The Cirque by Ryann Kerekes Page B

frenzy….
    It was dusk when we arrived in Minneapolis and though it was only September, there was a chill in the air that announced winter was already on the march to Minnesota.
    Between our shows, Shane and I found time to practice together. He had choreographed a dance for us. The premise was that we were volatile lovers who were all wrong for each other, but couldn’t get enough. It reminded me of my relationship with Gabriel in a strange way.
    Shane’s character was desperately addicted to mine, and I liked that I got to break out of the perfect angel role. Tanner helped us put together costumes that fit the mood of our dance. I was in a ripped black bodice with a corset top and Shane wore a simple outfit of khakis and a white t-shirt. We were both barefoot, which made me self-conscious at first but was also strangely liberating. 
    We practiced our routine all week. It was set to a dark, gothic song Tanner let us use from his playlist. It began with me standing at center stage, crumpled over at the waist, with Shane behind me cradling my body. Once the music started, we sprang apart and I tore at his chest angrily with my hands. He flew away from me, leaping into the air and executing two graceful jumps with his legs fully extended into splits. I writhed on the floor in agony and pounded my fists. Shane came back for more, and I allowed him to softly sway with me before again lashing out at him.
    Throughout the dance, we moved together, throwing ourselves from one move into the next. It was so unlike ballet and I loved the freedom and expression of movement it gave me. We each had a small solo in the dance. He did a running front flip and I opted for some ballet-inspired moves, twirling in a fast, lopsided pirouette. At the end, he lay on the ground on his back and I gorged on his body, bringing my teeth to his neck.
    I had asked Del to watch us perform, but he kept saying he was too busy and blew me off. I knew he didn’t want me to give up on my routine with Gabriel. We settled for performing in front of Tanner and Sasha  and they whistled and applauded loudly at the end. Of course, Tanner had insisted on giving me makeup to go along with my ripped bodice. I wore heavy eyeliner and my lips were painted blood red. He had even painted my nails black and I felt mysterious and very unlike myself.
    We went to lunch after the private showing, and when I walked into the cafeteria still wearing my goth costume, Gabriel’s eyes travel ed over my body.
    “Our little angel has fallen over to the dark side,” Tanner said, noticing Gabriel’s expression.
    Knowing I could never read what was behind Gabriel’s eyes, I focused on my lunch. I took a bite of my veggie burger and listened to Shane answer Tanner’s endless questions.
    ***
    It was Wednesday night, our last free night before our run started on Thursday, so we all made plans to go out and do something. Tanner said he would take us to Minnehaha Falls at sunset. He said to dress warm. The plan was hatched that afternoon when Tanner had done my makeup. He was always begging me to let him do my makeup or paint my nails, and it was an easy way to make him happy.
    Tanner was utterly preoccupied with the conquest that was Shane. Though none of us knew whether Shane was gay or straight, Tanner was completely smitten with him. While he did my makeup, we brainstormed ways he could use his powers of persuasion to flip Shane. He nicknamed our mission Operation Spatula.
    “You could always just ask him if he’s gay.” I closed my eyes as he used a brush to spread foundation over my face.
    “Bor-ing. Come on, Ari,” he pleaded in a whiny voice. “You’ve got to help me.”
    “He does kinda seem to flirt with you.”
    “I feel major chemistry with him. I’m not sure if he does though. My gaydar is normally so spot on. But this boy confuses me.”
    “All right, what about asking him how he feels about issues like gay marriage, or gays adopting?”
    “Not bad,” he