The Affair of the Mutilated Mink by James Anderson

presented with a straight question, Gerry managed to reply. Through clenched teeth she hissed, 'I did not claw your face!'
    'But my dear, you said—'
    In a sudden bursting of frustration, anger and humiliation, Gerry yelled, 'I didn't claw your face. I did it with a carving knife!'
    For seconds Gilbert didn't react at all; his face wore the same slightly pulled but patiently indulgent expression. Then it was as though something clicked. His jaw dropped.
    He said hollowly, 'You came looking for me with a - a carving knife?'
    'Yes! Now listen—'
    But Gilbert had gone pale. Hurriedly he stepped back. He said, 'Keep away.'
    Desperately Gerry shouted, 'You great imbecile, you don't understand—'
    'Oh, yes, I do - only too well. I was warned about you, Lady Geraldine. I didn't know what the warning meant. But I do now. You're mad. Certifiable. You ought to be locked up!'
    'Will you listen?' Gerry screeched. 'You've got it all wrong. I want to know what you were looking for. Either tell me or leave this house at once.'
    'Well, I wasn't looking for a victim to stab! And don't worry, I'm going. Now. Nobody's safe with you around. It's monstrous that you're walking about free. The power of the aristocracy! Disgraceful! I shall show it up!'
    And being careful to remain facing her, Gilbert sidled round her, backed to the door and went hurriedly out.
    Gerry sank helplessly into a chair. She felt exhausted. Oh, crumbs, what a ghastly mess she'd made of that!
    But at least he was going. To spread abroad heaven knew what sort of rumours about her. He'd make her out to be a maniac certainly - but whether on reflection he'd paint her as merely a nymphomaniac, or homicidal as well, she wasn't sure.
    Suddenly Gerry's lips started to twitch. Then she gave a giggle. Next a chortle. Within seconds she was bent double in her chair, helpless with laughter.
     
    * * *
     
    Laura opened the door to the library and looked in. The only person inside was Paul, who was kneeling on the floor, peering under a chair.
    She said, 'Oh, mi scusi .'
    'It's all right.' Paul stood up. 'I was just looking for my fountain pen. Thought I might have dropped it in here yesterday. But no luck. It's rather a nice one: gold, twenty-first birthday present from my godmother.'
    'Ah, then it would be a peety to lose it.'
    'Were you looking for somebody in particular?' he asked.
    'It is no matter. I am seemply exploring this beautiful house.' She looked round her. 'Would it be eendeescreet of me, signore, were I to ask whether perhaps one day it will be your home?'
    'Mine?'
    'Forgeev me, but I got the impression that you and the Lady Geraldine were — were . . .'
    'Oh, I see.' Paul grinned. 'Well, I'd certainly like to think we were. But I'm not banking on it.'
    'Ah, you have a rival?'
    'You could say that.'
    'Signore Quartus, I think? And you hate each other, yes?'
    'Great Scott, no!'
    'But if you are both in love with the same woman . . .'
    'That doesn't mean we hate each other. After all, we're not Latins, who—' He broke off, in confusion. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean—'
    Laura laughed, a rich appreciative laugh. 'Not crazy, hot- blooded Italianos? No, Signore Carter, you are certainly not that. You especially are very English, are you not? And so you stay in the same house as your rival, and you are very polite, and if the Lady Geraldine eventually chooses him you will smile and shake him by the hand and tell everyone what a frightfully decent chap he is. Right?'
    Paul laughed. 'I sincerely hope the situation doesn't arise. But if it does, it wouldn't do any good to cut up rough. Just have to grin and bear it.'
    'And suppose veectory should go to you. Will Signore Quartus also green and bear it?'
    'I expect so. I mean, what else could he do?'
    'Oh, quite a lot of theengs. You see, signore, you say you do not hate Hugh Quartus. But I look at his face once or twice last night, and I theenk very much he hate you.'
    Paul felt decidedly embarrassed. 'I say, steady on.'
    'You