face
Twisted in disbelief, her body trembling
As the realization that her life was finished
Washed over her.
Her mouth was open but all that I could
Hear was the wailing of her soul
As they hustled her from the chaos of the courtroom
Into the chaos of the foreverness
That was to be her punishment.
Guilty of possession and distribution
Twenty-five years to life
How could they know she had never possessed
Anything worth the while
Had never distributed anything except pieces of herself
Which she gave freely
To those in need, or to those who, like
Her, were broken, and needed a fix?
She possessed nothing as they led
Her, handcuffed, away
What she left behind
Forlorn and weeping in the second row of benches
Were not her children,
Lost and desperate in the whirlwind
My head is filled with images
Of Melissa and me on the court steps
She crying and clinging to my skirt
Me crying and clinging to a distant God
As we made our way to the bus terminal
For the long journey home.
My head is filled with images
That mare at night and tear at my flesh
There is no rational corner in my head
Beyond making tea for Melissa
Beyond making conversation with Miss Ruby
Nothing to make my legs move in the
Direction of our apartment as if there
Were sense to moving
If anyone could look into my head
See or feel the dread that has captured
Me or see within this sad, unhappy brain
They would only turn away
Turn away.
MELISSA AMBERS
Mommy seemed a hundred miles away
In the yellow-light
Courtroom
With all of the people standing at the tables
And Mommy was smaller
Than they were
Even though everybody says
She is so tall
The judge pushed his glasses
Up on his nose when he was talking
But Mommy just looked
Down
When the judge said how
Long Mommy would be in jail
A terrible sound came out of
Junice
A hurt sound
A Uhhh! sound
Her body jerked forward
I was so scared
So scared
People were shuffling papers
They swished as people
Stood and their feet
Cluffed across the floor
Mommy turned
Her eyes were dark and
Wild as if she were
Seeing a monster coming
I turned to see what Mommy saw
But all I saw was the people leaving
Through the big doors in the back
When I turned back to Mommy
There was just a little piece of her left
Between the big policemen
My skin was crawling
And my arms were shaking
Miss Ruby called out in the courtroom
She said “Be strong, daughter!”
Junice said I was crying.
I don’t remember crying but afterward
Afterward
My throat was sore
RUBY AMBERS
Yeah, it’s hard, baby
It’s hard right down to the bone
I said Oh, it’s hard baby
It’s hard right down to the very bone
It’s hard when you’re a woman
And you find yourself all alone
I’ve been flapping and scrapping
And running from door to door
You know I’ve been flapping and scrapping, honey
Running from door to door
I ain’t what I used to be, ain’t really Miss Ruby anymore
Oh, daughter, daughter, daughter,
Why you chasing White Girl dreams?
Yes, oh, daughter, daughter,
Why you chasing White Girl dreams?
Them rainbows you were finding,
Ain’t really what they seems to be.
I told Junice to get herself on up
We ain’t no trifling women
I been knocked down and flung around
“Junice, why you looking so sad, baby?
You got your Miss Ruby here, ain’t you?
You and Lissa gonna be all right.
Miss Ruby’s been scruffed and roughed
In her day but she don’t lay down.
No sir. You mama will be home ’fore
You know it.”
“She got twenty-five years, Miss Ruby.”
“We Ambers women. We been down and we
Been up. We don’t tip and run. No, we sure
Don’t. I had your mama on a cold day
In December, thirty-some—how old is Leslie?
Never mind, you ask her when she come Home.”
“She got twenty-five years, Miss Ruby.”
“When she come home we got to sit
Down and have a family talk. My
Aunt Louise used to say that once in
A while you had to have a family talk
Get
Twisted in disbelief, her body trembling
As the realization that her life was finished
Washed over her.
Her mouth was open but all that I could
Hear was the wailing of her soul
As they hustled her from the chaos of the courtroom
Into the chaos of the foreverness
That was to be her punishment.
Guilty of possession and distribution
Twenty-five years to life
How could they know she had never possessed
Anything worth the while
Had never distributed anything except pieces of herself
Which she gave freely
To those in need, or to those who, like
Her, were broken, and needed a fix?
She possessed nothing as they led
Her, handcuffed, away
What she left behind
Forlorn and weeping in the second row of benches
Were not her children,
Lost and desperate in the whirlwind
My head is filled with images
Of Melissa and me on the court steps
She crying and clinging to my skirt
Me crying and clinging to a distant God
As we made our way to the bus terminal
For the long journey home.
My head is filled with images
That mare at night and tear at my flesh
There is no rational corner in my head
Beyond making tea for Melissa
Beyond making conversation with Miss Ruby
Nothing to make my legs move in the
Direction of our apartment as if there
Were sense to moving
If anyone could look into my head
See or feel the dread that has captured
Me or see within this sad, unhappy brain
They would only turn away
Turn away.
MELISSA AMBERS
Mommy seemed a hundred miles away
In the yellow-light
Courtroom
With all of the people standing at the tables
And Mommy was smaller
Than they were
Even though everybody says
She is so tall
The judge pushed his glasses
Up on his nose when he was talking
But Mommy just looked
Down
When the judge said how
Long Mommy would be in jail
A terrible sound came out of
Junice
A hurt sound
A Uhhh! sound
Her body jerked forward
I was so scared
So scared
People were shuffling papers
They swished as people
Stood and their feet
Cluffed across the floor
Mommy turned
Her eyes were dark and
Wild as if she were
Seeing a monster coming
I turned to see what Mommy saw
But all I saw was the people leaving
Through the big doors in the back
When I turned back to Mommy
There was just a little piece of her left
Between the big policemen
My skin was crawling
And my arms were shaking
Miss Ruby called out in the courtroom
She said “Be strong, daughter!”
Junice said I was crying.
I don’t remember crying but afterward
Afterward
My throat was sore
RUBY AMBERS
Yeah, it’s hard, baby
It’s hard right down to the bone
I said Oh, it’s hard baby
It’s hard right down to the very bone
It’s hard when you’re a woman
And you find yourself all alone
I’ve been flapping and scrapping
And running from door to door
You know I’ve been flapping and scrapping, honey
Running from door to door
I ain’t what I used to be, ain’t really Miss Ruby anymore
Oh, daughter, daughter, daughter,
Why you chasing White Girl dreams?
Yes, oh, daughter, daughter,
Why you chasing White Girl dreams?
Them rainbows you were finding,
Ain’t really what they seems to be.
I told Junice to get herself on up
We ain’t no trifling women
I been knocked down and flung around
“Junice, why you looking so sad, baby?
You got your Miss Ruby here, ain’t you?
You and Lissa gonna be all right.
Miss Ruby’s been scruffed and roughed
In her day but she don’t lay down.
No sir. You mama will be home ’fore
You know it.”
“She got twenty-five years, Miss Ruby.”
“We Ambers women. We been down and we
Been up. We don’t tip and run. No, we sure
Don’t. I had your mama on a cold day
In December, thirty-some—how old is Leslie?
Never mind, you ask her when she come Home.”
“She got twenty-five years, Miss Ruby.”
“When she come home we got to sit
Down and have a family talk. My
Aunt Louise used to say that once in
A while you had to have a family talk
Get
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