spot. He gets closer.
She points to something in the pond, and he slows his pace slightly. Laughs. When he looks at her, he does it with a certain intensity, like he really cares what she has to say. Like he's really listening.
When was the last time he looked at me that way?
As they share some private joke, they draw even closer. Pretty soon, he'll see me.
What am I going to say to him?
What am I going to do?
He runs past.
He runs past, looking at the girl beside him, and he doesn't see me.
It's like I don't even exist.
I could scream, I could run after him, but I don't. I just sit there for a moment, frozen in space, my heart pounding so hard I feel like it's shaking my entire body.
I go home, because I don't know what else to do. I think about calling him, telling him to come back here immediately, but I don't. I want to see how long he'll be gone. I need to know, even though every passing minute feels like walking on shards of glass.
I realize I still have the drunken noodles in my hand, and I put them into the fridge, carefully. It's tempting to throw them away, but they deserve more respect than that. No need to get them caught up in this mess.
At one point, I actually manage to eat a few mouthfuls. My stomach is growling in spite of myself, because I don't feel hungry, but I know I need food. My head starts racing, heart leaping with all the possibilities I'd have as a single woman. I could move anywhere! Do anything!
Of course, there's the small issue of having no money. That might be a problem.
Despair sets in again, and then anger, and then a series of emotions that can only be described by Kelly Clarkson songs. By the time I hear Dean's key click in the lock, I've settled into a stage of icy calm that belies how fast my heart is pounding.
He's talking almost before the door opens all the way. "I'll tell you what, if they don't do something about all the construction on the..."
And that's when he sees my face.
"What's wrong, Lissy?" he asks, looking concerned.
"I stopped by your office tonight," I tell him, quietly. I watch as the words sink in, the color draining from his face. "Where were you?"
"I don't know what you mean," he says, his voice very quiet. He's still just standing there, frozen, in the doorway. "I was...maybe I stepped out for a minute? The receptionist is new, she doesn't..."
"Stop it!" I shout, jumping to my feet. " I saw you at the park with her. If you're not about to tell me the truth, the entire truth...then just get the fuck out."
He sighs heavily, coming towards the sofa and sitting down. I hug my arms tighter around my torso and stare at him, waiting.
"It's been too busy to go on my runs during lunch," he says. Slowly, deliberately, like he's measuring every word. "I was plateauing. I had to start working in longer distances somehow, but it just wasn't going to fit in. Not in the middle of the workday. So I started going after."
And here it comes.
"She's my running partner, Lissy," he says, finally. "Her name is Jessica. She's a friend from work. I knew you wouldn't...because of what happened with you and Andrew, I knew you wouldn't be okay with it."
"And that's it?" I demand, jumping to my feet. "A running partner?"
"That's..." he shakes his head. "It's not what you think, Lissy. I swear. I know how this looks."
"I don't think you do." I'm trembling all over, but I won't back down. "I would have been fine with you having a running partner, and you know that. So why lie? Why hide it?"
"It wasn't just that," he says, quietly. "She's a good friend. A close friend. She has been for a long time."
I'm starting to piece it together, even through the lies. I can see it in his face. "Since before me."
He nods, wincing a little. "After you told me about Andrew and what he did to you, I figured..." He exhales heavily. "I figured it was better if you just didn't know she existed. I didn't want you to..."
"Hassle you?" I demanded. "Ask too many questions you didn't
She points to something in the pond, and he slows his pace slightly. Laughs. When he looks at her, he does it with a certain intensity, like he really cares what she has to say. Like he's really listening.
When was the last time he looked at me that way?
As they share some private joke, they draw even closer. Pretty soon, he'll see me.
What am I going to say to him?
What am I going to do?
He runs past.
He runs past, looking at the girl beside him, and he doesn't see me.
It's like I don't even exist.
I could scream, I could run after him, but I don't. I just sit there for a moment, frozen in space, my heart pounding so hard I feel like it's shaking my entire body.
I go home, because I don't know what else to do. I think about calling him, telling him to come back here immediately, but I don't. I want to see how long he'll be gone. I need to know, even though every passing minute feels like walking on shards of glass.
I realize I still have the drunken noodles in my hand, and I put them into the fridge, carefully. It's tempting to throw them away, but they deserve more respect than that. No need to get them caught up in this mess.
At one point, I actually manage to eat a few mouthfuls. My stomach is growling in spite of myself, because I don't feel hungry, but I know I need food. My head starts racing, heart leaping with all the possibilities I'd have as a single woman. I could move anywhere! Do anything!
Of course, there's the small issue of having no money. That might be a problem.
Despair sets in again, and then anger, and then a series of emotions that can only be described by Kelly Clarkson songs. By the time I hear Dean's key click in the lock, I've settled into a stage of icy calm that belies how fast my heart is pounding.
He's talking almost before the door opens all the way. "I'll tell you what, if they don't do something about all the construction on the..."
And that's when he sees my face.
"What's wrong, Lissy?" he asks, looking concerned.
"I stopped by your office tonight," I tell him, quietly. I watch as the words sink in, the color draining from his face. "Where were you?"
"I don't know what you mean," he says, his voice very quiet. He's still just standing there, frozen, in the doorway. "I was...maybe I stepped out for a minute? The receptionist is new, she doesn't..."
"Stop it!" I shout, jumping to my feet. " I saw you at the park with her. If you're not about to tell me the truth, the entire truth...then just get the fuck out."
He sighs heavily, coming towards the sofa and sitting down. I hug my arms tighter around my torso and stare at him, waiting.
"It's been too busy to go on my runs during lunch," he says. Slowly, deliberately, like he's measuring every word. "I was plateauing. I had to start working in longer distances somehow, but it just wasn't going to fit in. Not in the middle of the workday. So I started going after."
And here it comes.
"She's my running partner, Lissy," he says, finally. "Her name is Jessica. She's a friend from work. I knew you wouldn't...because of what happened with you and Andrew, I knew you wouldn't be okay with it."
"And that's it?" I demand, jumping to my feet. "A running partner?"
"That's..." he shakes his head. "It's not what you think, Lissy. I swear. I know how this looks."
"I don't think you do." I'm trembling all over, but I won't back down. "I would have been fine with you having a running partner, and you know that. So why lie? Why hide it?"
"It wasn't just that," he says, quietly. "She's a good friend. A close friend. She has been for a long time."
I'm starting to piece it together, even through the lies. I can see it in his face. "Since before me."
He nods, wincing a little. "After you told me about Andrew and what he did to you, I figured..." He exhales heavily. "I figured it was better if you just didn't know she existed. I didn't want you to..."
"Hassle you?" I demanded. "Ask too many questions you didn't
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