She’d be okay if it wasn’t for that,” he whispered.
“How did it happen?”
He looked away, shifting in his seat. “If you don’t know, I’m not sure I should be the one to explain it to you.”
“No. I mean, did a condom break or something?”
“Right,” he said. “Like we’re allowed to have condoms.”
Of course they weren’t. And the kids had no access to a drug-store unless they ran away.
Add another item to Santangelo’s “fi rst things kids want to score on the road” list: coffee, Marlboros, pack of Trojans.
“I just—” He paused, picking at the corner of his math book.
“I pulled out. I guess it wasn’t soon enough.”
“Mooney, pulling out doesn’t work, ” I whispered. “There is no ‘soon enough.’ Didn’t they teach you that in sex ed?”
He didn’t say anything.
Of course they didn’t teach him that in sex ed, Madeline, because there wasn’t any sex ed at the hospitals they’d both been in before this place, and there sure as shit wasn’t any here.
“Fay keeps saying it’s her fault,” he said. “How can I make her understand that it’s mine?”
“First of all, you guys have to stop thinking of it as fault, ” I said. “I mean, we’re all programmed to reproduce, you know?
The decks are stacked in that direction. Believe me, I’ve done some really stupid shit—”
“I don’t just mean that,” he said. “It’s everything else, too.
9 5
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Like how I freaked out and punched the window . . . I scared her. Fay only cuts herself when she’s scared.”
He poked at the math book again. “If I’d been able to keep it together, she wouldn’t have done that. And we wouldn’t be down here.”
“You guys love each other, Mooney. You’re both scared.”
“You know they upped her meds after this morning? Tranqued her until it’s like she’s not even in her body anymore.”
“Jesus,” I said.
“I just hope they let her celebrate her birthday. She needs something good to happen.”
“Will they do that on the Farm?”
“Usually, you get a cake when you turn eighteen. Probably so they can sucker you into staying.”
“I’ll talk to Dhumavati about it,” I said. “I promise.”
“Listen, can you give her my hat before those two come back out of the kitchen? I don’t want to get busted.”
“If you start your homework, okay? Let’s get you out of this place as soon as possible.”
He took the paperback from me after I bent its spine wide at the page he’d dog-eared last.
I grabbed his hat and stood up.
“Tell her everything will be okay,” he said. “Tell her she has to remember I love her to pieces. That’s what the necklace is for.”
When I told her, Fay didn’t open her eyes, didn’t stop humming—just raised her right hand to touch the silver moon at her throat.
The motion made her shirt cuff slip, revealing a glimpse of the tape-anchored white gauze around her wrist. She pinched 9 6
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the sleeve’s fabric and twitched it back up exactly enough to cover the bandage.
A practiced gesture. She didn’t even have to lift her cheek from the window to look.
There was no dressing on her left wrist. I wondered if Dhumavati’s interpretation took into account the fact that Fay had damaged herself on the same side that Mooney had.
I stayed crouched beside her, watching her breath fog the glass. “Anything you want me to tell Mooney?”
She pressed her fi ngertip against a point of the crescent charm. “Tell him I’ll never take this off.”
I did, and Mooney looked so happy I thought he was going to cry.
“You’ll get through this,” I said. “Both of you.”
He squirmed again, tensing his jaw to tamp down the advent of tears.
“First I have to get through tomorrow morning,” he said. “I can’t chop wood so they’ve got me on rat duty.”
“Rat duty?”
“Tons of them in this place, gnawing on the walls
“How did it happen?”
He looked away, shifting in his seat. “If you don’t know, I’m not sure I should be the one to explain it to you.”
“No. I mean, did a condom break or something?”
“Right,” he said. “Like we’re allowed to have condoms.”
Of course they weren’t. And the kids had no access to a drug-store unless they ran away.
Add another item to Santangelo’s “fi rst things kids want to score on the road” list: coffee, Marlboros, pack of Trojans.
“I just—” He paused, picking at the corner of his math book.
“I pulled out. I guess it wasn’t soon enough.”
“Mooney, pulling out doesn’t work, ” I whispered. “There is no ‘soon enough.’ Didn’t they teach you that in sex ed?”
He didn’t say anything.
Of course they didn’t teach him that in sex ed, Madeline, because there wasn’t any sex ed at the hospitals they’d both been in before this place, and there sure as shit wasn’t any here.
“Fay keeps saying it’s her fault,” he said. “How can I make her understand that it’s mine?”
“First of all, you guys have to stop thinking of it as fault, ” I said. “I mean, we’re all programmed to reproduce, you know?
The decks are stacked in that direction. Believe me, I’ve done some really stupid shit—”
“I don’t just mean that,” he said. “It’s everything else, too.
9 5
CrazySchool_HCtextF1.indd 95
28/5/08 2:44:24 PM
Like how I freaked out and punched the window . . . I scared her. Fay only cuts herself when she’s scared.”
He poked at the math book again. “If I’d been able to keep it together, she wouldn’t have done that. And we wouldn’t be down here.”
“You guys love each other, Mooney. You’re both scared.”
“You know they upped her meds after this morning? Tranqued her until it’s like she’s not even in her body anymore.”
“Jesus,” I said.
“I just hope they let her celebrate her birthday. She needs something good to happen.”
“Will they do that on the Farm?”
“Usually, you get a cake when you turn eighteen. Probably so they can sucker you into staying.”
“I’ll talk to Dhumavati about it,” I said. “I promise.”
“Listen, can you give her my hat before those two come back out of the kitchen? I don’t want to get busted.”
“If you start your homework, okay? Let’s get you out of this place as soon as possible.”
He took the paperback from me after I bent its spine wide at the page he’d dog-eared last.
I grabbed his hat and stood up.
“Tell her everything will be okay,” he said. “Tell her she has to remember I love her to pieces. That’s what the necklace is for.”
When I told her, Fay didn’t open her eyes, didn’t stop humming—just raised her right hand to touch the silver moon at her throat.
The motion made her shirt cuff slip, revealing a glimpse of the tape-anchored white gauze around her wrist. She pinched 9 6
CrazySchool_HCtextF1.indd 96
28/5/08 2:44:25 PM
the sleeve’s fabric and twitched it back up exactly enough to cover the bandage.
A practiced gesture. She didn’t even have to lift her cheek from the window to look.
There was no dressing on her left wrist. I wondered if Dhumavati’s interpretation took into account the fact that Fay had damaged herself on the same side that Mooney had.
I stayed crouched beside her, watching her breath fog the glass. “Anything you want me to tell Mooney?”
She pressed her fi ngertip against a point of the crescent charm. “Tell him I’ll never take this off.”
I did, and Mooney looked so happy I thought he was going to cry.
“You’ll get through this,” I said. “Both of you.”
He squirmed again, tensing his jaw to tamp down the advent of tears.
“First I have to get through tomorrow morning,” he said. “I can’t chop wood so they’ve got me on rat duty.”
“Rat duty?”
“Tons of them in this place, gnawing on the walls
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