The Book of Bastards

The Book of Bastards by Brian Thornton Page B

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tactics; two-term Republican president of the United States (more on that later!); bestselling author whose Civil War memoir stands up to comparisons to the work of such heavy-hitters in the field as Julius Caesar and Tacitus.
    Drunk.
    That's right: the man who would one day partner with President Abraham Lincoln to help preserve the Union was once drummed out of the same army he would later command as General-in-Chief for drunkenness. Not officially, of course. Officially he resigned his commission.
    As a young man, Grant had attended the U.S. Military Academy at West Point at the behest of his successful businessman father, who worried that Grant had no ambition and felt that the security of a military career might be good for his “unfocused” son.
    Stationed in Missouri, Grant quickly met the love of his life, Julia Dent. He courted her ardently for years. The entire time he was away fighting in the Mexican War in the mid-1840s the young lovers exchanged frequent letters.
    During this time, Grant developed a reputation for having an affinity for the bottle. His appreciation for alcohol was unremarkable for the time: most soldiers in the mid-nineteenth century drank as often as they could get their hands on a supply of liquor. It's a truism that is nearly a cliché. Aside from notations about the generally unkempt manner of his uniform (one of his biographers has likened Grant's “military bearing” to that of a sack of potatoes, and in the spit-and-polish regular army, that could be the kiss of death for an officer's career), Grant's record was spotless during the Mexican War.
    BASTARD-IN-LAW
    We know for a fact that while Grant himself was personally honest, he was also a relatively guileless individual; he entrusted people of poor character with responsibilities they had no right to possess. This included his brother-in-law, a New York “businessman” named Abel Corbin who married Grant's sister Virginia. Not only did Corbin steal Grant blind by “investing” his money, he also introduced Grant to a succession of swindlers bent on getting in on the action; some tagged along all the way to cabinet posts in his administration.
    After the war Grant went back to Missouri and at long last married his beloved Julia. By 1854 he had been promoted to captain (one of about fifty left in the army after the Mexican War). His new rank took him to Ft. Humboldt in California, and forced Grant to leave a very pregnant Julia behind in Missouri. His officer's salary was so low that they could not afford for her to join her husband on the West Coast. It was here that Grant — pining for his wife, worried about her health, and serving as the fort's paymaster — ran into trouble as a result of his drinking.
    Grant's commanding officer in California was a by-the-book career solider named Robert C. Buchanan. One evening Buchanan found Grant drunk on duty and offered him the chance to resign in lieu of being kicked out for his offense. Grant quit and remained in good standing, officially. In many ways it was probably a relief to him, as he never cared for garrison life anyway. He returned home to Julia and their children, and he set about being a failure at every single professional venture to which he turned his hand.
    But history was not finished with Grant. Opportunity knocked with the out-break of the Civil War in 1861. Within a month of volunteering Grant was a general.

37
WILLIAM MARCY TWEED
Honest Graft and Dishonest Graft (1823–1878)
    â€œEverybody is talkin' these days about Tammany men growin' rich on graft, but nobody thinks of drawin' the distinction between honest graft and dishonest graft. There's all the difference in the world between the two.”
    â€” George Washington Plunkitt, Tammany Hall machine politician, quoted in Plunkitt of Tammany Hall
    William Macy Tweed was not just any native New Yorker. He began his rise to power simply enough, serving as a volunteer fireman

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