The Adventures of Flash Jackson by William Kowalski Page B

again?” I said.
    â€œHaley,” she said, “you got it from me .”
    Well, I have to admit that had never occurred to me.
    â€œYou mean you know how to do it too?” I said. “Just the same way, with the water and candle and everything?”
    â€œYou have to be taught,” she said, not answering me. “It’s like trying to…I don’t know, like trying to fly a jet plane when you’ve only ever been a passenger. And almost as dangerous. You have to be trained in this.”
    â€œThen train me,” I said.
    â€œNo.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œBecause you’re not ready!” she said.
    â€œWell, obviously I am,” I said. “If I’m doing it on my own.”
    â€œAnd because I don’t do it!” she said. “I don’t want anything to do with it, and I never want to. Ever. So don’t ask me.”
    â€œYou used to have something to do with it,” I said. “Didn’t you?”
    I could tell she didn’t want to answer that question. She looked away.
    â€œMother?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œYou used to have something to do with it.”
    Silence.
    â€œYes or no?”
    More silence.
    â€œTell me!” I said.
    â€œAll right,” she said. “Yes.”
    I knew it. “So when did you stop?”
    She got pale then.
    â€œYou want to know when I stopped?” she said. “All right, if you’re so grown-up and smart I’ll tell you. I stopped when I saw your father die,” she said. “I saw it in the water, weeks before it happened. And I wish I never had, because it was terrible !”
    This word came out as more of a scream. I jumped, and she started to cry. I wanted to hug her suddenly, but I was rooted to where I stood. Her words had seared me, frightened me to death. Suddenly the fiery image of the shed going up in smoke was in my mind, and that was an image that never failed to undo me. Even many years later, it was the worst thing I could think of—it would always be the worst thing. And Mother had her arms wrapped around herself, encased in her own sadness, like an unborn baby in its sac of fluids.
    â€œYou’re not ready to handle what you might see, Haley.” Her voice was low through her tears—her voice got deeper when she cried. “You’re not ready yet. And you’re never ready to see something like that.”
    â€œIt was only sunflowers !” I shouted. “That’s all it was!”
    I started crutching myself out of there. She had me really spooked now. I wanted to go outside, but I had to get past her to get to the door, and she put her hand on my shoulder to stop me.
    â€œThis time it was only sunflowers,” she said.
    Well, she didn’t need to finish that statement. Today sunflowers, tomorrow something else—fire, maybe? Blood and guts? Death? I shook her off and went out the door to the corral. Brother was standing in his stall, asleep on his feet. He woke up when I came in and whickered at me. I was shaking pretty hard. I let myself into his stall and put my head on his neck.
    â€œOh, my, horse,” I whispered. “Oh, glory. Things are getting curiouser and curiouser.”
    Whibbety whicket , he said.
    I put my nose into him and smelled his horsiness. It was a smell that always calmed me down.
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    I stayed out there for a while, not wanting to go back inside. I made myself comfy on a bale of hay and just sat there, thinking things over. I hadn’t known for sure I could do it. I just thought I could. Now I felt like something in me had changed, just a little bit. I had looked through the Veil.
    But what Mother said about seeing Dad’s death had busted me up inside more than a little bit. I’d never known she could look through the Veil too, but it made sense. Just her and Grandma out there alone in the woods all those years, until my Dad came along. There would have been plenty of time for her