most appalling publicity.
Scientist (Christopher Lee) explaining the problem in
Gremlins 2: The New Batch,
1990
On Puns, Large:
You know what they wrote about me in the high school yearbook? The man most likely to reach the top!
The really tall colossal man talking to his fiancée in
The Amazing Colossal Man,
1957
On Puns, Truly Terrible:
You go for deserts while I’m hot for peaks, and not just through doors, either.
Mountain climber Grant Williams to girlfriend Connie Stevens in
Susan Slade,
1961
On Put-downs, Snappy:
Dewey:
How ’bout it? Come on. Let’s hit the high spots.
Girlfriend:
Why don’t you go somewhere and catch yourself, you foul ball!
Conrad Janis (Dewey), the bad boy, and a friend in
That Hagen Girl,
1947, starring Shirley Temple and Ronald Reagan
Q
On Queens, Potentially Fecund:
My breasts are full of love and life. My hips are round and well apart. Such women, they say, have sons.
Cleopatra (Elizabeth Taylor) seducing Caesar (Rex Harrison) in
Cleopatra,
1963
On Questions About the Neighbors, Intriguing:
How many of our neighbors have their girlfriends’ heads in their freezers?
Wife of philandering husband Peter Gallagher in
Virtual Obsession,
1998
On Questions, Good:
We sold our bodies; why can’t we sell some wood?
Interesting question posed by liberated western gal soon-to-be-entrepreneur in
Bad Girls,
1994, starring Andie MacDowell, Drew Barrymore, Madeleine Stowe, and Mary Stuart Masterson
On Questions, Happening:
Holy cow! Are you going to turn into a swinger?
Jeanette Nolan querying
Vogue
editor Mia Farrow when they meet at a ritzy ski lodge in
Avalanche,
1978
On Questions, Hard to Answer:
So you think you can be my tiger, drunken mantis?
Kung fu movie line, quoted in
Mondo Macabo,
1977
On Questions Often Asked by Seminude Native Women:
Kiss? What is kiss?
Scantily clad island woman, getting to know a washed-ashore sailor in
Pagan Island,
1960
On Questions, Oh-So-Cosmic:
Is one happier, do you think, with ten years of happiness than if one has ten minutes or ten days?
Jane Fonda as the young girl in love with Peter Finch in
In the Cool of the Day,
1963
On Questions, Questions:
Where are my tits? Where are my tits!?
Myron (Rex Reed), waking up in the hospital in
Myra Breckinridge,
1970
On Questions, Shocking:
You used your own granddaughter to give birth to a race of army elves?
Shocked department-store Santa asking a question of a Nazi scientist who has been doing some naughty experiments in
Elves,
1989
On Questions, Too Hip for Words:
What do you think of the concept? The unstructured, the loosey-goosey, Monterey Pop, Woodstock kind of thing?
Media mogul Irene Hervey, trying to be psychedelic in
Play Misty for Me,
1971
On Questions, Unanswerable, Part 1:
What type of women are these, who attack men and live in trees?
Narrator in the prehistoric love-story movie
Prehistoric Women,
1950
On Questions, Unanswerable, Part 2:
Give me a sign if you’re still alive!
Confused prospector to his partner who is stuck full of arrows in
Revenge of the Virgins,
1962
On Questions We Bet You Can’t Answer:
WHAT’S THE SECRET INGREDIENT USED BY THE MAD BUTCHER FOR HIS SUPERB SAUSAGES?
Ad for
Meat Is Meat,
1971
On Questions We’ve Never Asked:
How many people do you know can cross the Atlantic with only a hunk of salami as luggage?
Patti Page (playing herself) to Louella Parsons discussing a brave little Italian orphan in
Dondi,
1961
On Questions We’ve Never Been Asked:
Have you ever been collared and dragged out in the street and thrashed by a naked woman?
Elizabeth Taylor as a frustrated wife in
Reflections in a Golden Eye,
1967
R
On Race Relations, Head Transplantation Problems with:
Doctor:
Max, listen to me. We did it. We transplanted your head. We did it, Max. And everything is checking out properly. Max, it’s going to work.
Max (regaining consciousness):
I knew it would. My God, I knew it would! I can feel it. I can breathe with it. In
Scientist (Christopher Lee) explaining the problem in
Gremlins 2: The New Batch,
1990
On Puns, Large:
You know what they wrote about me in the high school yearbook? The man most likely to reach the top!
The really tall colossal man talking to his fiancée in
The Amazing Colossal Man,
1957
On Puns, Truly Terrible:
You go for deserts while I’m hot for peaks, and not just through doors, either.
Mountain climber Grant Williams to girlfriend Connie Stevens in
Susan Slade,
1961
On Put-downs, Snappy:
Dewey:
How ’bout it? Come on. Let’s hit the high spots.
Girlfriend:
Why don’t you go somewhere and catch yourself, you foul ball!
Conrad Janis (Dewey), the bad boy, and a friend in
That Hagen Girl,
1947, starring Shirley Temple and Ronald Reagan
Q
On Queens, Potentially Fecund:
My breasts are full of love and life. My hips are round and well apart. Such women, they say, have sons.
Cleopatra (Elizabeth Taylor) seducing Caesar (Rex Harrison) in
Cleopatra,
1963
On Questions About the Neighbors, Intriguing:
How many of our neighbors have their girlfriends’ heads in their freezers?
Wife of philandering husband Peter Gallagher in
Virtual Obsession,
1998
On Questions, Good:
We sold our bodies; why can’t we sell some wood?
Interesting question posed by liberated western gal soon-to-be-entrepreneur in
Bad Girls,
1994, starring Andie MacDowell, Drew Barrymore, Madeleine Stowe, and Mary Stuart Masterson
On Questions, Happening:
Holy cow! Are you going to turn into a swinger?
Jeanette Nolan querying
Vogue
editor Mia Farrow when they meet at a ritzy ski lodge in
Avalanche,
1978
On Questions, Hard to Answer:
So you think you can be my tiger, drunken mantis?
Kung fu movie line, quoted in
Mondo Macabo,
1977
On Questions Often Asked by Seminude Native Women:
Kiss? What is kiss?
Scantily clad island woman, getting to know a washed-ashore sailor in
Pagan Island,
1960
On Questions, Oh-So-Cosmic:
Is one happier, do you think, with ten years of happiness than if one has ten minutes or ten days?
Jane Fonda as the young girl in love with Peter Finch in
In the Cool of the Day,
1963
On Questions, Questions:
Where are my tits? Where are my tits!?
Myron (Rex Reed), waking up in the hospital in
Myra Breckinridge,
1970
On Questions, Shocking:
You used your own granddaughter to give birth to a race of army elves?
Shocked department-store Santa asking a question of a Nazi scientist who has been doing some naughty experiments in
Elves,
1989
On Questions, Too Hip for Words:
What do you think of the concept? The unstructured, the loosey-goosey, Monterey Pop, Woodstock kind of thing?
Media mogul Irene Hervey, trying to be psychedelic in
Play Misty for Me,
1971
On Questions, Unanswerable, Part 1:
What type of women are these, who attack men and live in trees?
Narrator in the prehistoric love-story movie
Prehistoric Women,
1950
On Questions, Unanswerable, Part 2:
Give me a sign if you’re still alive!
Confused prospector to his partner who is stuck full of arrows in
Revenge of the Virgins,
1962
On Questions We Bet You Can’t Answer:
WHAT’S THE SECRET INGREDIENT USED BY THE MAD BUTCHER FOR HIS SUPERB SAUSAGES?
Ad for
Meat Is Meat,
1971
On Questions We’ve Never Asked:
How many people do you know can cross the Atlantic with only a hunk of salami as luggage?
Patti Page (playing herself) to Louella Parsons discussing a brave little Italian orphan in
Dondi,
1961
On Questions We’ve Never Been Asked:
Have you ever been collared and dragged out in the street and thrashed by a naked woman?
Elizabeth Taylor as a frustrated wife in
Reflections in a Golden Eye,
1967
R
On Race Relations, Head Transplantation Problems with:
Doctor:
Max, listen to me. We did it. We transplanted your head. We did it, Max. And everything is checking out properly. Max, it’s going to work.
Max (regaining consciousness):
I knew it would. My God, I knew it would! I can feel it. I can breathe with it. In
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