respond? Yeah, you’re right, I totally like Sarah better than you ? It’s probably better if I just keep my mouth shut.
“I guess,” Six continues, “I feel shitty for kissing you while you were supposed to be with Sarah.”
“In our defense,” I say, “we did think she’d sold us out to the government.”
“It was also our first time meeting other Garde. Once that excitement was over, you were always waiting to go back to Sarah, huh?”
“It wasn’t like that at all, Six. I wasn’t thinkingahead, or biding my time, or whatever.” My mind drifts back to that moonlit walk Six and I took, holding hands so we could be invisible. “When we were together, I’m not sure I’d ever felt so comfortable with another person before. Like I could just be myself.”
For a moment, Six’s hard voice turns almost wistful. “Yeah, me too.”
“But it’s different with Sarah,” I say, gently. “I love her. I’m more sure of that now than ever before.”
Six claps her hands as if the matter is settled. “Good. So, let’s forget about it. You and I are just friends, and you and Sarah are the happy couple. I’m cool with that. All this love triangle crap makes me want to barf.”
“Six . . . ,” I start, not really sure what to say. It almost feels like she’s letting me off the hook here, or trying to push me away.
“No, listen,” Six says, cutting me off. “I’m sorry I got into your business with Sarah. Whether or not you want to tell her about us kissing is your thing. I don’t care. I just . . .” She glances over to the gas station, where Sarah is finally emerging. “When I got tossed in that cell with her, the way she talked about you—she’s given up so much to be with you, John. She’s basically betting her life on you. Maybe I’m being nosy and it isn’t my place, but I just want to make sure you’re up for that.”
“I’m trying to be,” I say to Six, and turn to watchSarah approach. What Six said rings true. I know Sarah has given up a normal life to be here with me, facing danger. I love her, but I haven’t figured out how to strike the right balance between keeping her safe and letting her be involved in my chaotic life. I might never figure that out. Right now, it’s enough that she’s here with me.
Six calls for Bernie Kosar and they get back into the car. Sarah stops in front of me, her eyebrows raised.
“Everything cool?”
I have the sudden urge to wrap her in a hug, so I do. She makes a surprised little noise and I kiss her on the cheek. She squeezes me back.
“Everything’s cool,” I say.
I take over driving when we leave the gas station. BK crawls into Sarah’s lap and paws at the window until she rolls it down. The car floods with cool spring air. BK hangs his head out the window, his beagle tongue lolling out of his mouth. I guess Chimæra or dog, it still feels good to have the wind hitting your face as you cruise down a highway.
The fresh air feels pretty good to me too. I don’t know if everything will ever be squared away between Six and me, but I feel better after our talk. At least I know where I stand now. The mood in the car has changed; there’s not as much tension hanging between the three of us. I relax a little, leaning back in my seat, watching the mile markers skip by.
Sarah gently taps my leg. “Too fast.”
I smile guiltily and slow down. Sarah has her arm out the window, her hand flat as she lets it surf across the currents of wind. Her blond hair is blown about her face wildly. She looks beautiful. For a moment, I pretend that it’s just the two of us and we’re on a road trip to someplace fun and normal. I still believe that could happen for us one day. If I didn’t, there’d be no reason to keep fighting.
Sarah meets my eyes and I swear she must read my mind. She rests her hand on my leg.
“I know we’re on a serious mission here,” Sarah says, “but what if we were just taking a regular road trip, like normal
“I guess,” Six continues, “I feel shitty for kissing you while you were supposed to be with Sarah.”
“In our defense,” I say, “we did think she’d sold us out to the government.”
“It was also our first time meeting other Garde. Once that excitement was over, you were always waiting to go back to Sarah, huh?”
“It wasn’t like that at all, Six. I wasn’t thinkingahead, or biding my time, or whatever.” My mind drifts back to that moonlit walk Six and I took, holding hands so we could be invisible. “When we were together, I’m not sure I’d ever felt so comfortable with another person before. Like I could just be myself.”
For a moment, Six’s hard voice turns almost wistful. “Yeah, me too.”
“But it’s different with Sarah,” I say, gently. “I love her. I’m more sure of that now than ever before.”
Six claps her hands as if the matter is settled. “Good. So, let’s forget about it. You and I are just friends, and you and Sarah are the happy couple. I’m cool with that. All this love triangle crap makes me want to barf.”
“Six . . . ,” I start, not really sure what to say. It almost feels like she’s letting me off the hook here, or trying to push me away.
“No, listen,” Six says, cutting me off. “I’m sorry I got into your business with Sarah. Whether or not you want to tell her about us kissing is your thing. I don’t care. I just . . .” She glances over to the gas station, where Sarah is finally emerging. “When I got tossed in that cell with her, the way she talked about you—she’s given up so much to be with you, John. She’s basically betting her life on you. Maybe I’m being nosy and it isn’t my place, but I just want to make sure you’re up for that.”
“I’m trying to be,” I say to Six, and turn to watchSarah approach. What Six said rings true. I know Sarah has given up a normal life to be here with me, facing danger. I love her, but I haven’t figured out how to strike the right balance between keeping her safe and letting her be involved in my chaotic life. I might never figure that out. Right now, it’s enough that she’s here with me.
Six calls for Bernie Kosar and they get back into the car. Sarah stops in front of me, her eyebrows raised.
“Everything cool?”
I have the sudden urge to wrap her in a hug, so I do. She makes a surprised little noise and I kiss her on the cheek. She squeezes me back.
“Everything’s cool,” I say.
I take over driving when we leave the gas station. BK crawls into Sarah’s lap and paws at the window until she rolls it down. The car floods with cool spring air. BK hangs his head out the window, his beagle tongue lolling out of his mouth. I guess Chimæra or dog, it still feels good to have the wind hitting your face as you cruise down a highway.
The fresh air feels pretty good to me too. I don’t know if everything will ever be squared away between Six and me, but I feel better after our talk. At least I know where I stand now. The mood in the car has changed; there’s not as much tension hanging between the three of us. I relax a little, leaning back in my seat, watching the mile markers skip by.
Sarah gently taps my leg. “Too fast.”
I smile guiltily and slow down. Sarah has her arm out the window, her hand flat as she lets it surf across the currents of wind. Her blond hair is blown about her face wildly. She looks beautiful. For a moment, I pretend that it’s just the two of us and we’re on a road trip to someplace fun and normal. I still believe that could happen for us one day. If I didn’t, there’d be no reason to keep fighting.
Sarah meets my eyes and I swear she must read my mind. She rests her hand on my leg.
“I know we’re on a serious mission here,” Sarah says, “but what if we were just taking a regular road trip, like normal
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