and we made love there as the last light of the day slanted through the broken beams.
    On the Fourth of July we climbed all the way up onto the roof and watched the fireworks from theshow at the college field cascade down the sky. There were big booms of red, white and blue and explosions of poison green but my favorite ones were the pale white-gold shimmers like something angelic.
    I told Corey and he said, “You’re my angel.”
    “I’m so not,” I answered.
    “My fallen angel, then.”
    “No doubt.”
    Sometimes if I’d had an especially hard day I’d be distracted by the faint scent of farm animals in the barn and I felt a weird urge—a frantic stirring that started in my stomach—but then I only kissed Corey harder and forgot my appetite and was satisfied that way. I got home by dark so my mom and dad stayed off my back. Sometimes I took a chance by sneaking out at night through the window, locking my door from the inside behind me. I figured my mom and dad trusted me enough, now that I was in therapy and keeping up an act of following all their rules. I think my dad was ashamed about the time he hit me so he gave me morespace than he had before. Maybe Nieberding had had a talk with him. Sometimes on weekends I could get away with staying out later legitimately, if I told them I was with Pace. He always covered for me.
    But during that time I shut Pace out, too. I was so dizzy with love for Corey, and fear that it might end, that I might change, that I wasn’t there for my best friend. After whatever had happened with the guy, Michael, Pace had kind of shut down on me but I guess I also had pulled away from him a little when our relationship seemed to bother my boyfriend.
    We saw each other only a few times, Pace and I. The last time, we went back to the house on Green. He asked me to go with him but I wish I had told him not to go.
    “Why are we here?” I asked. “I thought you didn’t want to go back.”
    “It’s okay now,” he said. His voice was soft, too soft, resigned, but I didn’t understand what that meant then.
    We sat inside there, just looking around at the shadows, shivering with cold, and he took off his button-down—the kind he always wore with under-shirts—and gave it to me to put on over my tank top. He insisted. He said it looked good on me and when we left he made me keep it. I wore it home even though I was hot by then. I hung it in my closet and forgot about it.
    I forgot about the shirt in the same way I had neglected one of the only people who accepted me as I was when maybe I could have helped him.

Full Moon
    I had even started avoiding Joe Ranger. But one night crossing the plaza on my way to meet Corey, I saw the rushing shadows of skateboarders—Carl Olaf and his friends. To avoid them, I turned and found myself in front of Joe’s prosthetics shop. He was drinking from a can of Red Bull and wiping the sweat off his brow.
    “There you are,” he growled.
    I had trouble looking at him. “Hi, Joey.”
    “You been avoiding me.”
    “No, I just see Corey a lot lately. He’s leaving for New York soon.”
    Joe nodded and took something out of his workshirt pocket. It was a tiny rabbit. He petted it gently with his thumb. I couldn’t help smiling when I saw it.
    “Who’s that?” I asked.
    “Stella.