Chapter 1
“Happy Engagement Blaze and Lisa!” declares the sign on the front door.
It’s now or never, I tell myself as I take a deep breath and push it open. Let’s get this over with so you can go home, put on sweatpants and cry into your ice cream.
I walk into the party and as if a record scratches, all eyes turn to me, the same look of surprise on everyone’s face.
“I didn’t think she’d come,” someone whispers.
“How long’s it been? Nine years?” someone whispers back.
“At least,” is the reply. “Probably more than that.”
Ignoring the attention, I wave casually and go in search of Mirabeth, the old friend who invited me here. And because the universe hates me, that’s precisely when I collide with a broad chest wearing a finely tailored black suit jacket.
I don’t have to look up to know who it is. I’d know him anywhere by the feel of his arms and his broad chest, the rhythm of his breathing, and the restless male energy radiating from him.
. Blaze. My first love. The one man I’ll never, ever have.
Ten years earlier…
My mom and my stepdad were having one of their drunken brawls. This one was epic, even by their standards, probably on account of it being Christmas Eve. The holidays always brought out the worst in them.
No one would ever guess that the Everly’s, the perfect family who lived in the biggest house on the best block in town, members of the country club with enviable good looks and powerful social connections, were wildly dysfunctional drunks.
There was a crash and the wall shook. “And the next time you fuck your secretary,” my mom screamed. “Don’t buy her lingerie from our checking account, you pencil dicked pile of shit!”
Ugh. I buried my head under my pillow, not wanting to hear any more about my step father’s private parts.
“ What does it matter, Madeline?” my stepfather bellowed. “Your old twat is dried up anyway. You just want me to be as miserable as you, and I refuse! Do you understand? I refuse!”
I threw my pillow at the wall, pushing myself out of bed and plodding out of the room. A moment later, I knocked softly on my stepbrother’s door. He didn’t reply, and a glance under the door told me that his light was off. I figured he was sleeping but I didn’t want to go back to my room.
I cracked open his door and peeked in, just in time to see a frantic pumping motion under his blanket, which stopped abruptly a second later when he saw me at the door. I froze, surprised and confused.
“Jess, is that you?” Blaze asked softly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry to bother you.” There was a quiver in my voice I hadn’t expected. “I just…they were fighting, and—“
“Yeah, they’re really going at it tonight,” he said.
“I hate Christmas,” I said. “They do this every year.”
“They do this every week,” he said. As always, the deep rumble of his voice put me at ease.
“I can’t stand them sometimes,” I said, walking in and joining him under the covers. I was careful to keep a safe distance between us in case he’d been doing what I thought he was doing when I walked in, but didn’t want to think about.
I was only a sophomore in high school, but I wasn’t completely innocent. I had two close friends who’d already lost their virginity, and they filled me in on the basic details of the male anatomy.
I’d never seen an actual penis, but I knew what boys did. I understood from Blaze’s frantic motions under the covers that he was probably jerking off when I walked in. I just didn’t want to think about it because it was Blaze.
“Make yourself comfortable,” he joked.
“Sorry, I just can’t stand listening to them. Will you talk to
“Happy Engagement Blaze and Lisa!” declares the sign on the front door.
It’s now or never, I tell myself as I take a deep breath and push it open. Let’s get this over with so you can go home, put on sweatpants and cry into your ice cream.
I walk into the party and as if a record scratches, all eyes turn to me, the same look of surprise on everyone’s face.
“I didn’t think she’d come,” someone whispers.
“How long’s it been? Nine years?” someone whispers back.
“At least,” is the reply. “Probably more than that.”
Ignoring the attention, I wave casually and go in search of Mirabeth, the old friend who invited me here. And because the universe hates me, that’s precisely when I collide with a broad chest wearing a finely tailored black suit jacket.
I don’t have to look up to know who it is. I’d know him anywhere by the feel of his arms and his broad chest, the rhythm of his breathing, and the restless male energy radiating from him.
. Blaze. My first love. The one man I’ll never, ever have.
Ten years earlier…
My mom and my stepdad were having one of their drunken brawls. This one was epic, even by their standards, probably on account of it being Christmas Eve. The holidays always brought out the worst in them.
No one would ever guess that the Everly’s, the perfect family who lived in the biggest house on the best block in town, members of the country club with enviable good looks and powerful social connections, were wildly dysfunctional drunks.
There was a crash and the wall shook. “And the next time you fuck your secretary,” my mom screamed. “Don’t buy her lingerie from our checking account, you pencil dicked pile of shit!”
Ugh. I buried my head under my pillow, not wanting to hear any more about my step father’s private parts.
“ What does it matter, Madeline?” my stepfather bellowed. “Your old twat is dried up anyway. You just want me to be as miserable as you, and I refuse! Do you understand? I refuse!”
I threw my pillow at the wall, pushing myself out of bed and plodding out of the room. A moment later, I knocked softly on my stepbrother’s door. He didn’t reply, and a glance under the door told me that his light was off. I figured he was sleeping but I didn’t want to go back to my room.
I cracked open his door and peeked in, just in time to see a frantic pumping motion under his blanket, which stopped abruptly a second later when he saw me at the door. I froze, surprised and confused.
“Jess, is that you?” Blaze asked softly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry to bother you.” There was a quiver in my voice I hadn’t expected. “I just…they were fighting, and—“
“Yeah, they’re really going at it tonight,” he said.
“I hate Christmas,” I said. “They do this every year.”
“They do this every week,” he said. As always, the deep rumble of his voice put me at ease.
“I can’t stand them sometimes,” I said, walking in and joining him under the covers. I was careful to keep a safe distance between us in case he’d been doing what I thought he was doing when I walked in, but didn’t want to think about.
I was only a sophomore in high school, but I wasn’t completely innocent. I had two close friends who’d already lost their virginity, and they filled me in on the basic details of the male anatomy.
I’d never seen an actual penis, but I knew what boys did. I understood from Blaze’s frantic motions under the covers that he was probably jerking off when I walked in. I just didn’t want to think about it because it was Blaze.
“Make yourself comfortable,” he joked.
“Sorry, I just can’t stand listening to them. Will you talk to
Similar Books
