Tales from the Emergency Room by FAAAAI MD William E. Hermance
Authors: FAAAAI MD William E. Hermance
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get back into the room and Peggy did not offer to close up the bed. So we stood and talked for a while in the hallway and our friends finally left. Lo these many years later we are all good friends still.
The White Pants Syndrome
Several of my classmates took an extra year in medical school to pursue special interests. Some interns and residents however, seemed never to finish training. This was called “The White Pants Syndrome” in which, it was speculated, the wearer was so anxious about leaving the protected learning environment of training that they put off doing so as long as possible, wearing hospital whites all the time. Not so with me, but being eager to get going on my career led to another complication. About a week before I finished training, my wife asked me what I planned to wear to the office since I had nothing much else than white pants and jackets to wear. I did not have a suit or reputable sport outfit with which to start practice. There wasn’t much money handy either, but I did manage to put a couple of outfits together to open my practice.
As I started my practice at the same time as Medicare/Medicaid began, I never saw any problem with the system. But, we sure did hear about how awful everything would be in the future from our attendings who were used to the old fee-for-service style. They all eventually adjusted!
The Condom
To celebrate the completion of my training, Peggy and I decided to do something special. Since we had about $800.00 in the bank, which would not get us very far for everyday living, and since a cruise to the Bahamas from New York in those days cost about the same amount, we decided to blow our bank account on a cruise.
Also in those days one was allowed to have guests come onto the ship to see one off. And so we entertained some people in our cabin. One of the guests was a resident in Urology.
When we received our table assignments on board, the two couples who joined us each had been give two bottles of wine as had we. And so we arranged to have one bottle each night of the cruise for our table. We had a wonderful time with these people for an entire week. On our last night, the bottle of wine which my urologist friend had given to us was produced along with a card, which did feel a bit thicker than a normal small card would. All unsuspecting, however, I tore open the envelop and watched in shock as a red and white Trojan condom flew across the room! What a stir that caused. On the line the next morning waiting to disembark, one of our tablemates announced that as they were getting ready to leave the ship, they discovered a gross of condoms hidden in a dresser drawer. It had been slipped in there by his boss at their boarding party.
The Military Years
Staten Island
It came time for me to undergo a physical exam preparatory to joining the Public Health Service (an arm of the Coast Guard) as part of my Berry Plan obligation for military service. To do this I had to go to Staten Island by ferry to the huge Public Health Hospital there. Everything went along quite well until I was leaving. Loping down the steps behind me calling my name was a hospital aide asking me to stop and waving an x-ray envelope around. I managed to see written on the folder “Do Not Show to Patient”. That was a little scary. I was shown into the radiologist’s office then and we both peered at my chest x-ray. It looked OK to me. The doctor pulled his centimeter ruler out and measured the width of my heart. Then he announced that my heart seemed to be within normal size limits after all and I proceeded on my way home.
Several days later, I got a notice asking me to reappear at the hospital because there were red blood cells in my urine. Immediately, I remembered that I had given the specimen directly after a digital rectal exam, which even I knew might push some red blood cells into my urine. Of course, upon examination of the new specimen the results were normal.
My wife accompanied me on
The White Pants Syndrome
Several of my classmates took an extra year in medical school to pursue special interests. Some interns and residents however, seemed never to finish training. This was called “The White Pants Syndrome” in which, it was speculated, the wearer was so anxious about leaving the protected learning environment of training that they put off doing so as long as possible, wearing hospital whites all the time. Not so with me, but being eager to get going on my career led to another complication. About a week before I finished training, my wife asked me what I planned to wear to the office since I had nothing much else than white pants and jackets to wear. I did not have a suit or reputable sport outfit with which to start practice. There wasn’t much money handy either, but I did manage to put a couple of outfits together to open my practice.
As I started my practice at the same time as Medicare/Medicaid began, I never saw any problem with the system. But, we sure did hear about how awful everything would be in the future from our attendings who were used to the old fee-for-service style. They all eventually adjusted!
The Condom
To celebrate the completion of my training, Peggy and I decided to do something special. Since we had about $800.00 in the bank, which would not get us very far for everyday living, and since a cruise to the Bahamas from New York in those days cost about the same amount, we decided to blow our bank account on a cruise.
Also in those days one was allowed to have guests come onto the ship to see one off. And so we entertained some people in our cabin. One of the guests was a resident in Urology.
When we received our table assignments on board, the two couples who joined us each had been give two bottles of wine as had we. And so we arranged to have one bottle each night of the cruise for our table. We had a wonderful time with these people for an entire week. On our last night, the bottle of wine which my urologist friend had given to us was produced along with a card, which did feel a bit thicker than a normal small card would. All unsuspecting, however, I tore open the envelop and watched in shock as a red and white Trojan condom flew across the room! What a stir that caused. On the line the next morning waiting to disembark, one of our tablemates announced that as they were getting ready to leave the ship, they discovered a gross of condoms hidden in a dresser drawer. It had been slipped in there by his boss at their boarding party.
The Military Years
Staten Island
It came time for me to undergo a physical exam preparatory to joining the Public Health Service (an arm of the Coast Guard) as part of my Berry Plan obligation for military service. To do this I had to go to Staten Island by ferry to the huge Public Health Hospital there. Everything went along quite well until I was leaving. Loping down the steps behind me calling my name was a hospital aide asking me to stop and waving an x-ray envelope around. I managed to see written on the folder “Do Not Show to Patient”. That was a little scary. I was shown into the radiologist’s office then and we both peered at my chest x-ray. It looked OK to me. The doctor pulled his centimeter ruler out and measured the width of my heart. Then he announced that my heart seemed to be within normal size limits after all and I proceeded on my way home.
Several days later, I got a notice asking me to reappear at the hospital because there were red blood cells in my urine. Immediately, I remembered that I had given the specimen directly after a digital rectal exam, which even I knew might push some red blood cells into my urine. Of course, upon examination of the new specimen the results were normal.
My wife accompanied me on
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