Splitsville.com by Tonya Kappes

to get some work done today. And it’s a good way to get Bradley, creepy Kent, and Sam the dog off my mind.
    I pull up the next dump in line. This one has been hounding me for days. I scroll down the computer screen to read the reason for the dump and prepare my little speech for the dumpee.
    I scan, then freeze.
    “ What ?” 
    I re-read the reason out loud and slowly. “My boyfriend killed someone, and I can’t take the guilt. I moved out of town and don’t want him to know where I am. He doesn’t have my cell number. Please do this for me. I am worried for my life.”
    Oh my God! Of course this has to be the first dump of the day. And someone wants me to dump a killer? I’m trying to stay out of jail, not get there. I can’t do this even under the best circumstances-which isn’t right now with the looming death of client Dabi Stone. I do not want anyone else’s blood on my hands.
    I quickly find Sabrina Reed’s phone number on her file and dial the not so secret cell number.
    “Hello?” I’m a little taken aback at her answering. I most certainly wouldn’t answer any phone if I were privy to a murder. Sabrina’s sultry voice throws a big red wavy flag my way. “Hello, is anyone there?”
    Damn! I forgot to block my number by typing in star sixty-seven before I dialed her number. “Hi, is Sabrina there?” I decide not to hang up because she is going to have this number either way now. I kick myself for getting sloppy.
    “This is Sabrina.”
    Okay, seriously Sabrina, I want to say, you’re not good at hiding if you answer your phone and don’t change your name.
    “I’m Jenn from Spiltsville.com. I received a request from you to dump your boyfriend. You, um, you said he murdered someone.” I can’t stop myself from thinking she’s an idiot. “I’m just letting you know that your request to break up isn’t going to happen. You have to go to the police.”
    “I can’t do that, Jenn.” Sabrina sounds like a strong girl, and awfully together for someone who fears for her life. “You have to break up with him or he’s going to kill me. Isn’t that what your service is for?”
    “No, as a matter of fact, my service is all about helping people get into better relationships by shedding the old ones. I can not be an accessory to any murder or put my company’s name through the mud.”
    “So you’re telling me that with all the crazy people out there, you’ve never had any request like mine?”
    “Breaking up? Yes. Breaking up because you have pertinent information about the life and whereabouts of a human being’s murderer. No!” I practically come out of my seat. I wish I had a picture of her. “Again, No!”
    All the clues point to this dump as a fake. She did pay so it must be real. I pull up the picture of her murderous boyfriend. He looks more like a book nerd to me.
    “How much?” she asks.
    I rub my temples. “How much what?”
    “How much more money is it going to cost me for you to dump him and not go to the police?”
    “First off, you can’t bribe me.” The nerve of her. Of course first I have to figure out exactly how I’m going to alert the police without also alerting them that I’m behind Splitsville.com, but Sabrina doesn’t need to know that. “And secondly, I am going to give all this information to the police. I’m obligated to by law.”
    “Wow. Did you eat some bitch cereal today, Olivia?”
    I fall off my chair. Oh my god! She’d picked up on the fact I didn’t hide my number and now she knows my real name. Think! Think!
    “What did you call me?”
    “Are you referring to Olivia or Bitch?”
    I’m just plain offended by her comment. It snaps me out of my panic. “My name is Jenn and I do like bitch cereal and not only did I have a bowl, I had two.” I slam down the phone and anonymously make a call to the local Park City police department.
    “911 what’s your emergency?” the operator asks.
    “Yes, I’m not going to say my name, but…” I use