Superluminal by Vonda N. McIntyre Page B

remained unscorched. Kathell went back
inside and unfolded the satin shroud. In its center lay a scattering of gray
dust. She gathered it up in a small cloth bag.
    “Go away now.” She was shivering. “Go
—” The bravado trembled and broke. She turned away, silently
crying, fighting for control.
    Radu touched her shoulder, brushing the soft fabric of her
gown with his fingertips. She flinched away from him, then abruptly flung
herself around and against him. Radu held her, stroking her hair and comforting
her as he might a child. She felt like a child, she was so small and frail. For
a moment he was back on Twilight, hugging his younger sister, who had come to
him terrified and ill with the plague’s first symptoms. She died the next
day. The fear and pain and grief of those terrible weeks returned.
    Kathell struggled against every tear she shed. Then, in a
change as abrupt as all her other changes, she shrugged Radu’s hands from
her shoulders and stepped out of his reach. Silhouetted by the light behind
her, she wiped her face roughly on her sleeve.
    “I told you to leave me alone!” she said, angry
and resentful. “I never asked for your help. What do you want?”
    Radu shook his head, startled and confused. “I
don’t want anything.”
    “I owe you now! I won’t leave debts
unpaid!”
    “I want nothing from you,” he said, feeling as
if he had given an unwelcome gift, then demanded reciprocation. “You are
Laenea’s friend, and you were kind to me as well.”
    “That wasn’t kindness,” she said sharply.
“I didn’t even notice it. That has nothing to do with this.”
    “Nonsense,” Radu said. “If you feel that a
few minutes of time and sympathy need to be repaid, then I am repaying
you.”
    “I don’t permit anything I give to be
repaid!” she said.
    “Then permit me the same courtesy.” The
conversation had evolved into a strange and disquieting game, which he expected
at every move to be ended with Kathell’s being convinced that he had no
secret motives.
    “No,” Kathell said. “Courtesy has nothing
to do with it. I owe you. I do not like to be in debt. Is that so hard to
understand?”
    “You are not in my debt,” Radu said. He felt as
if he had been repeating himself for a long time. “This is trivial. This
is silly! Why are you insisting that I demand something of you when I want
nothing?”
    “Because if once I accept something, I’ll never
stop!” she shouted. She took one quick step toward him with her fists
clenched and her eyes narrowed to slits. “I’ll not be accused of
that ever again!”
    The outburst shocked him. “Who accused you of such a
thing? And why would you believe it?”
    “You don’t know me,” Kathell said.
“You never will, and gods willing neither will anyone else.”
    “I ask you to forgive me this debt,” Radu said.
“That’s all I want, for you to believe I want nothing.”
    “Don’t insult me!” she cried.
“You’re saying my reasons are meaningless and they are not !”
    Radu reached out to her, in supplication, but she struck his
hand away. Angry at her for misunderstanding his motion, Radu stepped back and
gradually unclenched his fists.
    “I want nothing from you,” he said again.
“I will accept nothing. I’m leaving earth. With any luck I’ll
never see it, or you, again.” He walked around her, staying well out of
reach, to continue on his way.
    “I owe you. And I intend to pay you and be done with
it.”
    Radu flushed scarlet in anger and humiliation, but he kept
on walking.
    “Choose,” Kathell said behind him. “And
pick something soon, or you’ll have made yourself an enemy.”
    Radu did not look back.
    Trams passed him several times, moving silently through the
darkness along their magnetic tracks. Toward the center of the spaceport bright
lights waxed and waned among clouds of vapor from supercooled fuel.
    He was still angry and upset when he reached the control
office, which lay nestled in a low complex of