the whole night together; he might have thought it was a date.”
“I don’t blame Garfunkle, I blame
her.
She’s the one who stole my father and ruined everything,” Abernathy muttered in a most resentful and childlike manner.
“You seem to forget that your father fell in love with Madame as much as she did with him…” Schmidty trailed off as he ineffectively tried to move a large brown box from his path.
At that moment Abernathy was grateful to be hidden between an old dresser and a trash bag full of clothes. Pain contorted his face as he processed Schmidty’swords. The same alarming, yet logical, thought had slipped into his mind many times over the years. And on each occasion, Abernathy found it too agonizing to even entertain. He had built his life upon the premise that his father was good and his stepmother was bad, and he had no intention of reevaluating the notion now.
“I found it!” Abernathy called out, slowly advancing toward the child-sized bunk beds with linens dating from World War II.
“Excellent, Mister Abernathy. I shall be there in twelve to fifteen minutes,” Schmidty said as he assessed the mountain of wreckage separating the two of them.
With his body throbbing from mental and physical exhaustion, Abernathy collapsed onto the bottom bunk. Spending time with his stepmother, surviving a plane crash, and confronting his worst fear about his father made for a terribly overwhelming day. As a matter of fact, by the time Schmidty finally found the beds, Abernathy was fast asleep. Regrettably, this meant Schmidty had to take the top bunk, a most dangerous scenario for all involved.
While Schmidty attempted to sleep, his portly frame bowing mere inches above Abernathy, the students madetheir way to their subterranean sleeping quarters. The basement’s walls were lined with splintered wooden slats, rusted pipes, and clusters of wild brown and white mushrooms.
“My throat feels funny. I think some of these mushrooms could be poisonous,” Theo whimpered, frightened, as he looked at the walls.
“Are you sure it’s the mushrooms?” Garrison asked skeptically. “Because I don’t feel anything, and I’m breathing the same air you are.”
“I almost died from eating a moldy mushroom once, so excuse me if I’m a little sensitive!”
“Why would you ever eat a moldy mushroom?” Garrison asked incredulously.
“I thought it was blue cheese… and I love blue cheese.”
“Celery doesn’t think anyone should eat moldy food, unless of course they’re homeless and have no choice. Sadly, homelessness is a big problem in the ferret community. Ever since the economy tanked people have been leaving their ferrets to fend for themselves. And they can’t just Dumpster-dive like cats and dogs do; ferrets are total food snobs.”
“I don’t have time to worry about homeless ferrets!”Theo lamented dramatically. “What if toxic mushroom spores stunt my development? I’m counting on a significant growth spurt to spread out my chunk!”
“Theo,” Madeleine said firmly, “I assure you, mushroom spores will not harm you. Your fears are wholly unfounded, scientifically speaking, so please calm down.”
“Thank you Maddie,” Theo blustered as he caught his breath.
“Now on to more pressing issues. As I’m sure you’re aware, basements are well known hideouts for spiders, especially black widows,” Madeleine said as she surveyed the shadowy corners of the room.
“Don’t worry, Maddie, we’ll be fine on the ground,” Garrison said feebly, once again looking over their dreary accommodations. “Of course, we’re sleeping under rusted pipes that could burst at any second, possibly drowning us to death in the basement of the Contrary Conservatory. But other than that there’s nothing to worry about…”
“The floor is a creepy-crawly highway, and I have absolutely no intention of putting my body in the middle of it!” Madeleine exploded, clinging hysterically to her shower cap.
“I don’t blame Garfunkle, I blame
her.
She’s the one who stole my father and ruined everything,” Abernathy muttered in a most resentful and childlike manner.
“You seem to forget that your father fell in love with Madame as much as she did with him…” Schmidty trailed off as he ineffectively tried to move a large brown box from his path.
At that moment Abernathy was grateful to be hidden between an old dresser and a trash bag full of clothes. Pain contorted his face as he processed Schmidty’swords. The same alarming, yet logical, thought had slipped into his mind many times over the years. And on each occasion, Abernathy found it too agonizing to even entertain. He had built his life upon the premise that his father was good and his stepmother was bad, and he had no intention of reevaluating the notion now.
“I found it!” Abernathy called out, slowly advancing toward the child-sized bunk beds with linens dating from World War II.
“Excellent, Mister Abernathy. I shall be there in twelve to fifteen minutes,” Schmidty said as he assessed the mountain of wreckage separating the two of them.
With his body throbbing from mental and physical exhaustion, Abernathy collapsed onto the bottom bunk. Spending time with his stepmother, surviving a plane crash, and confronting his worst fear about his father made for a terribly overwhelming day. As a matter of fact, by the time Schmidty finally found the beds, Abernathy was fast asleep. Regrettably, this meant Schmidty had to take the top bunk, a most dangerous scenario for all involved.
While Schmidty attempted to sleep, his portly frame bowing mere inches above Abernathy, the students madetheir way to their subterranean sleeping quarters. The basement’s walls were lined with splintered wooden slats, rusted pipes, and clusters of wild brown and white mushrooms.
“My throat feels funny. I think some of these mushrooms could be poisonous,” Theo whimpered, frightened, as he looked at the walls.
“Are you sure it’s the mushrooms?” Garrison asked skeptically. “Because I don’t feel anything, and I’m breathing the same air you are.”
“I almost died from eating a moldy mushroom once, so excuse me if I’m a little sensitive!”
“Why would you ever eat a moldy mushroom?” Garrison asked incredulously.
“I thought it was blue cheese… and I love blue cheese.”
“Celery doesn’t think anyone should eat moldy food, unless of course they’re homeless and have no choice. Sadly, homelessness is a big problem in the ferret community. Ever since the economy tanked people have been leaving their ferrets to fend for themselves. And they can’t just Dumpster-dive like cats and dogs do; ferrets are total food snobs.”
“I don’t have time to worry about homeless ferrets!”Theo lamented dramatically. “What if toxic mushroom spores stunt my development? I’m counting on a significant growth spurt to spread out my chunk!”
“Theo,” Madeleine said firmly, “I assure you, mushroom spores will not harm you. Your fears are wholly unfounded, scientifically speaking, so please calm down.”
“Thank you Maddie,” Theo blustered as he caught his breath.
“Now on to more pressing issues. As I’m sure you’re aware, basements are well known hideouts for spiders, especially black widows,” Madeleine said as she surveyed the shadowy corners of the room.
“Don’t worry, Maddie, we’ll be fine on the ground,” Garrison said feebly, once again looking over their dreary accommodations. “Of course, we’re sleeping under rusted pipes that could burst at any second, possibly drowning us to death in the basement of the Contrary Conservatory. But other than that there’s nothing to worry about…”
“The floor is a creepy-crawly highway, and I have absolutely no intention of putting my body in the middle of it!” Madeleine exploded, clinging hysterically to her shower cap.
Similar Books
