The Accidental Proposal

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Authors: Matt Dunn
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cat.’
    Madeleine takes the arm he’s offered her. ‘So, Dan, are you an animal lover?’
    Dan shrugs. ‘I’ve had no complaints,’ he says, winking at me as he walks her out of the door.

     

Friday, 10 April
     
    8.01 a.m.
    I don’t hear Sam get up for work this morning, and in fact it’s Dan who wakes me, by texting first thing to assure me that despite having to fight off her advances in the car last night, all he did was drop Madeleine off at home. After I’ve re-read his message three times in disbelief, I lie in bed basking in the things Sam said about me yesterday.
    Despite my childish outburst last night, I’ve realized I’ve got no choice but to go along with her wishes and make the best of this whole registry office thing, and so have decided I won’t mention it again, even though when I pop back for lunch, I catch her reading what looks like one of the wedding magazines I brought home the other day, although she slides it hurriedly underneath a copy of Health and Fitness when she hears me come in.
     
    6.53 p.m.
    When I get home this evening, Sam’s peering intently at her laptop, which is open on the kitchen table in front of her. ‘Still working?’ I say, nodding towards the screen.
    ‘Just sorting out a few things.’ She punches the ‘sleep’ button, and smiles up at me. ‘Speaking of which, here’s something you might be interested in.’
    I stare at the scrap of paper she’s just handed me. ‘What’s this? A phone number?’
    ‘For Billy. One of my clients works for Shelter. She thinks there might be a place coming up in one of their hostels.’
    ‘Oh. Right.’
    Sam frowns at me. ‘What’s the matter?’
    ‘I don’t think Billy has a phone. Or the best phone manner.’
    She sighs. ‘It’s for you, Ed. Seeing as you’re so good at giving people rings, why don’t you give them one and see if you can’t get him in?’
    ‘Ha ha,’ I say, leaning down and kissing her. ‘Very funny.’
    ‘You’d be doing him a favour.’
    As I think about it, I realize that I wouldn’t just be doing him a favour, I’d be doing myself one too . By saving myself ten pounds a week on Big Issue s.
    ‘And you think they’d be okay with him? I mean, his dietary requirements are, well, special.’
    Sam smiles wryly. We both know I’ve left the word ‘brew’ off the end of that sentence. ‘It’s worth a try, isn’t it?’
    ‘Okay. I’ll give it a go.’
    Whether I can convince Billy to give the hostel a go is another thing entirely.
Saturday, 11 April
     
    9.06 a.m.
    I roll over in bed, surprised to see that Sam’s already up and pulling on her tracksuit. Groggily, I assume it must be Monday, and have a moment’s panic when I see the time.
    ‘Relax,’ she says, sitting down on the bed next to me to put her socks on. ‘It’s Saturday.’
    ‘Oh. Right.’ I pull the duvet back over my head, then sit up again suddenly. ‘Where are you off to?’
    ‘Client meeting,’ says Sam, leaping up from the bed, before disappearing into the bathroom.
    ‘On a Saturday?’
    ‘Sorry, Edward,’ she shouts, above the noise of the sink tap. ‘Couldn’t be avoided.’
    ‘Will you be long?’ I say, a little put out. Sam hasn’t had a Saturday client since we’ve been together.
    ‘An air show,’ she says, although once I’ve allowed for the fact that she’s talking to me while brushing her teeth, I realize she actually said ‘an hour or so’.
    ‘Want me to come and meet you afterwards?’
    There’s the sound of gargling, and then, after a very ladylike spit, ‘No, that’s okay. I might just go straight to the gym.’
    ‘I’ll come with you,’ I say, half-heartedly. ‘I could do with the exercise.’
    ‘No, that’s fine,’ says Sam, quickly. ‘Besides, don’t you have to meet Dan this morning?’
    ‘Dan? What for?’
    She pokes her head through the doorway and raises both eyebrows. ‘Our division of labour?’
    ‘Ah. Yes. Of course. I hadn’t forgotten,’ I say,

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