His eyes bored holes into Reed’s, daring him to disagree. As if Reed would. Or could. The darkness usually lurking within Carter had transformed into something more tangible and alive.
Here he’d thought he’d be the one in charge this afternoon, having made all the plans, yet with a deft twist, once again Carter had come out on top. It didn’t matter to him, not with Carter smiling at him, his teeth glinting white in the frosty sun, so heartbreakingly handsome it almost hurt Reed to look at him. Like a grinning fool, he stood in the circle of Carter’s arms, oblivious to the surge of the crowd around him.
“Let’s go get the skates.” Carter broke the spell and tugged Reed forward.
Childish shrieks split the air along with the recorded music playing for the ice skaters, and Reed hummed a tune under his breath as he and Carter walked to the ice skate rental concession and waited in line. After they collected their skates, they sat side by side, sliding their feet into the skates, tying them tightly. Arms linked, they laughed together as they wobbled to the entrance of the ice-skating rink and waited in line to enter the ice, and for the first time in forever Reed forgot about being anxious and inadequate and concentrated on the moment.
Hand in hand they swept onto the ice recently smoothed over by the Zamboni, and Reed’s mouth dropped open in wonder.
“You skate beautifully.”
Carter let go of his hand and skated in a circle around him, arms tucked behind him in the small of his back, his eyes never leaving Reed’s.
“I taught myself years ago.” He held out his hand; Reed took it automatically, and they flew together, weaving in and around the others on the rink, past little children slipping and sliding, and others practicing spins, loops, and toe flips.
From his first time on the rink Reed had loved skating; the crunch of ice beneath his skates and the wind rushing against his cheeks breathed magic inside him. He felt happy, normal, and in control over his body. Having Carter with him made it even more pleasurable; each moment clicking by like the shutter from a photographer’s camera and Reed only hoped it managed to capture the brilliance of the day.
He sneaked a glance at Carter’s face and at the pure, exhilaration of his smile, and a swell of something indefinable rose up inside him. Elated over his ridiculous, unexpected happiness, Reed forgot the piercing cold and Carter’s earlier moody, secretive behavior.
“Come on.” Once again he grabbed hold of Carter’s hand, and together they sailed across the rink. For far too long, he’d succumbed to pain and uncertainty; they made for sad companions. Now Reed learned joy was what you made of it, and holding Carter’s hand tight in his, Reed realized he was happy; for the first time he lived life as part of a crowd instead of always standing alone.
After executing some impressive spins, Carter pointed to the café at the edge of the ice rink. “Let’s get something hot to drink. My toes and face are freezing.”
“You look cute with a red nose. I should call you Rudolph,” Reed teased Carter as they headed toward the exit.
“Don’t even think of it,” he warned. “Whenever we watch…” Looking stricken, Carter furtively glanced over at him, possibly to gauge his reaction, then started to babble about childhood holiday shows as if to fill up the silence blooming in the air between them.
With a frozen smile, Reed dropped Carter’s hand once they reached the walkway out of the rink. Without speaking, they returned their skates, put their sneakers back on, then walked to the café they’d spotted earlier from the rink. A few paces in front of him, Carter reached the café first, pulled open the door, and held it for Reed to pass through. When they were inside, Reed planted himself in front of Carter, challenging him to listen to what he had to say.
“You know, I’m not stupid. I’m aware you have a life outside the two days
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