fucked with the wrong broad. Payback’s a bitch, Humpington!”
“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.
“Oh, I think you do.” She linked arms with Ollie and they marched up to her house as the dogs and I led the way. When Nana reached the top stair, she looked back over her shoulder at the neighbor and slapped her rear a couple times before going inside.
Nana said, “If Humpington got his shorts in a bunch over a couple harmless little dicks in a balloon display, just wait. He’s about to have cocks up the ass!”
Nana, Ollie and I spent the next hour making plans and calling in reinforcements, and Cockstock was born.
*****
“Are you seriously getting paid for this?” Zachary asked as he dropped into the lounge chair beside mine and I handed him a big, pink, dick-shaped water bottle. It was the following Saturday afternoon, and I’d spent the better part of the week at Cockstock. I’d been appointed supervisor, since Nana and Ollie were busy planning the wedding and helping Christopher Robin put together his masquerade ball/new artists show.
“Basically. I’ve always been salaried, with the understanding that I help out where needed. This week, I’m needed in Peen Paradise.”
“Where exactly did you find that shirt?”
I was wearing a yellow t-shirt that said, ‘Got Cock?’ but he was probably referring to the Hawaiian shirt I wore over it, which was bright red with a repeating pattern of smiling, cartoon cocks wearing leis and dancing the hula. “At a shop in the Castro. Almost everything they carry is penis-themed. Mr. Mario and I cleaned out half their inventory.”
Zachary took a sip of the cocktail in the water bottle and said, “This is good. What is it?”
“Peen-a Colada.” I grinned at him when he shot me a look and said, “Once the dick theme was established, Nana ran with it.”
“I can see that.” The front yard was designed to drive Nana’s homophobic, dick-hating neighbor completely batty. Every balloon penis pillar from Valentine’s Day graced the yard (they were holding up fairly well, though a couple looked like they could use a shot of Viagra). Strands of colorful penis lights hung from the palm trees, and dozens of rainbow-colored dildos were lined up all along the top of the waist-high wrought iron fence which fronted the lawn. The piece de resistance though was the ‘fucking bronco’. Nana had found a mechanical bull shaped like a great, big penis at a party rental shop, and had it placed front and center in the yard.
To make sure nobody tampered with the display (or dicksplay, as we’d taken to calling it), she’d also hired every out-of-work go-go boy in the city to dance in the yard in ten-man shifts around the clock, both to add to the festivities and to keep an eye on things. Nana had told them they could wear whatever they wanted, but the vast majority had opted for the go-go boy uniform of sexy briefs in various styles and colors. They all seemed enthusiastic about the gig, not just because Nana was paying them generously, feeding them, and keeping the booze flowing, but because it was a damn good time.
The neighbor was continually red-faced and on the verge of blowing like Krakatoa every time he set foot outside. He’d thought of a dozen different reasons to call the cops on us over the course of the week, but we weren’t breaking any laws. The music was kept down to make sure we weren’t violating the noise ordinance, and even though showing an actual dick in public was verboten, phallic objects were A-OK.
When Zachary arrived, the fucking bronco was being ridden slowly and suggestively by two go-go boys who happened to be a couple. They were making out and putting on quite a show for the neighbor (and for the tourists who kept stopping by to take pictures). Five dancers were shaking their booties around the yard, and the rest were taking a break and flirting with each other while they cooled down with some
“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.
“Oh, I think you do.” She linked arms with Ollie and they marched up to her house as the dogs and I led the way. When Nana reached the top stair, she looked back over her shoulder at the neighbor and slapped her rear a couple times before going inside.
Nana said, “If Humpington got his shorts in a bunch over a couple harmless little dicks in a balloon display, just wait. He’s about to have cocks up the ass!”
Nana, Ollie and I spent the next hour making plans and calling in reinforcements, and Cockstock was born.
*****
“Are you seriously getting paid for this?” Zachary asked as he dropped into the lounge chair beside mine and I handed him a big, pink, dick-shaped water bottle. It was the following Saturday afternoon, and I’d spent the better part of the week at Cockstock. I’d been appointed supervisor, since Nana and Ollie were busy planning the wedding and helping Christopher Robin put together his masquerade ball/new artists show.
“Basically. I’ve always been salaried, with the understanding that I help out where needed. This week, I’m needed in Peen Paradise.”
“Where exactly did you find that shirt?”
I was wearing a yellow t-shirt that said, ‘Got Cock?’ but he was probably referring to the Hawaiian shirt I wore over it, which was bright red with a repeating pattern of smiling, cartoon cocks wearing leis and dancing the hula. “At a shop in the Castro. Almost everything they carry is penis-themed. Mr. Mario and I cleaned out half their inventory.”
Zachary took a sip of the cocktail in the water bottle and said, “This is good. What is it?”
“Peen-a Colada.” I grinned at him when he shot me a look and said, “Once the dick theme was established, Nana ran with it.”
“I can see that.” The front yard was designed to drive Nana’s homophobic, dick-hating neighbor completely batty. Every balloon penis pillar from Valentine’s Day graced the yard (they were holding up fairly well, though a couple looked like they could use a shot of Viagra). Strands of colorful penis lights hung from the palm trees, and dozens of rainbow-colored dildos were lined up all along the top of the waist-high wrought iron fence which fronted the lawn. The piece de resistance though was the ‘fucking bronco’. Nana had found a mechanical bull shaped like a great, big penis at a party rental shop, and had it placed front and center in the yard.
To make sure nobody tampered with the display (or dicksplay, as we’d taken to calling it), she’d also hired every out-of-work go-go boy in the city to dance in the yard in ten-man shifts around the clock, both to add to the festivities and to keep an eye on things. Nana had told them they could wear whatever they wanted, but the vast majority had opted for the go-go boy uniform of sexy briefs in various styles and colors. They all seemed enthusiastic about the gig, not just because Nana was paying them generously, feeding them, and keeping the booze flowing, but because it was a damn good time.
The neighbor was continually red-faced and on the verge of blowing like Krakatoa every time he set foot outside. He’d thought of a dozen different reasons to call the cops on us over the course of the week, but we weren’t breaking any laws. The music was kept down to make sure we weren’t violating the noise ordinance, and even though showing an actual dick in public was verboten, phallic objects were A-OK.
When Zachary arrived, the fucking bronco was being ridden slowly and suggestively by two go-go boys who happened to be a couple. They were making out and putting on quite a show for the neighbor (and for the tourists who kept stopping by to take pictures). Five dancers were shaking their booties around the yard, and the rest were taking a break and flirting with each other while they cooled down with some
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