whisper, as if that excited Grandmother a lot more than it excited anyone else.
The problem with the Kingdom, according to both her grandmothers, is that women get no respect there. In fact, Grandfather wouldn’t let Daddy fight the divorce with Mom even though Daddy wanted to, because Grandfather didn’t believe in fighting over girls (Imperia wasn’t supposed to have heard that either, but she did, and she didn’t tell anybody, not even Grace. Especially not Grace. Grace would’ve cried. Imperia never ever ever cries. Crying is for babies). So Daddy had to do what Grandfather said because, even though there are courts in the Kingdom, Grandfather is the Ultimate Authority, and he can overrule anyone.
Daddy says giving up the girls broke his heart. He said that in the fight Imperia wasn’t supposed to hear. Then Daddy said, You make it sound like I shouldn’t even love my daughters to Grandfather, and Grandfather said, You can love whomever you want, but you still have to follow the rules, and the rules say that the Kingdom goes to the male heir . And Daddy said, Unless there is no male heir, and after me, there isn’t. My daughters deserve to rule . And Grandfather said, That Greater World has corrupted you more than you know .
Which is why Imperia thought the Greater World would be better. She thought it would be hearts and flowers and unicorns and pink ponies and wands with gold glitter. But it isn’t.
Some things are better here. There’s no Grandfather for one thing, and Daddy’s around all the time, and he loves being a Daddy, even if he’s scared he’s doing it wrong. And the weather isn’t bad, it’s just different, all that sunshine and no forests and lots and lots of buildings.
Imperia loves Daddy’s new house, which isn’t a castle at all, but something called a Tudor, and you can walk from one side of it to the other in less than five minutes, and she loves the bookstore that Daddy is building, and she thought she’d love school.
She really thought she’d love school.
But she was wrong.
TWO
School is Warren Excellence Academy of Beverly Hills. Warren Excellence Academy of Beverly Hills is the place to send your children to school, or, at least, that’s what its website says. The website doesn’t give an address or even list staff, although it does mention the school’s founder, Ansible Warren, of the Los Angeles Warrens—an old, old LA family (that goes back more than 100 years, which is younger than Daddy is, but is old for the non-magical, at least that’s what Imperia has learned). Ansible Warren believed in Education, and more importantly, apparently, Education Without RiffRaff—at least that’s what the spoof website says.
The spoof website also has a tab for tuition, which the real website does not. The spoof website’s tuition page says simply, If You Need to Ask About Tuition, You Cannot Afford Excellence .
Which makes Imperia a little uncomfortable. She has learned in the short time she’s been visiting the Greater World that royalty here isn’t hereditary (although she hears there are a few places in the Greater World where it is), but is based on how much money someone has.
Fortunately, Daddy has lots and lots of money because gold is really valuable here, and the one thing the Kingdom has a lot of is gold. So Imperia is royalty in both places, and she thought that would get her an advantage in school, but she was wrong.
Seems she’s missing one other thing that makes for royalty in Southern California. Fame.
Everyone has heard of Prince Charming. No one, it seems, has heard of his oldest daughter Imperia. Apparently, no one has heard of any part of the so-called Cinderella story after the “And They Shall Live Happily Ever After” was recited at her parents’ wedding. Apparently, no one here knows that happily ever after doesn’t always work for the folk who inspired fairy tales or that her parents were the biggest mismatch of their
The problem with the Kingdom, according to both her grandmothers, is that women get no respect there. In fact, Grandfather wouldn’t let Daddy fight the divorce with Mom even though Daddy wanted to, because Grandfather didn’t believe in fighting over girls (Imperia wasn’t supposed to have heard that either, but she did, and she didn’t tell anybody, not even Grace. Especially not Grace. Grace would’ve cried. Imperia never ever ever cries. Crying is for babies). So Daddy had to do what Grandfather said because, even though there are courts in the Kingdom, Grandfather is the Ultimate Authority, and he can overrule anyone.
Daddy says giving up the girls broke his heart. He said that in the fight Imperia wasn’t supposed to hear. Then Daddy said, You make it sound like I shouldn’t even love my daughters to Grandfather, and Grandfather said, You can love whomever you want, but you still have to follow the rules, and the rules say that the Kingdom goes to the male heir . And Daddy said, Unless there is no male heir, and after me, there isn’t. My daughters deserve to rule . And Grandfather said, That Greater World has corrupted you more than you know .
Which is why Imperia thought the Greater World would be better. She thought it would be hearts and flowers and unicorns and pink ponies and wands with gold glitter. But it isn’t.
Some things are better here. There’s no Grandfather for one thing, and Daddy’s around all the time, and he loves being a Daddy, even if he’s scared he’s doing it wrong. And the weather isn’t bad, it’s just different, all that sunshine and no forests and lots and lots of buildings.
Imperia loves Daddy’s new house, which isn’t a castle at all, but something called a Tudor, and you can walk from one side of it to the other in less than five minutes, and she loves the bookstore that Daddy is building, and she thought she’d love school.
She really thought she’d love school.
But she was wrong.
TWO
School is Warren Excellence Academy of Beverly Hills. Warren Excellence Academy of Beverly Hills is the place to send your children to school, or, at least, that’s what its website says. The website doesn’t give an address or even list staff, although it does mention the school’s founder, Ansible Warren, of the Los Angeles Warrens—an old, old LA family (that goes back more than 100 years, which is younger than Daddy is, but is old for the non-magical, at least that’s what Imperia has learned). Ansible Warren believed in Education, and more importantly, apparently, Education Without RiffRaff—at least that’s what the spoof website says.
The spoof website also has a tab for tuition, which the real website does not. The spoof website’s tuition page says simply, If You Need to Ask About Tuition, You Cannot Afford Excellence .
Which makes Imperia a little uncomfortable. She has learned in the short time she’s been visiting the Greater World that royalty here isn’t hereditary (although she hears there are a few places in the Greater World where it is), but is based on how much money someone has.
Fortunately, Daddy has lots and lots of money because gold is really valuable here, and the one thing the Kingdom has a lot of is gold. So Imperia is royalty in both places, and she thought that would get her an advantage in school, but she was wrong.
Seems she’s missing one other thing that makes for royalty in Southern California. Fame.
Everyone has heard of Prince Charming. No one, it seems, has heard of his oldest daughter Imperia. Apparently, no one has heard of any part of the so-called Cinderella story after the “And They Shall Live Happily Ever After” was recited at her parents’ wedding. Apparently, no one here knows that happily ever after doesn’t always work for the folk who inspired fairy tales or that her parents were the biggest mismatch of their
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