The Fall by Claire Merle Page A

his parents had this big Christmas party. I used to see him there once a year, but we didn’t have much to do with each other until he sent me a binding invitation. And even then, Pure girls and guys don’t hang out together until they’re actually bound.’
    She squeezed her hands around her hot bowl, remembering how she’d anticipated the Taurell’s Christmas party just before her fifteenth birthday with lovesick longing. How she had decided she wouldn’t leave the party until she had talked to Jasper, and found him sitting on the servant stairs at the back of the house with a girl from the year above her at school, their hands fastened together with the binding scarf. She’d been devastated. Before Cole, Jasper was the only boy she’d ever cared for.
    ‘So you always really liked him?’ Cole prompted.
    ‘Yes.’ She looked up. It was hard to decipher what Cole thought about that. ‘I wouldn’t have let Jasper go through with the binding, given up so much for me, if I didn’t.’
    Cole smiled, but a muscle in his eye twitched. Perhaps talking about their exes wasn’t a good idea. She certainly didn’t want to know the ins and outs of his relationship with Rachel.
    ‘Didn’t Jasper try anything . . . you know, when you went back to him after the joining?’
    A memory leapt into Ana’s head, one she didn’t want to think about it, especially not in front of Cole. She ducked her head and studied her soup. In her mind’s eye, she was back in the Taurell mansion, her fourth night after the joining. She’d jolted awake to the sounds of Jasper’s howling and shouting and had crept down to the hall to his room. She’d woken him gently, the way she’d done every night since she’d been there. He opened his eyes wide, reality taking a moment to sink in. His choked breathing softened. The shaking in his hands began to lessen.
    ‘Don’t you ever sleep?’ he’d asked. She shrugged. He reached out and twisted a strand of her hair between his fingers. She wanted to move away but she felt guilty. Each morning when the Board came to see how she was ‘adjusting’ she would pretend that she and Jasper were a couple. Jasper played along, no questions asked. As soon as the Board left, she retreated into her piano playing or disappeared to the pool for a couple of hours. These night-time visits were the only time she sought out Jasper without an ulterior motive. And so far he’d made no demands.
    ‘I’m remembering more and more,’ Jasper said. ‘I remember the night of the concert after we were bound. I walked out on you.’ He stroked a finger across the top of her hand. ‘But you still came after me.’
    Ana’s chest clenched. Did Jasper think deep down, beneath all the lies and confusion and betrayals, that she was in love with him? She wanted to get up, but something froze her to the spot. He had a right to know it was over.
    ‘Ana,’ he said softly. He stretched forward on the bed, stroked back the hair curtaining her face, touched his lips to hers. When she didn’t respond, he pulled away.
    ‘Sorry.’ Her voice was rough with self-reproach. ‘This isn’t real, Jasper. You and me. When I was outside in the City . . . I met someone. I’m sorry.’ She stood up, and never returned to his room again.
    Ana sipped her soup. Cole’s probing gaze made her flush.
    ‘Jasper kissed me,’ she said, trying to sound matter-of-fact about it. ‘Just once. I didn’t kiss him back.’
    A dark shadow scudded over Cole’s eyes, disappearing so quickly, Ana wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘He’d have been crazy not to have at least tried.’
    ‘Did Rachel try?’ The question shot out before she’d had time to bite it back.
    ‘Nah,’ Cole said. ‘Rachel’s more likely to try strangling me than kissing me.’
    ‘She came last night.’
    Cole pressed his lips together. ‘OK,’ he said, ‘you wanna know about Rachel. Go ahead, ask any question you like. It’s only fair.