Something More Than This by Barbie Bohrman

name is Abby, and when they met a few years ago, she was also in the midst of her residency. Conner said she had been part of his study group and they’d clicked immediately. They were together for over a year, and the breakup had been amicable because they had both realized that juggling a serious relationship while trying to complete their residencies was far too much pressure. Not to mention the little amount of free time they had to devote to each other.
    “It kind of sucked to end it. I cared a lot about her,” he said. “Actually, now that I think of it, she kind of reminded me of you.”
    This caught me totally off guard. “Why is that?”
    “Well, for one thing, she is a rabid San Diego Chargers fan.”
    “There’s no accounting for taste,” I said with a look of fake contempt. “Everyone knows I’m a rabid Dolphins fan. Even though they break my heart every season.”
    “You know what I mean,” he said, laughing at my reaction. “Anyway, her personality reminded me of you. She’s not afraid to push or challenge herself to do new things. You know, it’s not that easy for women in the sports medicine field. And she never lets that fact get her down. She always squares her shoulders and moves straight ahead.”
    “Sounds like I’d really like her.”
    I meant it. I probably would. But the tiniest twinge of jealousy wraps itself around my heart and squeezes it tight. The me of years past always wondered what it would have been like to be one of Conner’s girlfriends. Today, as he told me about a couple of them, I not only wondered, but actually put myself in their shoes. When he left the room a few times, I daydreamed of how it would be if we were together like that. Would he kiss me hello as soon as he walked in the door after a long day? Would he snuggle and hold me in his arms at night and keep me close? Would he do little things to remind me how much he loved me?
    As soon as I felt my imagination start to go over the deep end, I immediately stopped myself. Because what’s the point? One, he’s only here for a couple of weeks. Two, he has his life in California and I have mine here in Florida. Three, am I supposed to ask him to throw me a bone at least once, since he owes me after all these years? And finally, it’s Conner . . . there is no way it can happen. Even if Mimi is even the slightest bit right in her assumption that he was maybe being a little flirtatious last night, and a bit today, that doesn’t mean a thing. At the end of the day, he doesn’t see me as anything other than the friend I was to him. Which is fine . . . I’m fine. He’s fine. We’re all fine.
    As I was leaving his mom’s house, he was quick to tell me that the next day would be difficult to get together. To be honest, I was a little surprised that he was already planning to see me again so soon. His day would be chock-full of visits from repairmen getting the house ready for the inspection scheduled for the end of the week. But he said that he’d call or text me at some point to make plans.
    Instead of going home, I drive straight to Jonathan’s townhouse on the beach. I don’t even know why. In the past, whenever I’ve popped in to see Jonathan, it’s usually because I had a huge looming deadline or a lot on my plate at work and I needed to unwind. He always ends up propping me in the lounger on his balcony that overlooks the ocean and giving me a blanket to wrap myself in, leaving me alone to relax. I’ll sit and stare out at the horizon and watch the sun barely kiss the water as it slowly disappears for the day. By then, my head is clear and more focused and the stress that had gotten me into such a frazzled state is gone.
    Until the next time . . . like today.
    It’s a Saturday, so he might not be home. Or maybe he has company and doesn’t want his little sister around to cramp his style. I doubt it, but I text him anyway at a stoplight to see if the coast is clear, and he gives me the okay to head