The Case of the Vampire Vacuum Sweeper by John R. Erickson Page A

Okay, pardner, stand by for a rapid sprint to the hay barn. We’ve got to warn Slim about the stampede. Come on, let’s go.”
    And with that, we went to Full Flames on all engines and went streaking to the hay barn—which, by the way, wasn’t much of a barn. It was a small shed, made of weathered lumber and with a tin roof on the . . . well, on the top, of course. That’s where you’d expect to find a roof, right? I notice these tiny details.
    I was the first to arrive. Drover limped and lolly­gagged behind me, and I had to wait for him. This gave me a few precious moments to analyze the situation. It was clear by this time that the mysterious Esther had somehow spooked our cattle and caused them to stampede. At this point we didn’t know how or why, but I was pretty sure that she was our prime suspect in the case. And Slim had to be warned.
    At last Drover arrived, huffing and puffing. I greeted him with stern eyes. “Well, I’m glad you could join us, Drover. I hope this isn’t interfering with your social schedule. Now listen carefully. We’re going in. I’ll go first, you cover the rear.”
    â€œWhose rear, mine or yours?”
    â€œ Our rear , Drover. We have only one rear.”
    â€œNo, we’ve got two and mine’s the one with the stub tail, and it’s the one I sit on all the time.”
    I glared at the runt. “Are you trying to be funny?”
    â€œI don’t think so.”
    â€œGood. You’re not. When I say ‘our rear,’ I mean our collective rear, the area behind us.”
    â€œYeah, but what if we’re facing the other direction?”
    â€œEverything changes, Drover. In the blink of an eye, the front can become the rear and the rear can become the front. We have to be prepared for any contagency.”
    â€œOh, okay. So we’re not supposed to blink our eyes?”
    I heaved a deep sigh. Sometimes, when I talk to Drover . . . oh well. We had work to do. “Never mind. We’re going in, and you’d better cover the rear.”
    â€œWell, all right, but I still don’t understand . . .”
    I didn’t wait around to hear the rest. I crept up to the door, peered inside (it was dark), and then went charging in, barking in all directions. I was a little surprised that Mysterious Esther was no­where in sight. I was even more surprised—shocked, actually—when I saw Slim sprawled out on a layer of hay.
    â€œCover the door, Drover. We’ve got a man down.”
    â€œYeah, I guess he took a nap.”
    â€œAre you nuts? He’s unconscious . Mysterious Esther is obviously a spy. She clubbed Slim from behind and now she’s out there stampeding our cattle. Don’t you see how it all fits together?”
    â€œNot really, and you know what else?”
    â€œIs this important, Drover? We’ve got a man down and an enemy spy running loose on the ranch. This isn’t a great time to be making small talk.”
    â€œYeah, but I just figured it out.”
    I studied him with narrowed eyes. “You figured it out? Drover, you don’t need to figure it out because I figured it out long ago. Don’t forget who’s in charge here.”
    He gave me a silly grin. “Yeah, but I just figured out what Slim said. He didn’t say he was going to ‘see Esther.’ He said he was going to take a ‘siesta,’ only he called it a ‘see-ester,’ and that’s why he’s asleep. Pretty neat, huh?”
    I held him in my glare for a long, throbbing moment. “Drover, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve said in weeks. In the first place, we’ve already put out a tracer on Mysterious Esther, and we know she’s a spy. In the second place, your phony explanation doesn’t account for the stampede that is occurring at this very moment. I’m sorry, Drover, but your can of worms just doesn’t cut bait.”
    At that