physical need was gone. Which it was. Mostly.
A noise attracted his attention. He cracked his moist eyelids. And saw Rainie. Standing over him fussing with the sheet.
Hell. What was she still doing here? That worried him. He’d really hoped they’d let her go once they had him in their clutches. No good would come of her being anywhere close to him. He’d been down this road before and it hadn’t been pretty.
But she sure was. Pretty, that was.
“Hey,” he said, unreasonably glad to see her at his bedside. God, he was a selfish bastard.
“Welcome back,” she said, and gave him a genuine, if tired, smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than I have a right to be. You okay?”
She nodded. She was holding his hand. He smiled back and passed out again.
But this time he remembered his dreams. Pretty Rainie was in every one. Smiling sweetly as he shot her in the head.
HE woke up several more times, until finally he was able to stay awake for over an hour. After changing his IV, Rainie gave him a cup of water with a straw in it, and fed him apple-sauce with a plastic spoon, and he was even able to keep it down.
“I feel like a baby,” he said. It was kind of embarrassing. Big, macho commando man.
“Your second infancy,” she teased. “Enjoy it.”
“ Hmm . I’m fairly certain I was breastfed,” he said.
She gave him a sardonic grin. “You are feeling better.”
“Yeah.” He eased back on his pillow and looked up at her gratefully. And nervously. “Why are you still here?”
A shadow of unease flitted across her face. “They, um , persuaded me to stay.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. So goddamned predictable. “What did they threaten you with?”
She handed him a folded-up newspaper. He read the headline and cursed under his breath. “Bastards.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. They might be bastards, but Al was right. He was the bigger one for getting her involved in the first place. And he knew better. He knew better. “God, I’m so damned sorry I dragged you into this.”
“Me, too.” And yet, as he gazed into her tired green eyes, they softened. Her cheeks grew pink. “But the sex was really nice.”
He couldn’t believe she’d brought that up. A tingling spilled through him, his body suddenly remembering what pleasure was, rather than merely painful torture.
Nice? “More like amazing,” he said. Was it possible she’d forgiven him for using her? “Look. Maybe . . . if I survive this thing and get back to New York, I could maybe look you up sometime?”
For a second, she looked surprised. Hell, he’d surprised himself. Since when did he make dates? Even when the sex was amazing . . .
But her deep, hesitant intake of breath as she looked deliberately down at the floor was more eloquent than words.
He held up a hand, actually shocked at the letdown he felt at her rejection. Not that he blamed her one damn bit. It wasn’t like he’d shown her a real good time. Besides, that crazy emotional disappointment he was feeling? Probably just a residual influence of the drugs. “Never mind,” he agreed. “You’re right, not a good idea.”
She gave him a bleak smile. “Different worlds” was all she said.
But that pretty much summed it up in a nutshell. She was a nurse, for crying out loud. He was . . . what he was. They came from diametrically opposed worlds, and wish as he might to dwell in hers, no sane, normal woman would ever knowingly accept the things he’d done, the person he’d become, in his. Not even for amazing sex.
In the end, it all came down to one thing.
She saved lives.
He took them.
LATE that night, they were driven to McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey, and escorted out to where a huge, lumbering C-17 was being loaded with cargo bound for Cairo, Egypt. From there they’d transfer to a private transport south and over the border to the Sudan. Kick’s ticket to hell.
He was still weak and shaky, but
A noise attracted his attention. He cracked his moist eyelids. And saw Rainie. Standing over him fussing with the sheet.
Hell. What was she still doing here? That worried him. He’d really hoped they’d let her go once they had him in their clutches. No good would come of her being anywhere close to him. He’d been down this road before and it hadn’t been pretty.
But she sure was. Pretty, that was.
“Hey,” he said, unreasonably glad to see her at his bedside. God, he was a selfish bastard.
“Welcome back,” she said, and gave him a genuine, if tired, smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than I have a right to be. You okay?”
She nodded. She was holding his hand. He smiled back and passed out again.
But this time he remembered his dreams. Pretty Rainie was in every one. Smiling sweetly as he shot her in the head.
HE woke up several more times, until finally he was able to stay awake for over an hour. After changing his IV, Rainie gave him a cup of water with a straw in it, and fed him apple-sauce with a plastic spoon, and he was even able to keep it down.
“I feel like a baby,” he said. It was kind of embarrassing. Big, macho commando man.
“Your second infancy,” she teased. “Enjoy it.”
“ Hmm . I’m fairly certain I was breastfed,” he said.
She gave him a sardonic grin. “You are feeling better.”
“Yeah.” He eased back on his pillow and looked up at her gratefully. And nervously. “Why are you still here?”
A shadow of unease flitted across her face. “They, um , persuaded me to stay.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. So goddamned predictable. “What did they threaten you with?”
She handed him a folded-up newspaper. He read the headline and cursed under his breath. “Bastards.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. They might be bastards, but Al was right. He was the bigger one for getting her involved in the first place. And he knew better. He knew better. “God, I’m so damned sorry I dragged you into this.”
“Me, too.” And yet, as he gazed into her tired green eyes, they softened. Her cheeks grew pink. “But the sex was really nice.”
He couldn’t believe she’d brought that up. A tingling spilled through him, his body suddenly remembering what pleasure was, rather than merely painful torture.
Nice? “More like amazing,” he said. Was it possible she’d forgiven him for using her? “Look. Maybe . . . if I survive this thing and get back to New York, I could maybe look you up sometime?”
For a second, she looked surprised. Hell, he’d surprised himself. Since when did he make dates? Even when the sex was amazing . . .
But her deep, hesitant intake of breath as she looked deliberately down at the floor was more eloquent than words.
He held up a hand, actually shocked at the letdown he felt at her rejection. Not that he blamed her one damn bit. It wasn’t like he’d shown her a real good time. Besides, that crazy emotional disappointment he was feeling? Probably just a residual influence of the drugs. “Never mind,” he agreed. “You’re right, not a good idea.”
She gave him a bleak smile. “Different worlds” was all she said.
But that pretty much summed it up in a nutshell. She was a nurse, for crying out loud. He was . . . what he was. They came from diametrically opposed worlds, and wish as he might to dwell in hers, no sane, normal woman would ever knowingly accept the things he’d done, the person he’d become, in his. Not even for amazing sex.
In the end, it all came down to one thing.
She saved lives.
He took them.
LATE that night, they were driven to McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey, and escorted out to where a huge, lumbering C-17 was being loaded with cargo bound for Cairo, Egypt. From there they’d transfer to a private transport south and over the border to the Sudan. Kick’s ticket to hell.
He was still weak and shaky, but
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