The Color of Heaven by The Colour of Heaven (html) Page A

whiner.
    “Your daughter…” She nodded with compassion. “And your husband. I’m very sorry, Sophie.”
    So. She knew everything.
    I inhaled deeply and let it out, and was at least thankful that I didn’t have to explain why my life was such a train wreck.
    And how nice to have someone speak the truth and not pretend that everything was okay, when it wasn’t.
    I looked down at the damp earth in the garden. “Obviously my mom told you about my recent setbacks.”
    “ Setbacks . That’s an awful y smal word to describe what you’ve been through.” She removed her hat. “And yes, mothers are always monitoring
    what’s going on in their children’s lives. Grandmothers, too.”
    I managed a melancholy smile. “I wouldn’t know about that. I never knew either of my grandmothers. They both passed away before I was born.”
    “You have a sibling, don’t you? A sister?”
    “Yes.”
    “And you’re close to her?”
    “Yes.”
    “Wel , that’s a blessing.”
    I simply nodded.
    We stood quietly for a moment, basking in the sunshine, then continued wandering about the yard. Catherine showed me where she intended to
    plant a rhubarb patch.
    “Do you think you’l ever go back to work?” she asked. “I used to read your articles in the New Yorker. You’re an excel ent writer.”
    I was surprised to hear this. It had been years since anyone mentioned my work. “Thank you. It’s very kind of you to say.” I paused. “Funny…
    Sometimes it feels like it was al someone else’s fairy tale.” Because it was a different life, al gone now. “The truth is,” I confessed, “I haven’t felt ready to go back to work, or to do much of anything. Not since Megan…”
    Catherine laid her hand on my arm. “It’s completely understandable, Sophie.”
    “Is it?” I searched her eyes for answers. “Michael was ready to move on right away. He wanted to have another baby. He mentioned it just before
    Megan died. I remember wondering if he had a heart. I asked myself, ‘Who is this man I married?’ but now I wonder if I was the one who had no
    heart. Maybe it died with Megan, because I’ve been completely morose. I don’t blame him for leaving.”
    The words spil ed out of my mouth too quickly. They were like marbles, bouncing away in al directions. I wanted to chase after them.
    Just then, my mother cal ed to us from across the street. “Hel o!”
    “Good morning!” Catherine gave me a meaningful look that told me she heard everything I said, and that it was okay. Everything was going to be
    okay.
    She waved at my mom. “I’m just showing Sophie my flowers!”
    Struggling to col ect myself, I glimpsed at the dirt. Flowers indeed.
    “I don’t think she’s figured them out yet!” Catherine added with a grin.
    “Figured them out?” I laughed. “Are they that difficult to understand?”
    Catherine slid an arm around my waist and squeezed me affectionately. “Flowers can teach us many things, especial y when they’re out of sight,
    like these ones are, hiding in the ground.”
    She guided me out of the yard and back onto the street. “Now get back to your mother. She hasn’t seen you in a while, and I know how much she’s
    missed you. But please come back and see me again later. I would love to talk to you some more. Or if you want, I can just listen. I’m good at that.
    Actual y, if you don’t mind, I could use some help moving a shrub.”
    I laughed and nodded, then looked across at my mother standing on the veranda in a blue dress that I remembered from my childhood. It was long
    out of style now, but I appreciated her effort to take me back to the past with little details like the pink bathrobe with the pompoms, and now this.
    I haven’t told you what you really need to know yet, Sophie, and it has nothing to do with your father….
    Suddenly I was impatient to hear the rest of her story and to discover this hidden truth she had promised me. Maybe it would help me find my way
    out of this dark