Stages of Grace

Stages of Grace by Carey Heywood Page B

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Authors: Carey Heywood
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he claims he’s just checking to make sure it's tight enough. He turns his head too quickly for me to tell if he is smiling or not. He holds my kayak flush to the dock as I step into it. I feel so awkward trying to keep my balance, terrified I will tip over. Thankfully, I don’t, and when he passes me the paddle. I'm able to paddle out a couple of feet to give him room to get into his kayak. I can’t help but watch as he does it so easily, much more gracefully than I had. Then, we are off. Ryan is an adorable tour guide, pointing out things along the way.
    I have never kayaked before but get the hang of it quickly. One thing I did not expect is how much water drips onto me with each pull of my paddle. Ryan doesn’t get as wet. I try holding the paddle farther from my body, but that doesn’t seem to work. I give up and am just happy that I'm wearing a swimsuit. I wonder if Ryan thinks I'm doing a good job. I think I’m keeping up with him just fine, or is he taking it easy on me?
    Ryan suddenly gets very animated and points over to our right. I squint, not seeing anything. I shrug and shake my head but Ryan’s insistent finger continues to point at the water. I look again, just in time to see a large, white something break the surface .
    "What is that?" I shriek.
    "Don’t be frightened, love. It’s just a manatee," Ryan says, laughing at my reaction.
    All I can think of as I watch the manatee slowly sink back under the water is that Ryan just called me love, and how sexy it sounded. Everything he says sounds sexy. My attraction towards Ryan is making me feel flustered , not that it matters. He lives in Florida, and I live in Ohio. With Jon. I wonder what I will feel when I see Jon again when he comes to pick me up from the airport. It’s wild to think my trip is already half over. I have learned so much but still have so many questions for my grandmother. What I cannot understand most of all is why my mother had never forgiven her.
    Ryan is giving me a weird look. Oh Lord. Has he been talking to me this whole time? I must have seemed like a complete space cadet.
    “Sorry. I wasn’t listening. Can you repeat that?” I ask.
    He shrugs it off and doesn’t say anything. I sigh, worried I have hurt his feelings. Not knowing what else to do and wanting to lighten the mood, I angle my paddle in his direction and splash him. His mouth drops open, forming an O as in, “Oh no, you didn’t.” I squeal as he quickly maneuvers over to me.
    "Don’t flip me! Please don’t flip me!" I plead.
    Ryan has his kayak right on the side of mine, facing the opposite direction with one hand gripping the side. I put my hand on top of his trying to pry off his fingers. Ryan keeps looking down at his hand and then to my face before holding both hands up in surrender. Then, back paddling away from me, he leans towards me and in a hushed tone, with a twinkle in his eyes, promises there will be payback. I roll my eyes, trying to act like I’m not scared as he just shakes his head at me.
    We paddle a bit further. By this time, my shoulders are feeling a bit sore. Ryan notices me rolling them and asks if I want to head back. I ask if we can just drift a bit before going back, and Ryan likes that idea. Being on the water is incredibly peaceful. Ryan explains that because of the manatees only boats without motors are allowed. The manatees tend to stay close to the surface and in the past some had been injured. Since they are a protected species, this is one way of keeping them safe. I cannot imagine trying to kayak in the same place boats or jet skis are going. I’m still nervous about tipping and am grateful the water is so much calmer here.
    I set my paddle down in front of me, and Ryan points out a zip tie on the side I can wrap around it to make sure it won’t fall in the water. It won’t be a huge deal if I do drop the paddle, though, because it has a float attached. With the paddle secure, I take off Ryan's hat and lean back in my

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