in touch as long as I put you on the plane, but all I’ve had is silence for nearly two months—zilch…00000000—until a miserly 15-word email 2 hrs ago. I’m so damned angry with you. I’ve been sick to my stomach with worry since you left.
FYI: I’ve been bombarding London for info, only to be told they know less than I do. Harry Smith had to ask a colleague on a tabloid for your parents’ address because your next-of-kin details are out of date. All your father will say is that you’re “out of London” and he’s passing on messages. So why haven’t you answered any of them? Where are you? What’s going on? Have you seen a doctor? I wouldn’t have kept my mouth shut if I thought you were planning to deal with this on your own. Have you any idea of the stick I’m getting?
I assume you used my private address to avoid the office finding out. Well, OK, except you’ve told me nothing apart from your new e-address and the fact that you’re “fine.” I can’t/don’t believe that. You must talk to someone. London had a counsellor lined up for you—they were willing to give you all the protection you wanted—but you blew them away. Why? Don’t you realize what the consequences are likely to be? I still have nightmares about Bob Lerwick being shot in front of me, and that was ten years ago.
At the moment I’m beating myself up for not forcing you to accept help here. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it quiet, but now…
It’s turning into a hell of a mess, frankly. I’ve been interviewed three times by a cynical US cop working with the Baghdad police (Jerry Greenhough) who’s concluded the whole “abduction” was a scam. He seems to think you’re planning to demand huge sums in compensation or write a best-selling “fiction” about something that never happened.
Write to me, Connie. Better still, phone. My number’s the same.
Love, Dan
Extracts from notes, filed as “CB16–19/05/04”
…Obedience comes quite easily after a while. Do this. Do that. Inside my head, I rebelled. If you let me live, then you will die. It was a way of staying sane…
…The truth was different. You belong to me. You die when I say so. You speak what I tell you to speak. You smile when I tell you to smile…
…At what point did I decide to be controlled forever? When I realized that every shameful thing I did was being videoed? Why didn’t I refuse? Was death by suffocation so bad that I’m prepared to live like this?
…There were no marks that would say what had happened. I bled inside but not outside…
…I’m lucky. I’m alive. I did what I was told…
From:
[email protected]
Sent:
Mon 19/07/04 17:22
To:
[email protected]
Subject:
Keith MacKenzie
Attachments:
AC/WF.doc (53KB)
----
Good to hear from you, Connie. After your release, I tried to contact you via your mobile and old address but without success, so presumably some thief in Baghdad has them? I was shocked to read about your abduction, particularly as it happened so shortly after your email in May re MacKenzie. You say there was no connection between the two events, but, yes, you’re quite right, I did wonder. To the extent that I contacted Bill Fraser in Basra and suggested he look into it. In the event, you reappeared, unharmed, before he was able to take it further.
You say your boss in Baghdad is interested in picking up the O’Connell/MacKenzie story where you had to leave it. I’m attaching my correspondence with Bill in full, as you requested, although some of it may not make pleasant reading for you. Bill tells me the situation in Baghdad is out of control. Foreigners have become a commodity, with most abductions being carried out by professional gangs who sell their hostages on to the highest bidder. As you say, you were “fortunate” to be released when you were.
As you will see, Bill has spoken to his US
FYI: I’ve been bombarding London for info, only to be told they know less than I do. Harry Smith had to ask a colleague on a tabloid for your parents’ address because your next-of-kin details are out of date. All your father will say is that you’re “out of London” and he’s passing on messages. So why haven’t you answered any of them? Where are you? What’s going on? Have you seen a doctor? I wouldn’t have kept my mouth shut if I thought you were planning to deal with this on your own. Have you any idea of the stick I’m getting?
I assume you used my private address to avoid the office finding out. Well, OK, except you’ve told me nothing apart from your new e-address and the fact that you’re “fine.” I can’t/don’t believe that. You must talk to someone. London had a counsellor lined up for you—they were willing to give you all the protection you wanted—but you blew them away. Why? Don’t you realize what the consequences are likely to be? I still have nightmares about Bob Lerwick being shot in front of me, and that was ten years ago.
At the moment I’m beating myself up for not forcing you to accept help here. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it quiet, but now…
It’s turning into a hell of a mess, frankly. I’ve been interviewed three times by a cynical US cop working with the Baghdad police (Jerry Greenhough) who’s concluded the whole “abduction” was a scam. He seems to think you’re planning to demand huge sums in compensation or write a best-selling “fiction” about something that never happened.
Write to me, Connie. Better still, phone. My number’s the same.
Love, Dan
Extracts from notes, filed as “CB16–19/05/04”
…Obedience comes quite easily after a while. Do this. Do that. Inside my head, I rebelled. If you let me live, then you will die. It was a way of staying sane…
…The truth was different. You belong to me. You die when I say so. You speak what I tell you to speak. You smile when I tell you to smile…
…At what point did I decide to be controlled forever? When I realized that every shameful thing I did was being videoed? Why didn’t I refuse? Was death by suffocation so bad that I’m prepared to live like this?
…There were no marks that would say what had happened. I bled inside but not outside…
…I’m lucky. I’m alive. I did what I was told…
From:
[email protected]
Sent:
Mon 19/07/04 17:22
To:
[email protected]
Subject:
Keith MacKenzie
Attachments:
AC/WF.doc (53KB)
----
Good to hear from you, Connie. After your release, I tried to contact you via your mobile and old address but without success, so presumably some thief in Baghdad has them? I was shocked to read about your abduction, particularly as it happened so shortly after your email in May re MacKenzie. You say there was no connection between the two events, but, yes, you’re quite right, I did wonder. To the extent that I contacted Bill Fraser in Basra and suggested he look into it. In the event, you reappeared, unharmed, before he was able to take it further.
You say your boss in Baghdad is interested in picking up the O’Connell/MacKenzie story where you had to leave it. I’m attaching my correspondence with Bill in full, as you requested, although some of it may not make pleasant reading for you. Bill tells me the situation in Baghdad is out of control. Foreigners have become a commodity, with most abductions being carried out by professional gangs who sell their hostages on to the highest bidder. As you say, you were “fortunate” to be released when you were.
As you will see, Bill has spoken to his US
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