me go." She cried when I looked up to her face. I pulled her tighter and spread her jeans further open. Then as soft as a feather, I kissed her scars.
Tenderly as I could with shaking hands, I gripped the back of her jeans, scared she would disappear. "Oh God Sassy...." I choked on the tears hidden behind my eyes and lay my head against her tender, hollow womb.
"Sssh" Cassa said running her fingers through my hair. She had agonized over her scars. Mike and Roni had cried at her bedside, as well as Noah and Carrie and Candey. Jerry had gone crazy learning the truth of the night she almost died. Her story was old news to everyone they loved, but to me it was fresh and agonizing. Tears were falling between us but I knew she was there with me, afraid to break the closeness. I stayed holding her, my Sassy, my baby in the freezing cold air and on my knees where I should have always been.
*
Cassa
I hated the tremor that raced over my body from the cold. Shame was up and off his knees in an instant and I felt the cold once his body pulled away from mine. “You’re cold.” He wasn’t asking me as he warmed his hands up and down my arms.
I followed Shamus when he took my hand in his. We walked inside and he led us to the couch where he leaned back and pulled me against him, my back to his front. He cradled me close, his arms holding me tight. We sat there quietly for what felt like hours, and when I looked at the clock I realized it had been and was getting dark outside. The time with him was like heaven, so special and freeing. I always thought if this day came and Shamus learned the truth that he would hate me.
He did the opposite though.
He kissed my scars.
“ Let me up babe.” He whispered and I leaned forward, watching as he walked to my bookcase and moved it away from the fireplace. Panic, the little thief, waltzed in and stole my comfort. "What are you doing Shamus?" I cried out in shock rushing over to stop him.
"Putting an end to this nonsense Sassy. You can ’t live in fear like this." He said before gently nudging me out of the way and finished moving the shelf. He bent down and laughed. On the tiled pit floor sat a bundle of wood. He picked it up and looked at me with a smile. "How old is this wood?"
I laughed because it felt good knowing he would not handle me with kitten gloves. Right now he was teasing me like he always did and it was normal. I desperately craved normal. "We used to have fires when I first moved in. Then one night I had a nightmare that Cory had gotten in the house, by the fire place." I laughed nervously realizing how ridiculous I sounded. "It scared the hell out of me."
He bent down and looked up the shoot and laughed again. "Cassa it’s about a foot wide up here, unless Corey is the size of a twelve year old girl and he could be I haven’t had the pleasure of breaking his face, he wouldn’t fit in here."
"Stop Shame it was a scary dream."
“ But realistically you know it’s not possible right?” He laughed when I went to smack his chest but he jumped back. I hadn’t laughed at myself in a long time and I wanted to bask in the feeling it gave me. Playfully I reached for the firewood debating if I should open the shoot and have a nice fire, when he grabbed me by the hips and spun us until we were face to face.
I didn ’t have time to gasp in surprise when he slanted his perfect lips over mine and kissed me. All the sorrow and fear washed away the moment our lips touched. I wanted it to last, wanted to live in that kiss but the reality of our lives now made it impossible. Shamus was taken and not mine any longer. Images of the rude blonde bimbo from last night popped in my head forcing me to back off.
He moaned at my retreat and I hated him all over again. I didn ’t flinch with Shame. I flinched with everyone and he can just grab me and swoop in with his swagger and know all making me melt. Not flinch.
Doing this with another woman waiting for him at home.
I had
Tenderly as I could with shaking hands, I gripped the back of her jeans, scared she would disappear. "Oh God Sassy...." I choked on the tears hidden behind my eyes and lay my head against her tender, hollow womb.
"Sssh" Cassa said running her fingers through my hair. She had agonized over her scars. Mike and Roni had cried at her bedside, as well as Noah and Carrie and Candey. Jerry had gone crazy learning the truth of the night she almost died. Her story was old news to everyone they loved, but to me it was fresh and agonizing. Tears were falling between us but I knew she was there with me, afraid to break the closeness. I stayed holding her, my Sassy, my baby in the freezing cold air and on my knees where I should have always been.
*
Cassa
I hated the tremor that raced over my body from the cold. Shame was up and off his knees in an instant and I felt the cold once his body pulled away from mine. “You’re cold.” He wasn’t asking me as he warmed his hands up and down my arms.
I followed Shamus when he took my hand in his. We walked inside and he led us to the couch where he leaned back and pulled me against him, my back to his front. He cradled me close, his arms holding me tight. We sat there quietly for what felt like hours, and when I looked at the clock I realized it had been and was getting dark outside. The time with him was like heaven, so special and freeing. I always thought if this day came and Shamus learned the truth that he would hate me.
He did the opposite though.
He kissed my scars.
“ Let me up babe.” He whispered and I leaned forward, watching as he walked to my bookcase and moved it away from the fireplace. Panic, the little thief, waltzed in and stole my comfort. "What are you doing Shamus?" I cried out in shock rushing over to stop him.
"Putting an end to this nonsense Sassy. You can ’t live in fear like this." He said before gently nudging me out of the way and finished moving the shelf. He bent down and laughed. On the tiled pit floor sat a bundle of wood. He picked it up and looked at me with a smile. "How old is this wood?"
I laughed because it felt good knowing he would not handle me with kitten gloves. Right now he was teasing me like he always did and it was normal. I desperately craved normal. "We used to have fires when I first moved in. Then one night I had a nightmare that Cory had gotten in the house, by the fire place." I laughed nervously realizing how ridiculous I sounded. "It scared the hell out of me."
He bent down and looked up the shoot and laughed again. "Cassa it’s about a foot wide up here, unless Corey is the size of a twelve year old girl and he could be I haven’t had the pleasure of breaking his face, he wouldn’t fit in here."
"Stop Shame it was a scary dream."
“ But realistically you know it’s not possible right?” He laughed when I went to smack his chest but he jumped back. I hadn’t laughed at myself in a long time and I wanted to bask in the feeling it gave me. Playfully I reached for the firewood debating if I should open the shoot and have a nice fire, when he grabbed me by the hips and spun us until we were face to face.
I didn ’t have time to gasp in surprise when he slanted his perfect lips over mine and kissed me. All the sorrow and fear washed away the moment our lips touched. I wanted it to last, wanted to live in that kiss but the reality of our lives now made it impossible. Shamus was taken and not mine any longer. Images of the rude blonde bimbo from last night popped in my head forcing me to back off.
He moaned at my retreat and I hated him all over again. I didn ’t flinch with Shame. I flinched with everyone and he can just grab me and swoop in with his swagger and know all making me melt. Not flinch.
Doing this with another woman waiting for him at home.
I had
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