you, Jillian. I won’t.”
He reached for her again, and again she tried to fight, but in a moment his arms were around her and she couldn’t get away. She struggled in his grasp, but the tears were starting again, making her weak. It hurt so much! She couldn’t bear to feel so much at once. Cam’s embrace was too warm. There was too much love there. She couldn’t stand what she was doing to him.
He held her tight. “Baby, baby, no. Come on, let me hold you. I love you, Jillian.”
She went still in his arms, too tired now to fight. But the tears poured down her face, her mind a mass of confusion.
“We can get through this, honey. You don’t have to do this alone anymore. Not if you let me be there with you.”
She sniffed, wiped her face with a corner of the quilt. “How can you not hate me?”
“It wasn’t your fault. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You didn’t lose the baby because you wished it away. You lost it because that was the way it was meant to be. And if it’s just the two of us for the rest of our lives, then that’s okay. As long as I have you, I have everything.”
“You deserve more, Cam. You deserve better.”
“I don’t want anything but you. If I haven’t made you feel that, then that’s my fault, not yours.” He held her face in his strong, warm hands. “Be with me, Jillian. You’re all I want.”
She heard the sincerity in his voice. Saw it in his eyes. And something about it made her heart open up, but this time it felt good. She let her body relax and leaned into him. Relief washed over her in a warm tide as his words hit home.
“I thought I had to let you go, Cam.”
“Never. We’ll never lose each other again. I promise you that.”
His gray gaze was more intense than it had ever been, and she saw the pure emotion there. And suddenly she understood.
“You’ve been carrying some guilt, too.”
He looked surprised for a moment, then said simply, “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I couldn’t fix it for you.”
“Oh, Cam.” She slid a hand around the back of his neck. His skin was warm there. “Nobody else could fix this.”
“I know that. But still, it was my responsibility. And I failed.”
She could see how hard it was for him to say that, and she knew why. “You’re not your father, Cam.”
“I’m no better than he was if I let you down.”
“But you never did.” How was it possible that he thought he had? He’d always been there for her. She was the one who had turned her back on their marriage. And he was the one who kept fighting so hard to get it back. And they had, she realized. Why had she thought it was over?
“Cam, I love you so much.”
His tight features softened. “Then come home with me. Let’s keep trying. I need you with me, Jillian.”
“I need you, too. I can’t do this without you. I don’t know why I ever thought I could.”
He leaned in and kissed her with that lush mouth of his, and the warm safety of his love swept through her. They would get through this. Together. And for some reason, that knowledge made her feel stronger than she had in a long time. Stronger than ever before.
“Let’s go home, Cam.”
CHAPTER ONE
T HE SUN WAS JUST SETTING IN A BLAZE OF orange and pink flame as Cassandra drove along the Pacific Coast Highway. Her hands tight on the steering wheel, she scanned the street signs, looking for her turnoff into the Pacific Palisades area of the Malibu hills.
There it was, Pacific Crest Road. She made a right turn and wove her way up the narrow, twisting lane. Million-dollar homes up there, with million-dollar views of the ocean. But she wasn’t thinking about any of that right now. She was thinking only of why she was there. Of what would happen to her on her first visit to Master Robert’s home.
Training house, she corrected herself. Her sex gave an involuntary squeeze.
She flashed back to the first time she’d seen his ad on the Internet site
He reached for her again, and again she tried to fight, but in a moment his arms were around her and she couldn’t get away. She struggled in his grasp, but the tears were starting again, making her weak. It hurt so much! She couldn’t bear to feel so much at once. Cam’s embrace was too warm. There was too much love there. She couldn’t stand what she was doing to him.
He held her tight. “Baby, baby, no. Come on, let me hold you. I love you, Jillian.”
She went still in his arms, too tired now to fight. But the tears poured down her face, her mind a mass of confusion.
“We can get through this, honey. You don’t have to do this alone anymore. Not if you let me be there with you.”
She sniffed, wiped her face with a corner of the quilt. “How can you not hate me?”
“It wasn’t your fault. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You didn’t lose the baby because you wished it away. You lost it because that was the way it was meant to be. And if it’s just the two of us for the rest of our lives, then that’s okay. As long as I have you, I have everything.”
“You deserve more, Cam. You deserve better.”
“I don’t want anything but you. If I haven’t made you feel that, then that’s my fault, not yours.” He held her face in his strong, warm hands. “Be with me, Jillian. You’re all I want.”
She heard the sincerity in his voice. Saw it in his eyes. And something about it made her heart open up, but this time it felt good. She let her body relax and leaned into him. Relief washed over her in a warm tide as his words hit home.
“I thought I had to let you go, Cam.”
“Never. We’ll never lose each other again. I promise you that.”
His gray gaze was more intense than it had ever been, and she saw the pure emotion there. And suddenly she understood.
“You’ve been carrying some guilt, too.”
He looked surprised for a moment, then said simply, “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I couldn’t fix it for you.”
“Oh, Cam.” She slid a hand around the back of his neck. His skin was warm there. “Nobody else could fix this.”
“I know that. But still, it was my responsibility. And I failed.”
She could see how hard it was for him to say that, and she knew why. “You’re not your father, Cam.”
“I’m no better than he was if I let you down.”
“But you never did.” How was it possible that he thought he had? He’d always been there for her. She was the one who had turned her back on their marriage. And he was the one who kept fighting so hard to get it back. And they had, she realized. Why had she thought it was over?
“Cam, I love you so much.”
His tight features softened. “Then come home with me. Let’s keep trying. I need you with me, Jillian.”
“I need you, too. I can’t do this without you. I don’t know why I ever thought I could.”
He leaned in and kissed her with that lush mouth of his, and the warm safety of his love swept through her. They would get through this. Together. And for some reason, that knowledge made her feel stronger than she had in a long time. Stronger than ever before.
“Let’s go home, Cam.”
CHAPTER ONE
T HE SUN WAS JUST SETTING IN A BLAZE OF orange and pink flame as Cassandra drove along the Pacific Coast Highway. Her hands tight on the steering wheel, she scanned the street signs, looking for her turnoff into the Pacific Palisades area of the Malibu hills.
There it was, Pacific Crest Road. She made a right turn and wove her way up the narrow, twisting lane. Million-dollar homes up there, with million-dollar views of the ocean. But she wasn’t thinking about any of that right now. She was thinking only of why she was there. Of what would happen to her on her first visit to Master Robert’s home.
Training house, she corrected herself. Her sex gave an involuntary squeeze.
She flashed back to the first time she’d seen his ad on the Internet site
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