Teaching Kids to Think by Darlene Sweetland

Ron
    This high schooler could have been presented with an opportunity to develop a greater level of moral development. Instead, his parents were too concerned with the implications of cheating in school to let their son experience not only the punishment for cheating but the deeper moral lesson. If he were allowed to experience shame and the resulting embarrassment of disappointing the adults in his life, then he would have had the chance to grow from that experience. He would then have been able to work to earn back their trust, which is empowering and leads to stronger moral character. Instead, he was denied that chance and left with being rewarded for what he did.
    Parents Can Support Moral Development
    Moral development is less dependent on the age of the individual and focuses on the thinking and problem-solving skills they have developed.
    â€¢ Preconventional Morality: At this phase, children respond to situations based on the rules and consequences surrounding them, which determines right and wrong. Parents can help by developing clear and concise rules and consistently applying accompanying consequences. Children respond best when they know what their parents’ response is going to be.
    â€¢ Conventional Morality: Children at this phase are focused on conformity to a peer group. At this age, kids adopt the group’s sense of responsibility, views about the world, and how they will treat each other, which means a child’s peer group will have a powerful influence on the thinking and moral development of a child. Parents who are around to observe during activities that include their child’s friends are at a big advantage. Opportunities for observing include driving children and their friends to events and hosting the group at their house. Being able to discuss the difference between the family’s values and those of their peers with your child is a valuable tool to open communication.
    â€¢ Postconventional Morality: This phase of moral development and thinking seldom occurs before college, but parents of children of any age can be supportive of this process. It is at this point that individuals begin to see morality as being a responsibility to society and not just about laws and rules. Supporting a child’s drive to change how they interact with society and the rules of a community is very important.
    Parenting with a Purpose
    You will notice that at the core of all these theories is the need for children, teens, and young adults to experience challenges in order to develop the skills to move on to the next stage successfully. The process relies on children’s thinking to change as their brains develop and they are subjected to a wide range of experiences. Whether parents are pushing their children too fast through the stages or protecting them so much that their children don’t get to experience them, kids in this generation are missing the opportunity to practice the skills that are learned as they progress through each stage of development.
    Putting It All Together
    The Issue
    Everyone wants to be the best parent he or she can be. In doing so, parents want their children to meet the high expectations they set for their children to be bright, socially gifted, and of high moral character.
    The Trap
    When parents aren’t aware of the typical course of social, cognitive, and moral development of children, their expectations can exceed their child’s ability and readiness—with adverse consequences for the child.
    The Alternative
    Be aware of where your children fall in each developmental level and have reasonable expectations for them at every age. As children are moving through each stage, parents can foster learning experiences and challenges that are stage appropriate.
    It is important to remember that children can be at different levels of social, cognitive, or moral development at the same time. Compared to their peers, they may be very advanced in one or two areas