won't stuff the band up, Zo. Never. I just..." I let out a long sigh. "I just need this time before I come home, okay?"
She let it drop almost immediately and I was relieved beyond belief. "Where are you exactly? Like right now?"
"I'm sitting on the bonnet of my rental car looking out over the Grand Canyon. I'm the only one here."
"Dee, that's amazing. Think of the amazing thing you're seeing right now."
"If Dee was at the Grand Canyon and no one was around to see it, was he really at the Grand Canyon?" The silence stretched on into infinity and even I knew I was beating my head against a wall. I had to want to get over Jessie, not wallow in the thing I couldn't have with her.
"I don't know what to say to make it better, Dee."
"Time," I sighed. "You already told me."
"You don't have to tell me," she said, her voice so quiet on the other end of the line, I almost missed it. "I get it."
I didn't want to talk about it anymore. This whole conversation was beginning to go around and around like a perverted merry-go-round. "I'll call you in a couple of days, okay?"
"Okay. Love you."
"Love you."
I'd like to say that things were okay. I'd like to say that I wasn't feeling guilty for what I'd done. Anything I could have said would have been an excuse.
I'd looked down at Dee while he was asleep and realized I couldn't do it to him. He was genuinely good. Once he figured out I was less than nice, the crap I was hiding from, he'd ditch me first chance he got. So to save everyone, I cut out the middle man and left. I was afraid of the feelings he'd stirred up in me and I was afraid of hurting him. Walking away seemed to be the best option for both of us. He wouldn't have, so I had to.
I kept telling myself I had to be cruel to be kind, but that was just fucked up. If I thought doing something like running out on the sweetest guy ever in the middle of the night after sleeping with him, was the way to go… then I didn't deserve him. Problem was, I didn't deserve him in the first place.
I had to forget about Dee Cosgrove and Dee Cosgrove had to forget about me. It was as simple as that.
Sitting on the floor in the back room of Couch, the cafe slash bar where I worked, doing inventory wasn't helping my state of mind all that much. I started counting the back stock of coffee beans for the fifth time. One, two, eight, five, seven. Shit.
"Jessie," Ed called out into the silent room, making me jump. Ed was my boss and the sweetest thing. Flirted with me non-stop, but he was one hundred percent gay and one hundred percent sweetheart.
Looking up I saw his head sticking through the door, his glasses askew. "Yeah?"
"There's some woman out front asking for you."
I frowned, wondering who it could be. I didn't really have any friends outside of work. "Okay, I'll be a second."
Ed nodded and the door closed behind him. Dusting off my jeans, I wandered out front. That's when my eyes collided with Zoe Granger's.
Instantly, my blood ran cold and I felt like running the opposite direction. Why was she here? Why I even asked myself the question was pointless. There was only one reason and it was the one I left sleeping in my hotel room back in LA.
Taking a deep breath, I stopped in front of her on the opposite side of the counter, hoping that it would serve as some kind of buffer if she decided to throttle me.
"How did you find me?" I asked quietly. She leaned against the counter, looking tough with all her tattoos and wild hair and I felt like a mouse compared to her.
"I threatened Georgie with a sexual harassment suit."
I snorted.
"You know why I'm here, Jessie."
I nodded, trying to stop myself from checking for an escape route.
"I think it'd be best if we had a seat, yes?" She gestured behind her where the cafe was still fairly empty. Mid-afternoon and all.
I looked up at Ed, who nodded. "Take your break now if you want." He gave me a look that said ' are you okay ?' and I nodded.
"Thanks." I rounded
She let it drop almost immediately and I was relieved beyond belief. "Where are you exactly? Like right now?"
"I'm sitting on the bonnet of my rental car looking out over the Grand Canyon. I'm the only one here."
"Dee, that's amazing. Think of the amazing thing you're seeing right now."
"If Dee was at the Grand Canyon and no one was around to see it, was he really at the Grand Canyon?" The silence stretched on into infinity and even I knew I was beating my head against a wall. I had to want to get over Jessie, not wallow in the thing I couldn't have with her.
"I don't know what to say to make it better, Dee."
"Time," I sighed. "You already told me."
"You don't have to tell me," she said, her voice so quiet on the other end of the line, I almost missed it. "I get it."
I didn't want to talk about it anymore. This whole conversation was beginning to go around and around like a perverted merry-go-round. "I'll call you in a couple of days, okay?"
"Okay. Love you."
"Love you."
I'd like to say that things were okay. I'd like to say that I wasn't feeling guilty for what I'd done. Anything I could have said would have been an excuse.
I'd looked down at Dee while he was asleep and realized I couldn't do it to him. He was genuinely good. Once he figured out I was less than nice, the crap I was hiding from, he'd ditch me first chance he got. So to save everyone, I cut out the middle man and left. I was afraid of the feelings he'd stirred up in me and I was afraid of hurting him. Walking away seemed to be the best option for both of us. He wouldn't have, so I had to.
I kept telling myself I had to be cruel to be kind, but that was just fucked up. If I thought doing something like running out on the sweetest guy ever in the middle of the night after sleeping with him, was the way to go… then I didn't deserve him. Problem was, I didn't deserve him in the first place.
I had to forget about Dee Cosgrove and Dee Cosgrove had to forget about me. It was as simple as that.
Sitting on the floor in the back room of Couch, the cafe slash bar where I worked, doing inventory wasn't helping my state of mind all that much. I started counting the back stock of coffee beans for the fifth time. One, two, eight, five, seven. Shit.
"Jessie," Ed called out into the silent room, making me jump. Ed was my boss and the sweetest thing. Flirted with me non-stop, but he was one hundred percent gay and one hundred percent sweetheart.
Looking up I saw his head sticking through the door, his glasses askew. "Yeah?"
"There's some woman out front asking for you."
I frowned, wondering who it could be. I didn't really have any friends outside of work. "Okay, I'll be a second."
Ed nodded and the door closed behind him. Dusting off my jeans, I wandered out front. That's when my eyes collided with Zoe Granger's.
Instantly, my blood ran cold and I felt like running the opposite direction. Why was she here? Why I even asked myself the question was pointless. There was only one reason and it was the one I left sleeping in my hotel room back in LA.
Taking a deep breath, I stopped in front of her on the opposite side of the counter, hoping that it would serve as some kind of buffer if she decided to throttle me.
"How did you find me?" I asked quietly. She leaned against the counter, looking tough with all her tattoos and wild hair and I felt like a mouse compared to her.
"I threatened Georgie with a sexual harassment suit."
I snorted.
"You know why I'm here, Jessie."
I nodded, trying to stop myself from checking for an escape route.
"I think it'd be best if we had a seat, yes?" She gestured behind her where the cafe was still fairly empty. Mid-afternoon and all.
I looked up at Ed, who nodded. "Take your break now if you want." He gave me a look that said ' are you okay ?' and I nodded.
"Thanks." I rounded
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