not having your own
emotions under control is pretty miserable, yeah.”
His mouth twitched—I swear I saw it! But his face was dead calm a moment later, and
he said, “We apologize for not previously detailing the nature of the experiment to
you. However, we had the approval of the Commissioner to …” He trailed off, constrained
by the habit of truth, and amended, “The Commissioner conveyed to us the permission
of the government to carry out these tests.”
“Thanks for that,” I said quietly. “I had an inkling Qeturah doesn’t really like my
involvement in this. She thinks I should be getting therapy.”
Dllenahkh held my gaze for the precise amount of time necessary to warn me that I
should take his next words very, very seriously. “And you have refused therapy.”
I matched his neutral tone. “I’d have to leave the mission for that. Besides, fifteen
years of functioning won’t break down in a few months. It can wait.”
“I believe they had hoped to counsel and treat you, your sister, and her children
as a family unit.”
“It can wait,” I repeated. “Some things might go better if I’m not there. Now, you
were about to tell me what’s going on here?”
He looked away, withdrawing for the moment, and picked up an injector. “A simplified
explanation will suffice. The contents of these injectors have been designed to stimulate
or suppress one of the two ranges of the limbic system that contribute to emotion.
One range has satisfaction at one extreme and dysphoria at the other. The other range
varies from frenzy to lethargy. The first range is additionally complicated by the
fact that it actually consists of two separate scales of pleasure and pain that overlap
in the lower values. For example, the emotion categorized as anticipation consists
of small elements of pleasure, caused by looking forward to the moment of satisfaction;
pain, caused by the fact of the present absence of satisfaction; and frenzy, manifested
as an urge to seek out the aforementioned satisfaction.”
I blinked. “That’s fascinating. Complicated little buggers, aren’t we?”
“Indeed. Incidentally, it is not only those of Terran or Ntshune origin who experience
this. It appears to be common, by one physiological mechanism or another, in all humans.”
I think I felt a mingling of mild pleasure, pain, and frenzy at that point. That was
the first specific bit of information he’d given me about Sadiri neurology, and I
was hoping he’d say more.
He didn’t. “At present, Cygnian psi-profile tests are designed to detect levels of
ability that could significantly impact a person’s capacity to function in a largely
nonpsionic society. Strong telepaths and empaths are provided with training and a
system of ethics to regulate the use of their skills. Most Cygnians are not at the
level where this is required.”
“Including me,” I said with a frown. “So why am I here on this medtable being pumped
full of different kinds of crazy juice?”
“Because there are other aspects of psionic ability that the tests do not address,”
Nasiha interrupted. “For example, we havediscovered from monitoring our own reactions that you are capable of quite strong
empathic projection in two very specific areas.”
I grinned. “I bet I can guess one. Pleasure, right?”
“Yes. That is the stronger one. When your pleasure range was stimulated, Nasiha and
I both experienced a strong desire to laugh that was only mitigated by increasing
the shielding on our telepathic receptors.” Tarik’s face was so deadly serious, almost
mournful, as he admitted this that I had to bite back a laugh.
“Less intense but still significant was the projection of lethargy,” Nasiha continued.
I stared at her, taken aback. “I bore people?”
“You calm people,” Dllenahkh said diplomatically. “But it is a much subtler effect.”
I contemplated the ceiling for a
emotions under control is pretty miserable, yeah.”
His mouth twitched—I swear I saw it! But his face was dead calm a moment later, and
he said, “We apologize for not previously detailing the nature of the experiment to
you. However, we had the approval of the Commissioner to …” He trailed off, constrained
by the habit of truth, and amended, “The Commissioner conveyed to us the permission
of the government to carry out these tests.”
“Thanks for that,” I said quietly. “I had an inkling Qeturah doesn’t really like my
involvement in this. She thinks I should be getting therapy.”
Dllenahkh held my gaze for the precise amount of time necessary to warn me that I
should take his next words very, very seriously. “And you have refused therapy.”
I matched his neutral tone. “I’d have to leave the mission for that. Besides, fifteen
years of functioning won’t break down in a few months. It can wait.”
“I believe they had hoped to counsel and treat you, your sister, and her children
as a family unit.”
“It can wait,” I repeated. “Some things might go better if I’m not there. Now, you
were about to tell me what’s going on here?”
He looked away, withdrawing for the moment, and picked up an injector. “A simplified
explanation will suffice. The contents of these injectors have been designed to stimulate
or suppress one of the two ranges of the limbic system that contribute to emotion.
One range has satisfaction at one extreme and dysphoria at the other. The other range
varies from frenzy to lethargy. The first range is additionally complicated by the
fact that it actually consists of two separate scales of pleasure and pain that overlap
in the lower values. For example, the emotion categorized as anticipation consists
of small elements of pleasure, caused by looking forward to the moment of satisfaction;
pain, caused by the fact of the present absence of satisfaction; and frenzy, manifested
as an urge to seek out the aforementioned satisfaction.”
I blinked. “That’s fascinating. Complicated little buggers, aren’t we?”
“Indeed. Incidentally, it is not only those of Terran or Ntshune origin who experience
this. It appears to be common, by one physiological mechanism or another, in all humans.”
I think I felt a mingling of mild pleasure, pain, and frenzy at that point. That was
the first specific bit of information he’d given me about Sadiri neurology, and I
was hoping he’d say more.
He didn’t. “At present, Cygnian psi-profile tests are designed to detect levels of
ability that could significantly impact a person’s capacity to function in a largely
nonpsionic society. Strong telepaths and empaths are provided with training and a
system of ethics to regulate the use of their skills. Most Cygnians are not at the
level where this is required.”
“Including me,” I said with a frown. “So why am I here on this medtable being pumped
full of different kinds of crazy juice?”
“Because there are other aspects of psionic ability that the tests do not address,”
Nasiha interrupted. “For example, we havediscovered from monitoring our own reactions that you are capable of quite strong
empathic projection in two very specific areas.”
I grinned. “I bet I can guess one. Pleasure, right?”
“Yes. That is the stronger one. When your pleasure range was stimulated, Nasiha and
I both experienced a strong desire to laugh that was only mitigated by increasing
the shielding on our telepathic receptors.” Tarik’s face was so deadly serious, almost
mournful, as he admitted this that I had to bite back a laugh.
“Less intense but still significant was the projection of lethargy,” Nasiha continued.
I stared at her, taken aback. “I bore people?”
“You calm people,” Dllenahkh said diplomatically. “But it is a much subtler effect.”
I contemplated the ceiling for a
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