flirting and laughing together just like in the commercial. My stomach tightened. The clock ticked off the wall above the couch. I felt a surge of profound sadness. The four walls offered no conversation.
I checked the time. It was ten minutes to seven. What was Alexandra doing on her Saturday night? With her work done for the week, she was no doubt indulging herself. I imagined Alexandra reclining in a chair and having her toenails done while she turned the pages of the latest Glamour magazine.
I hadn’t talked to the woman since the airport in San Francisco. At the time I never wanted to see her again, but never was a fickle word. Now my thoughts tumbled like damp towels in a dryer. On an insane impulse, I dialed Alexandra’s number.
She picked up on the fifth ring. “Hi, Nico,” she said. “You guys OK?” She sounded bored. Preoccupied.
“We’re fine. We had a good week. Did Johnny talk to you?”
“He did. He sounds quite happy. He said he met a nice girl.” There was an awkward pause. I could hear her talking to someone in the background.
“Did I interrupt something?”
“I’m sitting at Claire’s Salon. I’m getting my toenails done.”
Bingo. My intuition was unfailing. There was another long pause. “Is Johnny with you right now?” she said. “He forgot to call me today.”
She had nothing to say to me, so the requested substitution of Johnny for Nico was understandable. Alas, I had to disappoint her. “Johnny went out for the night.”
“Good for him. What are you doing on your Saturday night in nowheresville?”
“I’m hanging out. Watching TV.”
“No news there. Same old Nico. Watching TV while the rest of the world frolics.”
Fuck you , I thought to myself. “Can you go two minutes without cutting me down?” I said.
“I’m not criticizing you. I’m just the play-by-play announcer, calling it like it is. Who can blame you for staying inside? What is it, fifty below zero up there when the sun goes down? I could never live there in a million years. It’s unbelievable how different you and I are right now.”
I crushed my empty beer can in my fist. She was a champion at poking me with a stick until I snarled. I had no desire to engage in negative dialogue, but she pushed on. “I’ve had a great week. I’m a complete person when you’re not here, Nico. You and I are better off apart.”
“Who is he?”
“There’s no one person. I have a lot of friends who enjoy my company. We’ve had a dead marriage for a long time. I’m in the prime of my life. I need more from a man than I got from you. Stay where you are, Nico. We’re both better off.”
She was determined to make me eat shit and die, all before the toenail polish dried. I was getting more irate by the minute. I glared at what was now an irrelevant hockey game, and hated Alexandra more than ever. “I don’t know what to say to you right now,” I said. “I don’t even know why I called you.”
“I don’t know why either. Tell Johnny I miss him. Have fun up there. Bye.” The phone clicked off, and I stared at the television.
Have fun up there , indeed.
On the television, ten young men skated in circles. Thousands of adults screamed and cheered them on. Who cares? I thought. Who the fuck cares? I’d known for a long time that my marriage was a disaster, but now it was worse than ever. I wanted Alexandra to miss me after I left. Instead she’d inhaled toenail polish and concluded her husband should stay away forever.
I circled Dom’s basement floor like a hungry tiger in a cage. I couldn’t stay there alone for another minute. I switched off the television, threw on my polar weather gear, and headed to the street. A thousand stars jumped out of a jet-black sky. I picked up a chunk of frozen snow and hurled it at the stop sign on 21st Street. The chunk hit the O with a resounding clang. I was twelve years old again, throwing snowballs to my Minnesota Twins teammates, posing as the stop signs of
I checked the time. It was ten minutes to seven. What was Alexandra doing on her Saturday night? With her work done for the week, she was no doubt indulging herself. I imagined Alexandra reclining in a chair and having her toenails done while she turned the pages of the latest Glamour magazine.
I hadn’t talked to the woman since the airport in San Francisco. At the time I never wanted to see her again, but never was a fickle word. Now my thoughts tumbled like damp towels in a dryer. On an insane impulse, I dialed Alexandra’s number.
She picked up on the fifth ring. “Hi, Nico,” she said. “You guys OK?” She sounded bored. Preoccupied.
“We’re fine. We had a good week. Did Johnny talk to you?”
“He did. He sounds quite happy. He said he met a nice girl.” There was an awkward pause. I could hear her talking to someone in the background.
“Did I interrupt something?”
“I’m sitting at Claire’s Salon. I’m getting my toenails done.”
Bingo. My intuition was unfailing. There was another long pause. “Is Johnny with you right now?” she said. “He forgot to call me today.”
She had nothing to say to me, so the requested substitution of Johnny for Nico was understandable. Alas, I had to disappoint her. “Johnny went out for the night.”
“Good for him. What are you doing on your Saturday night in nowheresville?”
“I’m hanging out. Watching TV.”
“No news there. Same old Nico. Watching TV while the rest of the world frolics.”
Fuck you , I thought to myself. “Can you go two minutes without cutting me down?” I said.
“I’m not criticizing you. I’m just the play-by-play announcer, calling it like it is. Who can blame you for staying inside? What is it, fifty below zero up there when the sun goes down? I could never live there in a million years. It’s unbelievable how different you and I are right now.”
I crushed my empty beer can in my fist. She was a champion at poking me with a stick until I snarled. I had no desire to engage in negative dialogue, but she pushed on. “I’ve had a great week. I’m a complete person when you’re not here, Nico. You and I are better off apart.”
“Who is he?”
“There’s no one person. I have a lot of friends who enjoy my company. We’ve had a dead marriage for a long time. I’m in the prime of my life. I need more from a man than I got from you. Stay where you are, Nico. We’re both better off.”
She was determined to make me eat shit and die, all before the toenail polish dried. I was getting more irate by the minute. I glared at what was now an irrelevant hockey game, and hated Alexandra more than ever. “I don’t know what to say to you right now,” I said. “I don’t even know why I called you.”
“I don’t know why either. Tell Johnny I miss him. Have fun up there. Bye.” The phone clicked off, and I stared at the television.
Have fun up there , indeed.
On the television, ten young men skated in circles. Thousands of adults screamed and cheered them on. Who cares? I thought. Who the fuck cares? I’d known for a long time that my marriage was a disaster, but now it was worse than ever. I wanted Alexandra to miss me after I left. Instead she’d inhaled toenail polish and concluded her husband should stay away forever.
I circled Dom’s basement floor like a hungry tiger in a cage. I couldn’t stay there alone for another minute. I switched off the television, threw on my polar weather gear, and headed to the street. A thousand stars jumped out of a jet-black sky. I picked up a chunk of frozen snow and hurled it at the stop sign on 21st Street. The chunk hit the O with a resounding clang. I was twelve years old again, throwing snowballs to my Minnesota Twins teammates, posing as the stop signs of
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