periodically I would hear Herr Werner's loud voice or heavy footsteps upstairs. I sat eating quietly, wondering what was to happen to me in this house with this family.
***
I was left to myself for much of my first couple of days in the Werner household, and I spent that time trying to find my way around the inside of the huge house and wading through the great sea of lawn outside.
I was away from guards for the first time in two years, and I thought about running away. I could have escaped into the small woods that bordered the house, running until I couldn't run anymore and then lying down to sleep in the hope of awakening from this nightmare, back in my bed in Lidice. But each time I thought about leaving, something stopped me.
It was the smell that clung to everything inside and outside of the house. It was unlike anything I had smelled before, and it seemed to be everywhere at once, but its cause remained unseen. Some days it was strong, almost overpowering, while other days it was barely present. I knew something nearby had to be causing it, something unknown and awful. It was the fear of what I might find that kept me from running.
Elsbeth sometimes followed those first few days, hovering behind me. She obviously wanted to be near but was trying to stay far enough away to give me some privacy. She would keep a watchful eye over me until her mother or one of the servants shooed her away or assigned her an errand or chore.
As I wandered through the house, I was struck by how much it reminded me of a museum I had visited once in Prague, with its ornate artwork and dark wood paneling. Everything in the house was lavish and splendid, so perfect that I was afraid I might break something if I touched it.
Besides the bedrooms and studies, there was a huge sunroom on the second floor, which opened onto a large porch that wrapped all the way around the second story of the house. Peter's dog, Kaiser, would sit on the back porch with me and chase the butterflies that came to rest on the flowers. Helga, the maid, made sure there were always fresh flowers in the house, as if trying to use their fragrance to mask the ever-present smell.
A huge formal ballroom took up most of the first floor. One side opened onto a wide spiral staircase that elegantly swept up to the second floor. On the center wall of the ballroom was a framed picture of Hitler. It was almost life size and was accompanied by two red flickering candles and a vase of fresh flowers.
Next to the staircase was a library, with shelf after shelf of books that reached all the way to the ceiling. Some shelves were so high that a special ladder with wheels was needed to reach the books. In all my life I had never seen so many books.
Across from the library was the only room in the Werner house that was locked. Its door was plain compared with everything else in the house, and when I first found it, I thought perhaps it led to a washroom or closet. I turned the knob, but it refused to open. I shook the handle gently, and suddenly Peter was standing between the door and me.
"You can't go in there." His green eyes pierced me from beneath his short blond bangs.
"IâI didn't know," I stammered, pulling my hand away. I hadn't even been aware that he was following me.
"It's Vater's office, and he is the only one allowed inside. Sometimes I can go in. But you cannot." His eyes flashed with an adult kind of authority and narrowed to slits. Suddenly, I felt afraid.
"All right," I told him. "I didn't know."
"You will get in trouble if you ever go in there."
"I understand, Peter. I understand," I said, smiling at him uneasily. He crossed his arms and planted his feet in a firm stance.
"Vater is a very important man, you know. Very important," he said.
Elsbeth appeared next to Peter, nudging him aside. "Come now, Peter. Leave Eva alone. Cook made some treats for you."
"Chocolate biscuits?" Peter's face broke into a grin, and he uncrossed his arms, looking like a
***
I was left to myself for much of my first couple of days in the Werner household, and I spent that time trying to find my way around the inside of the huge house and wading through the great sea of lawn outside.
I was away from guards for the first time in two years, and I thought about running away. I could have escaped into the small woods that bordered the house, running until I couldn't run anymore and then lying down to sleep in the hope of awakening from this nightmare, back in my bed in Lidice. But each time I thought about leaving, something stopped me.
It was the smell that clung to everything inside and outside of the house. It was unlike anything I had smelled before, and it seemed to be everywhere at once, but its cause remained unseen. Some days it was strong, almost overpowering, while other days it was barely present. I knew something nearby had to be causing it, something unknown and awful. It was the fear of what I might find that kept me from running.
Elsbeth sometimes followed those first few days, hovering behind me. She obviously wanted to be near but was trying to stay far enough away to give me some privacy. She would keep a watchful eye over me until her mother or one of the servants shooed her away or assigned her an errand or chore.
As I wandered through the house, I was struck by how much it reminded me of a museum I had visited once in Prague, with its ornate artwork and dark wood paneling. Everything in the house was lavish and splendid, so perfect that I was afraid I might break something if I touched it.
Besides the bedrooms and studies, there was a huge sunroom on the second floor, which opened onto a large porch that wrapped all the way around the second story of the house. Peter's dog, Kaiser, would sit on the back porch with me and chase the butterflies that came to rest on the flowers. Helga, the maid, made sure there were always fresh flowers in the house, as if trying to use their fragrance to mask the ever-present smell.
A huge formal ballroom took up most of the first floor. One side opened onto a wide spiral staircase that elegantly swept up to the second floor. On the center wall of the ballroom was a framed picture of Hitler. It was almost life size and was accompanied by two red flickering candles and a vase of fresh flowers.
Next to the staircase was a library, with shelf after shelf of books that reached all the way to the ceiling. Some shelves were so high that a special ladder with wheels was needed to reach the books. In all my life I had never seen so many books.
Across from the library was the only room in the Werner house that was locked. Its door was plain compared with everything else in the house, and when I first found it, I thought perhaps it led to a washroom or closet. I turned the knob, but it refused to open. I shook the handle gently, and suddenly Peter was standing between the door and me.
"You can't go in there." His green eyes pierced me from beneath his short blond bangs.
"IâI didn't know," I stammered, pulling my hand away. I hadn't even been aware that he was following me.
"It's Vater's office, and he is the only one allowed inside. Sometimes I can go in. But you cannot." His eyes flashed with an adult kind of authority and narrowed to slits. Suddenly, I felt afraid.
"All right," I told him. "I didn't know."
"You will get in trouble if you ever go in there."
"I understand, Peter. I understand," I said, smiling at him uneasily. He crossed his arms and planted his feet in a firm stance.
"Vater is a very important man, you know. Very important," he said.
Elsbeth appeared next to Peter, nudging him aside. "Come now, Peter. Leave Eva alone. Cook made some treats for you."
"Chocolate biscuits?" Peter's face broke into a grin, and he uncrossed his arms, looking like a
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