knocked
the phone—it didn’t matter. Alex and I had to talk for once and for all. For so
many years we’d done this back and forth, but now everything was different.
There was a baby to think about. It would need
things. And that took money. I could give no more away. Sat in Giles’s sitting
room, his spare key reflecting the light from the huge bay windows, I scrunched
up my face and tried to imagine what things a baby would need. Diapers and
clothes, but what else? A cot, I guessed, some toys? Maybe a
pram? It was something I had no knowledge of and I resolved once this
was done to write myself a list. Maybe Pam could help, if I swore her to
secrecy for the time being, though in truth she probably knew about as much as
I did.
When half five came around I texted Giles to
tell him I was at my place and that I’d see him later and jumped on the bus. It
was a five-minute ride to Percy’s, which despite being in a pretty rough area, sold the best
tacos. My stomach rumbled and I smiled. The baby was hungry.
The baby, I couldn’t help but stroke along my
flat stomach as I imagined it. Never had it been something I’d ever imagined
myself doing because babies were for other people. People like Pam who had a
man who adored them and the prospect of marriage and a nice house and big
family. I had Giles, and though I knew he wanted me I knew no more than that.
The bus bumped along the road and I imagined
what he would say. What he would do. Stand by me for sure, I didn’t doubt that. But how? Would our relationship continue? I sighed and
gripped the pole ready to get off at the next stop. What would happen would
happen. I could do no more than that. This, what I was doing now was the most
important thing. I’d think about Giles later.
There was an ATM a few doors down from Percy’s
and I nipped over to it quickly to withdraw some money. Keeping an eye out as I
did so. But all was well and two hundred dollars poorer I walked down to the
café ready to face the problem I’d run from for so long. No, run wasn’t the
right word. Avoided.
It had always been my way. Giles,
the men, Alex. I’d avoided confrontations, avoided having to deal with
the issue. I’d treated Giles badly. I could see that now. Hell what man would
accept an unknown guy texting the woman he was fucking? Not many that was for
sure. And rather than explaining—mainly because of how ashamed I was—I’d kicked
him aside. And then, brokenhearted I’d gone off and fucked other men.
Convincing myself it was some kind of solace, when in reality…I paused, my hand
on the handle of the door…hadn’t I just wanted Giles to notice? To see what I
was doing and step in? To tame my ways?
I sighed, the knowledge washing over me.
And now this. Alex, the man I’d treated just as badly, so badly I was still
paying for it all these years later. Well, no more.
Time to get responsible, Luce. Time to take charge.
I stroked my belly once again, hoping like hell
the baby was a girl, pushed my shoulders back and went inside. There he was, I
spotted him straight away and my stomach gave a nasty flip.
Alex James. My high school
boyfriend.
Chapter Twenty
Giles: And then you think shit. And everything tilts.
“Giles, wait up.”
“I don’t have time for this.”
“Geez, already. Walk and talk then. I just wanna know
where Luce is.”
I sighed, lengthening my stride so that Pam had
to trot to keep up. Her stilettos clacked as she moved and I looked down at them,
shaking my head. They had to be about five inches. Why did women insist on
doing that to themselves? I much preferred Lucy in flats, well, preferred her
in nothing in truth. “She’s ill.”
“Nothing serious obviously or you wouldn’t be
here.”
“Of course not,” I said, digging my car keys out
of my pocket. “She just woke up feeling poorly.”
Pam halted next to my car. Taking
a deep breath. “Woke up feeling poorly? A, with the English terms, B,
why?”
I unlocked the
the phone—it didn’t matter. Alex and I had to talk for once and for all. For so
many years we’d done this back and forth, but now everything was different.
There was a baby to think about. It would need
things. And that took money. I could give no more away. Sat in Giles’s sitting
room, his spare key reflecting the light from the huge bay windows, I scrunched
up my face and tried to imagine what things a baby would need. Diapers and
clothes, but what else? A cot, I guessed, some toys? Maybe a
pram? It was something I had no knowledge of and I resolved once this
was done to write myself a list. Maybe Pam could help, if I swore her to
secrecy for the time being, though in truth she probably knew about as much as
I did.
When half five came around I texted Giles to
tell him I was at my place and that I’d see him later and jumped on the bus. It
was a five-minute ride to Percy’s, which despite being in a pretty rough area, sold the best
tacos. My stomach rumbled and I smiled. The baby was hungry.
The baby, I couldn’t help but stroke along my
flat stomach as I imagined it. Never had it been something I’d ever imagined
myself doing because babies were for other people. People like Pam who had a
man who adored them and the prospect of marriage and a nice house and big
family. I had Giles, and though I knew he wanted me I knew no more than that.
The bus bumped along the road and I imagined
what he would say. What he would do. Stand by me for sure, I didn’t doubt that. But how? Would our relationship continue? I sighed and
gripped the pole ready to get off at the next stop. What would happen would
happen. I could do no more than that. This, what I was doing now was the most
important thing. I’d think about Giles later.
There was an ATM a few doors down from Percy’s
and I nipped over to it quickly to withdraw some money. Keeping an eye out as I
did so. But all was well and two hundred dollars poorer I walked down to the
café ready to face the problem I’d run from for so long. No, run wasn’t the
right word. Avoided.
It had always been my way. Giles,
the men, Alex. I’d avoided confrontations, avoided having to deal with
the issue. I’d treated Giles badly. I could see that now. Hell what man would
accept an unknown guy texting the woman he was fucking? Not many that was for
sure. And rather than explaining—mainly because of how ashamed I was—I’d kicked
him aside. And then, brokenhearted I’d gone off and fucked other men.
Convincing myself it was some kind of solace, when in reality…I paused, my hand
on the handle of the door…hadn’t I just wanted Giles to notice? To see what I
was doing and step in? To tame my ways?
I sighed, the knowledge washing over me.
And now this. Alex, the man I’d treated just as badly, so badly I was still
paying for it all these years later. Well, no more.
Time to get responsible, Luce. Time to take charge.
I stroked my belly once again, hoping like hell
the baby was a girl, pushed my shoulders back and went inside. There he was, I
spotted him straight away and my stomach gave a nasty flip.
Alex James. My high school
boyfriend.
Chapter Twenty
Giles: And then you think shit. And everything tilts.
“Giles, wait up.”
“I don’t have time for this.”
“Geez, already. Walk and talk then. I just wanna know
where Luce is.”
I sighed, lengthening my stride so that Pam had
to trot to keep up. Her stilettos clacked as she moved and I looked down at them,
shaking my head. They had to be about five inches. Why did women insist on
doing that to themselves? I much preferred Lucy in flats, well, preferred her
in nothing in truth. “She’s ill.”
“Nothing serious obviously or you wouldn’t be
here.”
“Of course not,” I said, digging my car keys out
of my pocket. “She just woke up feeling poorly.”
Pam halted next to my car. Taking
a deep breath. “Woke up feeling poorly? A, with the English terms, B,
why?”
I unlocked the
Similar Books
