perfect little pussy again, and it would be that much sweeter for the waiting.
Sarina was in my head, no doubt, and that was pretty fucking unexpected. There was something else growing alongside that buildup of lust, something that made her worth more than all the other girls combined. I wasn’t going to give it the power of a name, but every moment with her was feeding it.
I should have cut it off with her as soon as I realized that, but I couldn’t do it. That unnamed thing was inside of me like a nuclear bomb attached to my heart saying, “Don’t fuck with me, cause I’ll hurt you real bad.”
She had no place in my life, the destiny I was working toward. Her soul was too kind to be partnered with the type of man I was going to be, but being near it made me remember beautiful things. Sometimes I would drift off, listening to the cadence of her voice even more than the words themselves.
That’s why, after only a few weeks of knowing her, I had something to ask her that I hadn’t asked anybody in over a decade, because I was never remotely sure that I could make the commitment the question required. Holy fuck, what was I thinking?
“Sarina?”
“Hmmm?”
She’d been bent over, looking at my movie collection, and as she stood up straight again, the hem of my shirt she was wearing lowered with her movement, covering her ass again. This plan was already backfiring.
“Come here, would ya?” I patted the couch next to me.
Sarina cradled her cup of coffee in her hands and came over with a quizzical look in her beautiful blue eyes. I took the cup from her hands when she sat down, and put it on the coffee table, then held her hands in mine.
I was on the verge of breaking out in a cold sweat, which was almost as unbelievable as what I was about to say. The Acardis’ lives were cheap to me, but they were still lives, and yet it seemed like taking them was going to be a lot easier than asking this one simple question.
“So, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I haven’t been seeing anybody else since I met you. The thing is… I don’t really want to either… uh… so I was thinking, maybe, it might be an idea, you know to make it… official?”
Sarina’s eyes went wide, showing a whole bunch of white around the blue, and her bottom lip quivered a few times as she tried to remember the English language.
“Official?” she squeaked.
“Yeah. As far as a friendship goes, the benefits in this one are pretty great… but I want more.”
“More?” she parroted.
It was pretty blatant that she was even more intimidated by this conversation than I was. Fuck she was adorable, I couldn’t help but smile, feeling a potentially misplaced sense of control flow back into me.
“How about I call you my girlfriend, and you can call me your boyfriend?” I said.
Sarina looked like she was about to cry. “I can’t.”
The smile dropped from my face as if it suddenly weighed too much to hold up. “But… why not?”
She floundered for a second. “Because… I don’t think you’re being honest with me.”
“About what?”
Sarina took a deep breath. “There’s been something bothering me… like… I don’t know how to say it.”
“Just ask, Sarina.”
“I’ve never felt like this about anybody , Ryan. That’s the truth.” She cast her eyes down for a moment, trying to hide what I was sure was a flash of bitterness, then looked up again. “I’ve been kind of pushing this… stuff… down while we’ve been… doing whatever it is we’ve been doing, but if you want to be with me, like really be with me, you need to tell me the truth.”
“About what ?” I repeated.
“That first night in the club, I saw some… things. I noticed you come in, but it seemed like a lot of people did. There were some men that came up to you, gave you some money, and then you gave them something. They didn’t look like the kind of guys who used moisturizing cream or lipstick. Then there was the fight with the
Sarina was in my head, no doubt, and that was pretty fucking unexpected. There was something else growing alongside that buildup of lust, something that made her worth more than all the other girls combined. I wasn’t going to give it the power of a name, but every moment with her was feeding it.
I should have cut it off with her as soon as I realized that, but I couldn’t do it. That unnamed thing was inside of me like a nuclear bomb attached to my heart saying, “Don’t fuck with me, cause I’ll hurt you real bad.”
She had no place in my life, the destiny I was working toward. Her soul was too kind to be partnered with the type of man I was going to be, but being near it made me remember beautiful things. Sometimes I would drift off, listening to the cadence of her voice even more than the words themselves.
That’s why, after only a few weeks of knowing her, I had something to ask her that I hadn’t asked anybody in over a decade, because I was never remotely sure that I could make the commitment the question required. Holy fuck, what was I thinking?
“Sarina?”
“Hmmm?”
She’d been bent over, looking at my movie collection, and as she stood up straight again, the hem of my shirt she was wearing lowered with her movement, covering her ass again. This plan was already backfiring.
“Come here, would ya?” I patted the couch next to me.
Sarina cradled her cup of coffee in her hands and came over with a quizzical look in her beautiful blue eyes. I took the cup from her hands when she sat down, and put it on the coffee table, then held her hands in mine.
I was on the verge of breaking out in a cold sweat, which was almost as unbelievable as what I was about to say. The Acardis’ lives were cheap to me, but they were still lives, and yet it seemed like taking them was going to be a lot easier than asking this one simple question.
“So, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I haven’t been seeing anybody else since I met you. The thing is… I don’t really want to either… uh… so I was thinking, maybe, it might be an idea, you know to make it… official?”
Sarina’s eyes went wide, showing a whole bunch of white around the blue, and her bottom lip quivered a few times as she tried to remember the English language.
“Official?” she squeaked.
“Yeah. As far as a friendship goes, the benefits in this one are pretty great… but I want more.”
“More?” she parroted.
It was pretty blatant that she was even more intimidated by this conversation than I was. Fuck she was adorable, I couldn’t help but smile, feeling a potentially misplaced sense of control flow back into me.
“How about I call you my girlfriend, and you can call me your boyfriend?” I said.
Sarina looked like she was about to cry. “I can’t.”
The smile dropped from my face as if it suddenly weighed too much to hold up. “But… why not?”
She floundered for a second. “Because… I don’t think you’re being honest with me.”
“About what?”
Sarina took a deep breath. “There’s been something bothering me… like… I don’t know how to say it.”
“Just ask, Sarina.”
“I’ve never felt like this about anybody , Ryan. That’s the truth.” She cast her eyes down for a moment, trying to hide what I was sure was a flash of bitterness, then looked up again. “I’ve been kind of pushing this… stuff… down while we’ve been… doing whatever it is we’ve been doing, but if you want to be with me, like really be with me, you need to tell me the truth.”
“About what ?” I repeated.
“That first night in the club, I saw some… things. I noticed you come in, but it seemed like a lot of people did. There were some men that came up to you, gave you some money, and then you gave them something. They didn’t look like the kind of guys who used moisturizing cream or lipstick. Then there was the fight with the
Similar Books
