Skin Deep by Laura Jarratt

thick cow!
    Tears stung my eyes. Beth was supposed to be my friend and there she was telling a guy who didn’t even know me all that stuff that should be private.
    I heard Steven Carlisle’s hateful laugh across the room and there he was again, his arm round that girl like it would’ve been round Lindz once.
    Got to get out of here.
    I began pushing through people again until I got to the veranda, but Ed was out there with a bunch of lads. I stopped, uncertain where to go next.
    ‘Come on, you owe me twenty quid,’ Ed said, laughing, to one of the others.
    ‘What, you actually did it? You kissed her.’
    My breath stopped.
    ‘Yup, so hand it over. And give me a drink. I need it after that.’
    The other one pulled some notes out of his wallet. ‘Go on then, what was it like?’
    ‘Gross. She was totally up for it though. Thought she was gonna eat my face off!’
    His mate laughed. ‘Fair play, man, you win! How did you manage to do it?’
    ‘With my eyes shut, you dick, how do you think?’
    I reeled away from the door. Tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks as I blundered towards the main entrance. I didn’t know where to go or what to do, but I had to get out. My heels slipped on the steps as I ran out and I nearly fell, but I caught the handrail to save myself.
    The laughter and music echoed after me as I stumbled down the path.
    ‘Hey!’ a voice called behind me as I ran faster, blinded by tears and the darkness after the lights inside.
    Useless, stupid freak. Nobody would kiss you unless they were paid to.
    ‘Hey!’ the voice called again. A male voice. And then, ‘Jenna, wait!’
    I kept running.
    ‘Jenna, stop.’ The voice was close and a second later, he’d skirted round in front of me. I tried to veer to the side, but he grabbed my arms. ‘Jenna, woah, what happened?’
    Ryan.
    ‘What’s the matter?’
    ‘W-w-w . . .’ I couldn’t get any words out.
    He pulled me towards him and put his arms round me. My nose squashed against his shoulder. ‘Sshhh, sshhh.’
    He was big and warm and solid and I didn’t have enough energy to fight so I leaned on him and sobbed.
    He stroked my hair. ‘Jenna, tell me what happened? Has someone done something?’
    ‘Who-who’d w-want to do anything t-to me?’ I hiccuped against his chest.
    He hugged me tighter. ‘That’s bullshit. Tell me what happened.’ He ducked his head down and tugged mine up. ‘Was it that guy from the accident? He’s here, isn’t he? Someone pointed him out to me.’
    I shook my head. ‘Nothing to do with him. Please let go. I want to go home.’
    ‘Not until you tell me what happened.’ He patted at my face with the cuff of his sleeve, mopping some tears up. ‘Come on, someone’s upset you and I want to know.’
    ‘I can’t . . .’
    ‘Yes, you can,’ he said firmly, ‘and you’re going to.’
    I started to cry again. How could I tell him that ?
    He cupped my face in his hands . . . he cupped my face . . . ‘You tell me right now! Don’t look like that. Just tell me – go on, spit it out.’
    You’re touching my face.
    ‘Jenna!’
    ‘A boy in there . . .’
    ‘Yes?’
    ‘He was talking to me, then he took me outside and . . .’
    ‘And?’
    ‘He kissed me.’
    ‘That’s not all he did. What did he do?’
    My face crumpled. ‘Put his hands up my . . . my . . .’
    He put his arms round me again. ‘All right, don’t cry. I get it. What then?’
    ‘I pushed him off and I went back in. Then I heard him talking to his friends, telling them about it. I-I can’t tell you the rest.’
    ‘Course you can. Was he saying it was more than it was?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Dickhead.’ He rubbed my back for a moment, then pulled away. ‘What’re you not telling me?’
    He wouldn’t stop asking questions and I ran out of words except the truth. ‘He did it for a bet. For twenty pounds. Because I’m . . . I’m . . .’
    Ryan held me at arm’s length. ‘What? He did what ? What’s his name?’
    ‘Ed.