hasnât understood what he meant. I know exactly why he said âwere.â His boss more or less sentenced me to death this morning.
I notice that Thibault doesnât answer the young doctor, neither his excuse nor his initial question. He just nods (I assume) and leaves the room. And, with this bizarre exchange, my favorite visitor is gone again.
Some time passes before I allow myself to pay full attention to the intruder. Apparently Loris still hasnât moved. Iâm even wondering if I missed him leave, until I hear him move toward the window on my right. I donât know what he is up to. After a few moments I hear some movement and eventually I make out that he is on the phone.
âYes, itâs me⦠No⦠Lousy day, yep⦠The boss⦠Do I, depressed? Yes, a bitâ¦â
He could have answered âutterlyâ from the sound of his miserable voice. But I might be hearing wrong. Perhaps so as not to worry whoever heâs speaking to, he adds: âOh, itâs just a patient⦠Yes, on this ward. Prolonged coma⦠Her boyfriend has just left the room.â
There is your mistake, my dear house officer. Thibault is not my boyfriend; in fact weâve never even met. But I have no way of making you understand that.
âUh⦠Yes, I asked him but he didnât answer. He just kissed her on the cheek, but it was obvious that he wanted to kiss her properly. And he probably didnât dare because I was there⦠Oh, itâs OK! There are still a few more days for thatâ¦â
I block this out instantly for two reasons. The first is because Thibault gave the impression of wanting to kiss me âproperly.â The second because Loris has started sobbing. Whatâs happened to him?
âSorry, that was a terrible thing to say. But they want to unplug her! Can you imagine? I know, itâs a part of my job but⦠This is tearing me apart. Oh, wait. My beeperâs going.â
I had noticed the vibration for a little while but couldnât identify what it was.
âIâd better go⦠Yes⦠See you later⦠I love you, too.â I hear a deep sigh come from my junior doctor before he closes the door behind him. I would sigh as well, if I could.
Chapter 10
THIBAULT
I blink. The violent neon light is an excuse to avoid my motherâs gaze. Iâm back in the hospital, as though I had never left, and, for the second time in less than a week, Iâm almost happy.
Wednesday, visiting day, has been identical to Monday so far. Work, idiotic smile noticed by colleagues, the detour to go and pick up Mom, the pause in front of room 55 , her attempts to get me to go inside.
I pretend not to notice. I still have the bitter aftertaste of my semi-attempt to go in on Monday. I donât want to try again now.
And I have something much better to do.
I head to room 52 . The picture is still stuck to the door under the number. Now that Iâve heard about the accident from her friends, I doubt that Elsa is particularly fond of that glacier. I still have some difficulty understanding her passion, especially given what it has done to her.
I start to open the door and then freeze. Thereâs a voice inside, which has just stopped on hearing me turn the handle. Itâs a girlâs voice. And itâs not Rebecca from the first visit. I hear a chair being pushed back, and then the sound of hesitant steps. I let go of the handle, looking for somewhere to run. I am pathetic, I think to myself.
But whoever this person is, I have no desire to explain my reasons for being here to them. Or to tell another lie, or some noncommittal form of the truth, or to avoid speaking at all. Iâve had enough. I just wanted to come and relax for a while, in a calm place. Nobody would accept that as an explanation, though. Well, no one except Rebecca and her boyfriend. Steve didnât really seem to like it much.
The staircase is too far. The
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