don’t attend teddy bear shows?” I pretended to be offended.
Ash leaned over to kiss my cheek. “My manly-man 80
John J. Lamb
does, but not many others do. You being there could have derailed Tony’s plans.”
“Possibly, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’d have known that once the cops realized Jennifer had been poisoned, they’d begin their search for evidence in his room.”
“Why?”
“Because his priors for DV would make him an immediate and obvious suspect.”
“True.”
“Furthermore, it just doesn’t make any sense that Tony would run the risk of being seen by a hundred witnesses as he picked the inhaler up from the floor, only to take it to his room. That’s felony-stupid.”
“I agree, but how do you explain the glue they said was on his hands?”
“Again, if he went to all the trouble of developing this James Bond-quality plan, don’t you think he’d have worn gloves while sabotaging the inhaler? Besides, just before things went to hell, I overheard him telling someone that he’d repaired a broken plastic teddy bear stand earlier this morning.”
“Convenient. Maybe he was trying to establish an alibi.”
“Honey, I’m troubled by your distrustful view of your fellow creatures. Wherever could you have picked up such a deplorable tendency?”
Ash smiled sweetly. “Why, I have no idea.”
“However, I like the fact you’re thinking like a homicide detective. Mulvaney could take lessons from you.”
“Thank you.”
“But how he got glue on his hands isn’t nearly as important as this question: would Tony give Mulvaney permission to search his room if he’d just hidden the inhaler there?”
“No. That would be suicidal.”
The False-Hearted Teddy
81
“Exactly.”
“So, he didn’t know it was there?”
“And following the progression of logic, that means the real killer planted it in his room to frame him for first-degree murder. Considering he tried to do precisely the same thing to me, I find it deliciously ironic.”
“But what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean ‘nothing’?”
“Just what I said, sweetheart. Nothing, nada , zilch, zip, not happening. I have no desire to see the inside of the Baltimore City Jail and if I start meddling in this investigation, and Lieutenant BOTOX finds out, that’s exactly where I’ll end up.”
Ash frowned. “But an innocent man is going to jail for a murder he didn’t commit.”
“An innocent man who threatened to assault me yesterday, who’s also a convicted felon, and who smashed his wife up so badly that she was in the hospital for a week.
Sorry, honey, but I won’t be real upset if Tony spends a couple of days in the slammer until the Baltimore cops decide he isn’t the killer. Besides which, it’s out of our control because I’m not a cop anymore.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She pretended to watch the teddy bear aficionados as they strolled by, but only a second or two passed before she turned back to me and said,
“So, who’s the real killer?”
“Beats me.”
“And you aren’t even interested?”
“I won’t go so far as to say that.”
“And you don’t think you’d enjoy identifying the real killer before Mulvaney even knows that she’s arrested the wrong person?”
“Get thee behind me, Satan.”
“You would. Don’t deny it.”
82
John J. Lamb
“Okay, I’ll admit it would give me a great deal of unsavory pleasure to rub her nose in it by solving the case, if you’ll explain to me why you’re egging me on.”
“Because she treated us like dirt in front of everyone and all but accused you of murder. That was flat wrong and I think she needs to be taken down a peg or two.” You can always tell when Ash is genuinely angry because her normally dormant Shenandoah Valley accent becomes more pronounced.
“No argument it was wrong, but there’s nothing we can do about it unless . . . no! You aren’t suggesting
Ash leaned over to kiss my cheek. “My manly-man 80
John J. Lamb
does, but not many others do. You being there could have derailed Tony’s plans.”
“Possibly, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’d have known that once the cops realized Jennifer had been poisoned, they’d begin their search for evidence in his room.”
“Why?”
“Because his priors for DV would make him an immediate and obvious suspect.”
“True.”
“Furthermore, it just doesn’t make any sense that Tony would run the risk of being seen by a hundred witnesses as he picked the inhaler up from the floor, only to take it to his room. That’s felony-stupid.”
“I agree, but how do you explain the glue they said was on his hands?”
“Again, if he went to all the trouble of developing this James Bond-quality plan, don’t you think he’d have worn gloves while sabotaging the inhaler? Besides, just before things went to hell, I overheard him telling someone that he’d repaired a broken plastic teddy bear stand earlier this morning.”
“Convenient. Maybe he was trying to establish an alibi.”
“Honey, I’m troubled by your distrustful view of your fellow creatures. Wherever could you have picked up such a deplorable tendency?”
Ash smiled sweetly. “Why, I have no idea.”
“However, I like the fact you’re thinking like a homicide detective. Mulvaney could take lessons from you.”
“Thank you.”
“But how he got glue on his hands isn’t nearly as important as this question: would Tony give Mulvaney permission to search his room if he’d just hidden the inhaler there?”
“No. That would be suicidal.”
The False-Hearted Teddy
81
“Exactly.”
“So, he didn’t know it was there?”
“And following the progression of logic, that means the real killer planted it in his room to frame him for first-degree murder. Considering he tried to do precisely the same thing to me, I find it deliciously ironic.”
“But what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean ‘nothing’?”
“Just what I said, sweetheart. Nothing, nada , zilch, zip, not happening. I have no desire to see the inside of the Baltimore City Jail and if I start meddling in this investigation, and Lieutenant BOTOX finds out, that’s exactly where I’ll end up.”
Ash frowned. “But an innocent man is going to jail for a murder he didn’t commit.”
“An innocent man who threatened to assault me yesterday, who’s also a convicted felon, and who smashed his wife up so badly that she was in the hospital for a week.
Sorry, honey, but I won’t be real upset if Tony spends a couple of days in the slammer until the Baltimore cops decide he isn’t the killer. Besides which, it’s out of our control because I’m not a cop anymore.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She pretended to watch the teddy bear aficionados as they strolled by, but only a second or two passed before she turned back to me and said,
“So, who’s the real killer?”
“Beats me.”
“And you aren’t even interested?”
“I won’t go so far as to say that.”
“And you don’t think you’d enjoy identifying the real killer before Mulvaney even knows that she’s arrested the wrong person?”
“Get thee behind me, Satan.”
“You would. Don’t deny it.”
82
John J. Lamb
“Okay, I’ll admit it would give me a great deal of unsavory pleasure to rub her nose in it by solving the case, if you’ll explain to me why you’re egging me on.”
“Because she treated us like dirt in front of everyone and all but accused you of murder. That was flat wrong and I think she needs to be taken down a peg or two.” You can always tell when Ash is genuinely angry because her normally dormant Shenandoah Valley accent becomes more pronounced.
“No argument it was wrong, but there’s nothing we can do about it unless . . . no! You aren’t suggesting
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