movements--that is, if
your opponent looks as though he has a bad hand,
expect it to be a good one, and vice versa .
I Palms held to the front is a signal to stop or defensiveness under
attack . If the palm is flat and fingers are stretched, it
will look like an order . If the palm is more relaxed,
it will imply you're trying to get someone to
lay off .
I hands balled into fists . If they're down at your sides
it will look like suppressed aggression . If they're A B e gI n n e R ' S g U I D e TO y O U R h An D g e S T U Re S 109
held at waist height, they'll suggest frustration
at yourself . I hands clasped in front of torso . Held crotch-height,
they'll look super defensive as though expectant
of a low-blow attack . (By the way, watch out for
defensive gestures; when we look as though we're
expecting to be attacked we often invite the very
thing we dread .) If the hands are loosely clasped
waist height you'll look ready for action and rather
confident . If they're clasped any higher you'll look
submissive, with the level of submission rising along
with the hands . You'll probably stop at the chin,
and the hands clasped under the chin pose is the
most submissive of the lot, practically inviting other
people to wipe their feet all over you . Wringing
hands suggest subservience and anxiety . A hand-
clasp gesture in which the palms are pointed at
the floor will look juvenile and very much like a
pathetic attempt to look cute . I "hamster hands" is a term I coined for hands clasped nervously
high up the body, around chest or even neck height . Doing
this will make you look overly anxious to please . I hands on hips . This body-bulking gesture can look
like Power Posturing . It mimics the first stages
of aggressive arousal in animals when they puff
themselves up to intimidate their opponents . 110 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S
I hands held with tips of fingers joined and palms slightly apart .
This is called "steepling" and it's easy to see why .
It normally signals a desire for heightened status,
especially if all the fingertips or the tips of the two
index fingers point upward toward your own chin .
There's a sense of control and precision about this
hand gesture that suggests a rather sanctimonious
attitude . If the fingertips point forward there's less
of the status posturing, but by pointing all fingers
at the other person you'll appear to want them to
keep their distance, not because you feel vulnerable
but because you feel superior .
I A lowered steeple is when the steepled hands are held around
crotch height or point forward . This implies critical
listening .
I By holding both arms at your sides you'll look odd . This pose
will only usually occur in military types or people
who have been on presentation skill-training
courses . If your arms are held out from your sides
like a muscle-bound ape you'll appear to be empha-
sizing your alpha credentials .
I If your hands are clasped behind your back you'll look as
though you're keeping them out of trouble . Women who
do this gesture can look charmingly whimsical but
men will often seem like a frotteur in remission .
This last point doesn't apply to concierge staff or A B e gI n n e R ' S g U I D e TO y O U R h An D g e S T U Re S 111
shop workers who will use the pose to signal they're
ready to serve or help . I Place one hand in a trouser pocket and you can look debonair
and cool, but only if the thumb is still on display . Hooking a
thumb or both thumbs into your pockets can look
affected in a suspicious kind of way . Shoving the
whole hand in will signal a desire to hide . Ditto both
hands, with bells on . Jangling change in your pocket
will just look perverted . Avoid jacket pockets at all
costs as they're too high to look good, especially
when the pockets belong to a double-breasted jacket
that is buttoned up . This will look anally
your opponent looks as though he has a bad hand,
expect it to be a good one, and vice versa .
I Palms held to the front is a signal to stop or defensiveness under
attack . If the palm is flat and fingers are stretched, it
will look like an order . If the palm is more relaxed,
it will imply you're trying to get someone to
lay off .
I hands balled into fists . If they're down at your sides
it will look like suppressed aggression . If they're A B e gI n n e R ' S g U I D e TO y O U R h An D g e S T U Re S 109
held at waist height, they'll suggest frustration
at yourself . I hands clasped in front of torso . Held crotch-height,
they'll look super defensive as though expectant
of a low-blow attack . (By the way, watch out for
defensive gestures; when we look as though we're
expecting to be attacked we often invite the very
thing we dread .) If the hands are loosely clasped
waist height you'll look ready for action and rather
confident . If they're clasped any higher you'll look
submissive, with the level of submission rising along
with the hands . You'll probably stop at the chin,
and the hands clasped under the chin pose is the
most submissive of the lot, practically inviting other
people to wipe their feet all over you . Wringing
hands suggest subservience and anxiety . A hand-
clasp gesture in which the palms are pointed at
the floor will look juvenile and very much like a
pathetic attempt to look cute . I "hamster hands" is a term I coined for hands clasped nervously
high up the body, around chest or even neck height . Doing
this will make you look overly anxious to please . I hands on hips . This body-bulking gesture can look
like Power Posturing . It mimics the first stages
of aggressive arousal in animals when they puff
themselves up to intimidate their opponents . 110 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S
I hands held with tips of fingers joined and palms slightly apart .
This is called "steepling" and it's easy to see why .
It normally signals a desire for heightened status,
especially if all the fingertips or the tips of the two
index fingers point upward toward your own chin .
There's a sense of control and precision about this
hand gesture that suggests a rather sanctimonious
attitude . If the fingertips point forward there's less
of the status posturing, but by pointing all fingers
at the other person you'll appear to want them to
keep their distance, not because you feel vulnerable
but because you feel superior .
I A lowered steeple is when the steepled hands are held around
crotch height or point forward . This implies critical
listening .
I By holding both arms at your sides you'll look odd . This pose
will only usually occur in military types or people
who have been on presentation skill-training
courses . If your arms are held out from your sides
like a muscle-bound ape you'll appear to be empha-
sizing your alpha credentials .
I If your hands are clasped behind your back you'll look as
though you're keeping them out of trouble . Women who
do this gesture can look charmingly whimsical but
men will often seem like a frotteur in remission .
This last point doesn't apply to concierge staff or A B e gI n n e R ' S g U I D e TO y O U R h An D g e S T U Re S 111
shop workers who will use the pose to signal they're
ready to serve or help . I Place one hand in a trouser pocket and you can look debonair
and cool, but only if the thumb is still on display . Hooking a
thumb or both thumbs into your pockets can look
affected in a suspicious kind of way . Shoving the
whole hand in will signal a desire to hide . Ditto both
hands, with bells on . Jangling change in your pocket
will just look perverted . Avoid jacket pockets at all
costs as they're too high to look good, especially
when the pockets belong to a double-breasted jacket
that is buttoned up . This will look anally
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