Things we did not mean.”
“I know,” I answered. “Please, let’s just forget the whole thing. I just want to-”
Alex began to stir, causing me to silence myself. Julien placed a solid hand on Alex’s back and whispered huskily to me, “We can’t avoid the conversation, Chérie , but I promise to be more tactful the next chance we get to try it again.”
He was right. We obviously had to eventually cross the proverbial bridge of where we stood in regards to each other and Alex. I answered him with a half smile and a nod, and stood. “I smell like a Bar-B-Q,” I whispered. “I’m going to go take a shower. Let’s talk tonight?”
He nodded in answer. I don’t know if it was my imagination, or the fact that I was overly tired, but his eyes seemed filled with emotion. Sadness? Relief? I couldn’t be sure. I broke eye contact and gazed at his large hand splayed across Alex’s small back. The sight of the two of them snuggled together like it was the most natural thing in the world pulled at something inside of me. I left before I had to acknowledge the surge of feelings.
Alex must have awakened while I showered because I could hear him giggling downstairs. I was on my way down to greet him when I heard the side door open and close, and silence descended upon the house. I made my way into the kitchen where Nan sat at the table with a mug of tea.
“Would you like some tea, Lara?” she asked.
“I can get it -” I started to say when Nan cut me off.
“Don’t be silly. You go and sit down. I’ll bring it out to you in a minute.” She waved me toward the solarium with such authority I didn’t dare argue.
I sat down in a large, fan backed wicker chair that faced out to the yard. After a beat, Alex and Julien wandered into my view. They were across the yard, near the gate to the chicken coop. Alex was holding a stick and whacking at the shrubbery. He stopped suddenly and made a grab for his crotch. Julien knelt down beside him, and a smile spread across my face as I realized what was transpiring. I watched as Julien helped Alex with his pants, then the two of them proceeded to water the plants. They stood side by side, their backs to me. Alex was still quite small, but he had his father’s frame. His shoulders were still the slight shoulders of a toddler, but the shape mimicked that of the man standing beside him.
When the boys had put themselves back to rights, Julien turned toward the house and caught sight of me. His brows rose in surprise, and a shy smile touched at his lips. He shrugged sheepishly and turned back to Alex who was once again whacking at any bush within reach. Nan came up behind me with my tea.
“Here you go dear. Oh! Look at that. If that isn’t a pretty picture.” She shook her head at the scene taking place in the yard; father and son, playing in the afternoon shade. Julien began to steer Alex closer to the house. When they were about three yards away, Julien drew Alex’s attention to me in the solarium. His eyes lit up with excited recognition and he ran to put his little hands against the glass. I knelt down and placed my hands against the glass where his were.
“Mama! I pee-peed like a big boy!” I could hear his excitement, muffled though it was through the glass barrier. I smiled and nodded enthusiastically in encouragement. It was wonderful to see him enjoying Julien’s tutelage. There was definite hero-worship emanating from him every time he looked at Julien. I blushed slightly, realizing Nan must be witnessing the hero-worship emanating from me . I took a cleansing breath and turned toward Nan to accept my tea.
I took a sip, more to hide my embarrassment than from any real thirst. It was not my regular peppermint, but it was delicious.
“Thanks, Nan. You always make the best tea. Is this a new flavor?”
Nan winked at me and patted my shoulder as she turned to leave. “It’s a French/Italian blend. It struck me as something you might like.”
My jaw
“I know,” I answered. “Please, let’s just forget the whole thing. I just want to-”
Alex began to stir, causing me to silence myself. Julien placed a solid hand on Alex’s back and whispered huskily to me, “We can’t avoid the conversation, Chérie , but I promise to be more tactful the next chance we get to try it again.”
He was right. We obviously had to eventually cross the proverbial bridge of where we stood in regards to each other and Alex. I answered him with a half smile and a nod, and stood. “I smell like a Bar-B-Q,” I whispered. “I’m going to go take a shower. Let’s talk tonight?”
He nodded in answer. I don’t know if it was my imagination, or the fact that I was overly tired, but his eyes seemed filled with emotion. Sadness? Relief? I couldn’t be sure. I broke eye contact and gazed at his large hand splayed across Alex’s small back. The sight of the two of them snuggled together like it was the most natural thing in the world pulled at something inside of me. I left before I had to acknowledge the surge of feelings.
Alex must have awakened while I showered because I could hear him giggling downstairs. I was on my way down to greet him when I heard the side door open and close, and silence descended upon the house. I made my way into the kitchen where Nan sat at the table with a mug of tea.
“Would you like some tea, Lara?” she asked.
“I can get it -” I started to say when Nan cut me off.
“Don’t be silly. You go and sit down. I’ll bring it out to you in a minute.” She waved me toward the solarium with such authority I didn’t dare argue.
I sat down in a large, fan backed wicker chair that faced out to the yard. After a beat, Alex and Julien wandered into my view. They were across the yard, near the gate to the chicken coop. Alex was holding a stick and whacking at the shrubbery. He stopped suddenly and made a grab for his crotch. Julien knelt down beside him, and a smile spread across my face as I realized what was transpiring. I watched as Julien helped Alex with his pants, then the two of them proceeded to water the plants. They stood side by side, their backs to me. Alex was still quite small, but he had his father’s frame. His shoulders were still the slight shoulders of a toddler, but the shape mimicked that of the man standing beside him.
When the boys had put themselves back to rights, Julien turned toward the house and caught sight of me. His brows rose in surprise, and a shy smile touched at his lips. He shrugged sheepishly and turned back to Alex who was once again whacking at any bush within reach. Nan came up behind me with my tea.
“Here you go dear. Oh! Look at that. If that isn’t a pretty picture.” She shook her head at the scene taking place in the yard; father and son, playing in the afternoon shade. Julien began to steer Alex closer to the house. When they were about three yards away, Julien drew Alex’s attention to me in the solarium. His eyes lit up with excited recognition and he ran to put his little hands against the glass. I knelt down and placed my hands against the glass where his were.
“Mama! I pee-peed like a big boy!” I could hear his excitement, muffled though it was through the glass barrier. I smiled and nodded enthusiastically in encouragement. It was wonderful to see him enjoying Julien’s tutelage. There was definite hero-worship emanating from him every time he looked at Julien. I blushed slightly, realizing Nan must be witnessing the hero-worship emanating from me . I took a cleansing breath and turned toward Nan to accept my tea.
I took a sip, more to hide my embarrassment than from any real thirst. It was not my regular peppermint, but it was delicious.
“Thanks, Nan. You always make the best tea. Is this a new flavor?”
Nan winked at me and patted my shoulder as she turned to leave. “It’s a French/Italian blend. It struck me as something you might like.”
My jaw
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