The Accidental Proposal by Matt Dunn

driving.’
    ‘What for? You live five minutes away.’
    ‘You told me not to get drunk this evening. So I thought if I drove, I’d be more likely to stay sober.’
    ‘Oh. Right.’ I immediately feel guilty. ‘Sorry. And you’re not trying to chat her up?’
    Dan sighs. ‘Ed, if you think that accusing a woman of being a mentalist is a good way to get into her knickers . . . let’s just say it’s a miracle you’ve managed to find one to marry you.’
    ‘Yes, well,’ I say, removing the champagne from the fridge, and replacing it with the Perrier. ‘It just looked like you were doing, you know, your usual.’
    ‘You said you wanted us to get on, didn’t you? So I’m just being friendly.’
    ‘Okay. Point taken. Sorry.’
    Dan rests a hand on my arm. ‘Apology accepted.’
    We head back into the lounge, where Sam and Madeleine are sitting on the sofa. I pop the bottle open, and fill up three of the four glasses on the coffee table.
    ‘Are you sure you won’t have one, Dan?’
    He takes one look at the bottle, then sits down next to Madeleine, his arm snaking around her waist to give her a squeeze.
    ‘Oh, go on, then,’ he says. ‘Just the one. I can never resist anything French and bubbly.’
    And as Madeleine starts to giggle for the third time this evening, I can already tell it’s going to be a long night.
     
    10.42 p.m.
    It’s getting late, and – apart from one awkward moment, when Madeleine told Dan she was a homoeopath, and Dan replied ‘kinky’, resulting in me having to whisk him back off into the kitchen to explain that it wasn’t some perverse sexual practice – the evening seems to have gone well. Madeleine’s been flirting with Dan the whole evening, but true to his word, Dan’s nursed the same glass of champagne all night, and so while the rest of us are pleasantly merry, he’s in a strangely reflective mood.
    We’re having coffee, and I’m trying to sneakily eat a few extra After Eights without Sam noticing by slipping them out of their wrappers while still in the box, when Dan suddenly turns to Sam and clears his throat.
    ‘Tell me,’ he says, ‘why exactly did you ask Edward to marry you?’
    This takes me by surprise, especially when Sam glances across at me, meaning I have to stop chewing the latest After Eight she hasn’t seen me take and start sucking it instead. And even though I’m embarrassed that Dan’s brought it up so brazenly, I nod at her to suggest she should go ahead and answer, although more as a diversionary tactic so I can swallow the contents of my mouth.
    ‘It seemed like the obvious thing to do,’ she says, fingering her engagement ring. ‘Especially when I found out I was pregnant.’
    Thirty seconds later, after Dan’s finished whacking me on the back to dislodge the remains of the After Eight I’ve just inhaled in shock, and it’s finally become clear to me that Sam was joking, everyone stops laughing.
    ‘Yes, Sam,’ I croak, before guzzling down some of Dan’s Perrier. ‘Very funny.’
    ‘Seriously, though,’ he says, still trying to hide a smile. ‘Why are you marrying Ed?’
    I shoot him a glance, unable to work out why he’s doing this. Maybe he thinks he’s doing me a favour, trying to put my mind at rest by hearing it from the horse’s mouth. Maybe he wants to hear a woman’s point of view, so he can understand Polly better. But either way, I’m anxious to change the subject.
    ‘Dan, I hardly think now’s the time or the place,’ I say, reaching over to refill my water glass.
    ‘Why not?’ he says. ‘I’d like to hear it.’
    In truth, there’s a part of me that would like to hear it too. But probably not in front of anyone else. And especially not in front of Dan, particularly given the speech he’s going to be delivering in a couple of weeks’ time.
    ‘I mean,’ he continues, ‘when you first met him, he wasn’t such a catch, was he? And he was going out with someone else. Although he was the only one in