the old man was pacing me, looking straight ahead, a piece of dried grass in his stained teeth.
âItâs been a long time,â he said, quietly.
We walked along in the twilight.
âA long time,â he said, âwaitinâ on that station platform.â
âYou?â I said.
âMe.â He nodded in the tree shadows.
âWere you waiting for someone at the station?â
âYes,â he said. âYou.â
âMe?â The surprise must have shown in my voice. âBut why â¦? You never saw me before in your life.â
âDid I say I did? I just said I was waitinâ.â
We were on the edge of town now. He had turned and I had turned with him along the darkening river-bank towards the trestle where the night trains ran over going east, going west, but stopping rare few times.
âYou want to know anything about me?â I asked, suddenly. âYou the sheriff?â
âNo, not the sheriff. And no, I donât want to know nothinâ about you.â He put his hands in his pockets. The sun was set now. The air was suddenly cool. âIâm just surprised youâre here at last, is all.â
âSurprised?â
âSurprised,â he said, âand ⦠pleased.â
I stopped abruptly and looked straight at him.
âHow long have you been sitting on that station platform?â
âTwenty years, give or take a few.â
I knew he was telling the truth; his voice was as easy and quiet as the river.
âWaiting for me?â I said.
âOr someone like you,â he said.
We walked on in the growing dark.
âHow you like our town?â
âNice, quiet,â I said.
âNice, quiet.â He nodded. âLike the people?â
âPeople look nice and quiet.â
âThey are,â he said. âNice, quiet.â
I was ready to turn back but the old man kept talking and in order to listen and be polite I had to walk with him in the vaster darkness, the tides of field and meadow beyond town.
âYes,â said the old man, âthe day I retired, twenty years ago, I sat down on that station platform and there I been, sittinâ doinâ nothinâ, waitinâ for something to happen, I didnât know what, I didnât know. I couldnât say. But when it finally happened, Iâd know it, Iâd look at it and say, Yes, sir, thatâs what I was wait-inâ for. Train wreck? No. Old woman friend come back to town after fifty years? No. No. Itâs hard to say. Someone. Something. And it seems to have something to do with you. I wish I could tell ââ
âWhy donât you try?â I said.
The stars were coming out. We walked on.
âWell,â he said, slowly, âyou know much about your own in-sides?â
âYou mean my stomach or you mean psychologically?â
âThatâs the word. I mean your head, your brain, you know much about that ?â
The grass whispered under my feet. âA little.â
âYou hate many people in your time?â
âSome.â
âWe all do. Itâs normal enough to hate, ainât it, and not only hate but, while we donât talk about it, donât we sometimes want to hit people who hurt us, even kill them?â
âHardly a week passes we donât get that feeling,â I said, âand put it away.â
âWe put away all our lives,â he said. âThe town says thus and so, mom and dad say this and that, the law says such and such. So you put away one killing and another and two more after that. By the time youâre my age, you got lots of that kind of stuff between your ears. And unless you went to war, nothinâ ever happened to get rid of it.â
âSome men trap-shoot, or hunt ducks,â I said. âSome men box or wrestle.â
âAnd some donât. Iâm talkinâ about them that donât. Me. All my life Iâve been
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