would help me move past what had happened with Rob.
I never knew just what J was capable of until Rob. I shuddered thinking about it but the thing was, I had to think about it. I had pushed it to the deep recesses of my mind for too long now. It had everything to do with why J and I broke up, so in order for me to start sorting through my feelings about him, I needed to work through this first.
*****
“S o, I hear you’re staying,” my Mum said as she made us coffee. She had been happy to see me and I could hear the relief in her voice now.
I smiled; it was so good to see her. “Yes,” I took a moment to get the words out right, “I haven’t wanted to come back because I wasn’t sure how I would cope with everything here. I thought that seeing J again would he hard and to be honest, I was trying to get away from the club. But you know what? I think I’ve missed the club and even though he is pissing me off, I’m okay with being around J.”
She nodded, “You were in a pretty bad way when you left, Maddy, but I think you just needed that time away to get your head together. It’s done you good, honey.”
“I want to stay so I can watch out for Crystal but being here with you now, I realise I’ve really missed you, even if you are overbearing sometimes,” I said with a cheeky smile.
Mum laughed, “I’ve been good lately, haven’t I?” she asked.
“Yeah, Mum, you have. And I need you to let me do things my way if I’ve got any chance of starting over here and keeping my shit together. Okay?”
She held up her hands. “Okay, okay. So, what’s your plan? Do you want to move in here with us until you sort yourself out? I know your father would love to have you here.”
“He’s got a funny way of showing it. He bit my head off yesterday.”
“He is very stressed at the moment with what is happening with Nix. Honey, he has been worried about you and yeah, pissed off with you. He just wanted you home where he knew you were safe and all you did was fight it. He and Scott have been constantly arguing about you and I’ve got to say, it’s been pretty hard living with him the last little while. So, I am really happy you are home.”
“What do you mean they have been arguing about me?” I asked, having no clue what she could possibly mean.
“Your father would have just come and dragged you home, nothing would have stopped him. But Scott stood up to him and argued that it had to be your decision. He understands how hard it has been for you, and he was so proud of you for quitting drinking; he just didn’t want you to go backwards.”
Well, fuck me. Scott was actually on my side. News to me. “Men! I can’t fucking work them out,” I said, totally exasperated with it all.
“Join the club, but I’ll tell you one thing, and you make sure you listen closely. Scott and your father love you and will do anything for you. This vendetta against Nix started after he beat you, and it has only gotten worse since then. It has put a lot of pressure on Storm and they have copped that. For you. So, you need to cut them some slack and start working with them rather than against them.”
“The problem is that they never give me the full story. You know what they are like...”
She cut me off, “Yes, I know exactly what they are like, Madison, but the difference between you and me is that I trust them. I know in my gut that everything they are doing is for us and for the club. I don’t need to know the details but you seem hell bent on having to know every little thing. And you haven’t ever given them your complete trust. Dare I say it, but I think that’s where a lot of your problems with J come from too; you didn’t trust him.”
“How can I trust any of them when they don’t trust me enough to tell me stuff?” I argued.
My mother sighed; that sigh I had grown up with that told me she was getting frustrated with me.
I never knew just what J was capable of until Rob. I shuddered thinking about it but the thing was, I had to think about it. I had pushed it to the deep recesses of my mind for too long now. It had everything to do with why J and I broke up, so in order for me to start sorting through my feelings about him, I needed to work through this first.
*****
“S o, I hear you’re staying,” my Mum said as she made us coffee. She had been happy to see me and I could hear the relief in her voice now.
I smiled; it was so good to see her. “Yes,” I took a moment to get the words out right, “I haven’t wanted to come back because I wasn’t sure how I would cope with everything here. I thought that seeing J again would he hard and to be honest, I was trying to get away from the club. But you know what? I think I’ve missed the club and even though he is pissing me off, I’m okay with being around J.”
She nodded, “You were in a pretty bad way when you left, Maddy, but I think you just needed that time away to get your head together. It’s done you good, honey.”
“I want to stay so I can watch out for Crystal but being here with you now, I realise I’ve really missed you, even if you are overbearing sometimes,” I said with a cheeky smile.
Mum laughed, “I’ve been good lately, haven’t I?” she asked.
“Yeah, Mum, you have. And I need you to let me do things my way if I’ve got any chance of starting over here and keeping my shit together. Okay?”
She held up her hands. “Okay, okay. So, what’s your plan? Do you want to move in here with us until you sort yourself out? I know your father would love to have you here.”
“He’s got a funny way of showing it. He bit my head off yesterday.”
“He is very stressed at the moment with what is happening with Nix. Honey, he has been worried about you and yeah, pissed off with you. He just wanted you home where he knew you were safe and all you did was fight it. He and Scott have been constantly arguing about you and I’ve got to say, it’s been pretty hard living with him the last little while. So, I am really happy you are home.”
“What do you mean they have been arguing about me?” I asked, having no clue what she could possibly mean.
“Your father would have just come and dragged you home, nothing would have stopped him. But Scott stood up to him and argued that it had to be your decision. He understands how hard it has been for you, and he was so proud of you for quitting drinking; he just didn’t want you to go backwards.”
Well, fuck me. Scott was actually on my side. News to me. “Men! I can’t fucking work them out,” I said, totally exasperated with it all.
“Join the club, but I’ll tell you one thing, and you make sure you listen closely. Scott and your father love you and will do anything for you. This vendetta against Nix started after he beat you, and it has only gotten worse since then. It has put a lot of pressure on Storm and they have copped that. For you. So, you need to cut them some slack and start working with them rather than against them.”
“The problem is that they never give me the full story. You know what they are like...”
She cut me off, “Yes, I know exactly what they are like, Madison, but the difference between you and me is that I trust them. I know in my gut that everything they are doing is for us and for the club. I don’t need to know the details but you seem hell bent on having to know every little thing. And you haven’t ever given them your complete trust. Dare I say it, but I think that’s where a lot of your problems with J come from too; you didn’t trust him.”
“How can I trust any of them when they don’t trust me enough to tell me stuff?” I argued.
My mother sighed; that sigh I had grown up with that told me she was getting frustrated with me.
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