over.
Jonathan takes one look at me and holds the door open wide. I walk past him and head straight to the balcony. Luckily, I’m just in time to catch the sun being swallowed up whole by the ocean until there are only the stars in the night sky and the sounds of the waves crashing onto the shore.
A blanket is carefully placed around my shoulders, and usually I’d let Jonathan just walk away and leave me alone for a bit. But tonight, what I need most is his company.
“You don’t have to leave,” I say, not turning around but feeling his presence still. “Hang out with me for a bit.”
He pulls up a chair, and then he’s sitting and staring at the same view. “It’s really beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s amazing.”
I pull the blanket tighter around me and over my shoulders, allowing only my eyes to peek up and over the rim to see the beauty play out before me.
“Is everything all right, Katy?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“You think so?” he asks.
“It was just a weird day. Actually, it’s been a weird couple of days.”
Jonathan doesn’t say a thing for a few beats. Then he turns his chair a fraction to his left so it’s facing me. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Only if you promise not to tell Simon.”
He smiles and his eyes warm instantly at my request. “You know you don’t ever have to make me promise that.”
After a long pause and then a sigh, I ask him, “Do you remember Conner?”
It takes him a few seconds, but then the name finally registers.
“Wow, that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time. Whatever happened to him?”
“He’s in town for a couple of weeks and looked me up. I just came from his house before I got here to see you.”
Jonathan takes this information in and doesn’t say a word.
“And?” he asks after a few more beats of silence.
“And what?”
He waves his hand up and down my body. “Why does seeing Conner again have you like this? I thought you guys were best friends back in the day.”
With a tight smile, I say, “I know, but that was forever ago. Plus . . . things got kind of weird between us before he went away to college.”
“Weird how?”
“And we didn’t stay in touch all these years.” I stop to take a quick breath, because I can feel myself getting more worked up with every passing second. “Who does that? I mean, someone that you spend almost every single day of your childhood and adolescence with and then poof! Nothing, not one word for nine years! And I’m supposed to not ask about it because then it would be even weirder between us.”
“Weird how , Katy?”
I ignore Jonathan again and keep right on going. “Then last night I think we’re having a normal conversation. But Mimi thought he was totally flirting with me and wants to get in my pants, which is crazy . . . because that would be super weird. Like weird on another level of weird that they haven’t even invented yet. I think—”
“Whoa! Stop for a second and take a breath!”
Jonathan lets me be quiet long enough to compose myself and, more importantly, get my breathing back to normal. If I keep on going—which I probably could—I’ll start to hyperventilate. And for what? I don’t even know why, if I’m being honest with myself. Is it simply because I want to know why Conner waited so long to get in touch with me? Or maybe I need for him to explain to me how he could just leave me behind if I meant so much to him and apparently had such a big impact on his career choice?
“Do you think you can talk calmly about it now?”
“I don’t know. Give me another minute.”
We sit in silence while I try to string together all my thoughts so that they are semi-coherent. That’s when I realize I told my own brother about someone possibly wanting to have sex with me. If there is one subject never to be broached with your brother, it’s your sex life.
Closing my eyes and covering
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